Questions

Teen has no empathy

Posted on 4/12/2015

Our teen is quick to criticize other's reactions instead of just taking care of the matter at hand. Here is a prime example: she accidentally knocks an item off the shelf. I let out a gasp with...

6yo won't clean up after herself

Posted on 4/6/2015

Our 6yo treats our house like her personal bedroom and laundry hamper. She is generally cooperative when I simply tell her to hang up her clothes and put her stuff away, but I'm tired of having to...

12 yo Never gets what he wants

Posted on 4/6/2015

My oldest son is about to turn 12. I mostly have no issues with him. He is an excellent student (in fact he is quite bored in school and complains constantly about it being too easy). He does his...

7 yr old "half-stepper"

Posted on 3/22/2015

Our 7 year old son has trouble following through or doing anything right. He has a chore chart of things he is to accomplish every morning, and other family expectations such has putting shoes...

Teen does her chores but not very well

Posted on 2/17/2015

What should we do about chores that are not completed satisfactorily by a capable teen? It's not intentional but more carelessness. We've tried just calling her back each time to wash the pot left...

Surly Teen

Posted on 2/9/2015

How should we address general surliness with a teen? She is probably ticked because her electronics are being kept downstairs and she seems stressed over the upcoming prom and who is asking whom,...

6 Yr Old Won't Pick Up

Posted on 1/31/2015

We have a 6 (soon to be 7) year old daughter who does not respect the property rights of anyone in the household. She shares a room with older sis and is constantly getting into her stuff and...

High School Junior School Morning Responsibilities

Posted on 1/30/2015

Our high school junior has asked this year to begin handling her own mornings. We agreed and think it will be a positive step toward independence. We let her know the expectations: She must set an...

Leaving Children Unsupervised

Posted on 12/25/2014

At what age do you think parents can expect a child to stay at home alone while the parent runs an errand (out for an hour or less), and at what age can the oldest sibling be expected to look...

4 year old too slow!

Posted on 11/7/2014

My 4 year old is generally obedient and a good kid but moves slow/often gets distracted and I don't want to set a precedent where I am constantly having to stay behind her. So I try to give her...

16 yo Car

Posted on 11/3/2014

My 16 1/2 year-old just totaled the hand-me-down car she has had for exactly one month. Thankfully, everyone is all right; she just misjudged her clearance on a turn. She works in the family...

14 year old Chore Troubles

Posted on 10/5/2014

I am having a challenge getting my 14 year old son to do chores and pick up after himself in the house. He resists doing chores, is sometimes defiant about it, and only does them under reminder...

12 yr old kicked out of the garden

Posted on 10/3/2014

In about 5 hours we will strip our 12 year old daughter's room for an "out of garden" experience due to chronic laziness in schoolwork and chores. Have read your books--question: what to do...

14yo Grades and Overwork

Posted on 9/30/2014

My 14 year old son just recently started his freshman year at a private Jesuit all boys High School where approximately 60% of applicants are accepted. He appears to love it and all his teachers. ...

18 year old Family Chaos

Posted on 9/25/2014

(see Previous posts)As you know my twin 18yr daughter went off to live w boyfriend on 8/10/14 I do NOT support that (I completely cut her off financially).she was raised in Christian home..my...

12 yo Hoarding

Posted on 9/17/2014

How would you recommend handling a 12 year old girl who has hoarding tendencies? (The items do not come from us--mostly grandparents). She cries and says the items have memories. When birthdays...

14 yo Breaking Commitments

Posted on 9/2/2014

Son, in separation process; he, living in an apartment; his wife, living in their home with 17 year old daughter and 14 year old popular son, finds that his son makes a plan to be with him, but...

Allowance, Chores and Budgeting

Posted on 8/27/2014

At what age, or even better, at what maturity level should a child have an allowance? My ten-year-old son does a FEW chores in our home when he is reminded. He has a very good attitude about it...

Blended family freedom

Posted on 8/26/2014

I need advice. We have a blended family, he had two, I had one, and we had two together. Tonight, my stepson (14) said he no longer wanted to come to our house. He's "done with us and our house"....

12 yo Clutter

Posted on 7/15/2014

Our 12 year old daughter is the youngest of 3 (2 brothers up and out) and the only girl on both sides. Problem is she has a lot of dolls, doll accessories, art supplies, etc. that have accumulated...

12 year old just getting by

Posted on 6/16/2014

My 12 year old son is overall a good kid with good grades in school. An issue that he has had his whole school life is that he will just do the bare minimum to get by. From a coloring project to...

The Social Life of a 6 Year Old

Posted on 6/7/2014

I'm getting a complex and feeling like I must be a really mean parent. Perhaps I am. Could you please let me know if I have done the right thing? My daughter who is six has been invited to another...

Obeying Requests

Posted on 6/6/2014

My son will be 4 in September. For the most part he is a very well behaved, happy kid. I would say my main issue with him at this time is listening and/or obeying. Frequently, when I ask him...

Do Your Homework!

Posted on 5/29/2014

What is an appropriate consequence for a(n ADHD) child not getting homework done? Our 11year old child is getting sent to bed early as a consequence for not doing as told or smart-mouthing....

13 yr old carelessness

Posted on 5/5/2014

Our son to be 13 year old son is driving us to the brink of madness. He is so haphazard and careless with all that he does. One small example would be his socks. We find his socks in the van,...

7/10 YO Boys and Mornings

Posted on 4/28/2014

I have two boys, ages 7 and 10. Mornings are really rough and usually end up in tears. As a single mom, I am so tired of having such bad morning. Today, they are at home because I waited in the...

Humility and Gratitude Needed for Arrogent Pre-teen

Posted on 4/23/2014

My 12 year old son has developed quite an arrogant attitude over the last few years. Not over achievements, but seems to just like one-upping people and using a tone to let them know they made a...

6 yo dawdles in the morning

Posted on 4/16/2014

My son is 6 years old and he dawdles. When I ask him to do his morning routine or clean his room he just sits around or does whatever else. I have read to take the child to school in his pj's but...

6 YO and 9 YO need responsibility training

Posted on 3/18/2014

Can you suggest a discipline plan to help a 6 year boy and almost 9 year old to be more responsible? They come home and throw their backpacks and coats on the floor. In the mornings, it is...

Angry 11 year old

Posted on 3/14/2014

Our 11 year old son is angry, all the time. With his parents, his sister, his school, his classmates, his teachers. He feels that everyone is out to get him & he's being persecuted no matter what...

Foster Daughter Too Eager to Help?

Posted on 3/13/2014

Thanks for your question. From your description, I'm not sure "parentification" is an appropriate term for your foster daughter's behavior. I want to discourage you from giving consequences...

New Question

Posted on 2/21/2014

Our oldest son (of 4 children) is 17 years old. He is, to all people outside of our home, the ideal child. He is a straight "A "student, involved in the community, and polite to his friends,...

8 and10 year old are forgetful and lazy

Posted on 2/15/2014

Each of my children, an 8 year old boy and a 10 year old girl, has a repetitive discipline problem. My son forgets, leaves and loses items; my daughter is slow, often lazy, and does not complete...

New Question

Posted on 1/27/2014

Our nineteen year old son is in his second semester of a local community college. Having made good grades in high school he is continuing to do the same in college. The problem is a habit of...

Chores Help Keep "Team Family" Healthy

Posted on 12/4/2013

My children are 8, 7 and 4. They leave lights on all over the house, they leave their clothes and bath towels on the floor, drawers open in their room, papers, crayons, toys, crumbs scattered...

Instilling Confidence in Preschooler

Posted on 11/27/2013

Hello, We have 4.5 year old fraternal twin boys. They just started half-day Pre-K at our public school and go to a structured daycare center the other half of the day. We just had our first...

Super-Defiant 8-year-old

Posted on 11/18/2013

My 8-year-old daughter can be very sweet and super-helpful some days, but more often then not she is defiant and disobeys every single instruction I give her. Over the years I have tried many...

Help, We Disagree on How to Discipline our 12yo Granddaughter

Posted on 11/12/2013

I am asking for help regarding my choice of discipline versus my husband's. We are raising our 12 year old granddaughter. She has been in our home for 3 years. Her mother is a recovering addict...

14 year old girl: Taking responsibility

Posted on 10/16/2013

Situation: Divorced in 2009. Mom remarried in 2011, Dad (me) expects to remarry in 2014. Three children: Son (16) / Daughter (14) / Son (10). Custody is 50:50 (week with Dad / week with Mom). ...

12 yo only child: Brat

Posted on 10/11/2013

We have an only child, who is 12. He is in private school and makes good grades. He doesn't have many things his friends have (i.e. a cell phone); we are not indulgent parents. In 2012 we...

18 year old abusing the privilege of living at home

Posted on 10/7/2013

I'm interested in hearing your recommendations for boundaries for college aged (and beyond) children who live at home? Do we have a curfew? Should they be required to spend time with the family...

4 year old : Bedtime issues

Posted on 10/6/2013

We have generally well behaved children 5 yr old boy in kindergarten and a 4 yr old girl in preschool. However when it comes to bedtime, they sleep in the same room and are terrors most nights....

Teenager : Do House Rules still apply to a College Teen?

Posted on 10/3/2013

Our 18yo son is at college out of town. When he comes home for Christmas and Summer Breaks, can all house rules still apply? He will still do chores (& get a job), but what about our limits...

Teenager : Teenage pregnancy

Posted on 9/25/2013

I am working with a single mom who has a 15 year old daughter who is 3 months pregnant. The daughter feels that since she is going to be a parent she deserves to be treated as an adult and no...

Teenager : How to make a teen listen carefully

Posted on 9/12/2013

How do we teach a teen to focus on what we are saying? Sometimes she just has something on her mind she is about to share and so when we say something like, "Put the dishes in the dishwasher," she...

9 year old : Following through on responsibilities

Posted on 9/12/2013

My daughter is 9, and I don't want to micromanage her, but I'm unsure of how to handle her failing to pick up after herself. From leaving clothes on the bathroom floor to toys and shoes left in...

Pre-teen : Not following through with daily responsibilities

Posted on 8/22/2013

On school mornings, our children, 12 and 15, are required to make their beds, have their rooms relatively tidy, keep the bathroom counters free of clutter and turn out the lights as they come down...

Teenager : video games vs. television

Posted on 8/6/2013

My 18 yr old son says it is unfair to restrict him doing internet video games when his 20 yr old sister watches a lot of television, ie Netflix episodes, etc. They are both on break from school....

Teenager : Doing chores right the first time

Posted on 8/1/2013

Our overall good-natured teenager said we never notice all the good things she does but instead nitpick all day about the things she doesn't do. It probably seems that way to her because, really...

12 year old : Teen-Proofing

Posted on 7/17/2013

I just began Teen-Proofing, you mentioned what happens in children that are micromanaged and they are all spot on. I spent 5 yrs screaming and saying hurtful things to my 12 yo only (not my 10 yo)...

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