Posted 1 week ago
Q: A friend recently pointed out that I constantly nitpick my nine-year-old son’s behavior. Her words were, “You’re on his case all the time.” Why do I nitpick and how can I stop? A: ...
Read MorePosted 2 weeks ago
I often find myself telling parents that they need to stop doing something that is counterproductive and, in most cases, contributing significantly to whatever parenting problem is bedeviling...
Read MorePosted 3 weeks ago
Q: Our 13-year-old eighth-grader says he doesn’t like the small private school he attends and wants us to put him in public high school next year. His grades are fine, he’s got several close...
Read MorePosted on 9/22/2021
When I was a graduate student, one of the parenting memes then emerging from within the mental health professional community had it that “children deserved explanations.” The flip side of that...
Read MorePosted on 9/7/2021
It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...
Read MorePosted on 6/29/2021
We interrupt this weekly column with a three-question quiz, following which you will find the correct answers. 1. True or False? Telling a child that her feelings concerning a decision you...
Read MorePosted on 6/8/2021
Q: My fifteen-year-old daughter is slowly driving me insane! She argues with me about everything and always wants the last word. No matter how well I explain the “why?” of a decision to her, she...
Read MorePosted on 5/18/2021
No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...
Read MorePosted on 5/4/2021
Many if not most if not almost all of today’s parents believe in magic words. They do so because the mental health professional community has for fifty years or so told them that children can be...
Read MorePosted on 3/30/2021
To most folks, micromanagement has to do with tasks or performance. The micromanaging parent, for example, is generally thought of as one who hovers over a child’s homework or academics in...
Read MorePosted on 2/23/2021
A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...
Read MorePosted on 2/2/2021
Q: In a recent column, you described our five-year-old daughter. She is in bed at 6:30 in the evening but usually wakes up during the night and wants to talk to us about whatever is on her mind....
Read MorePosted on 1/19/2021
Making children happy became a parenting goal in the early 1970s. The paradox, as everyone with a modicum of commonsense knows, is that the more effort parents put into making a child happy, the...
Read MorePosted on 12/22/2020
A journalist asks, “What is the biggest challenge facing today’s children?” “The real world,” I said. For the last fifty years or so, good parenting has been defined...
Read MorePosted on 10/27/2020
Living with an emotionally dramatic child is no fun. They throw wet blankets over nearly every family gathering or outing. Little is right in their lives and attempts to cheer them up generally...
Read MorePosted on 10/20/2020
Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...
Read MorePosted on 10/6/2020
Q: In your column of last week, you referred to the “hump of toddlerhood.” Can you please explain further? A: In using the word “hump,” I’m equating chronological toddlerhood – roughly,...
Read MorePosted on 9/14/2020
Q: My 13-year-old son’s grades and overall respect for me and other adults – teachers, in particular – began going downhill last year (eighth grade), even before the shutdown. He began school this...
Read MorePosted on 9/8/2020
A grandmother in Arkansas says her adult children have great difficulty telling their children what to do. They turn instructions – more accurately, what they think are instructions – into...
Read MorePosted on 7/7/2020
Are parents responsible for the sort of people their children become? That’s this week’s question, and the answer is no, albeit equivocally. Several parents have recently written me...
Read MorePosted on 5/12/2020
The biggest problem in the life of today’s all-too typical mother is herself. She is her own worst enemy. Them’s fightin’ words, I know, but please, hold the tomatoes and other vegetables and bear...
Read MorePosted on 3/24/2020
Vital to a child’s sense of well-being are parents who act competent to provide adequate provision and protection under any and all circumstances. I often refer to that obligation...
Read MorePosted on 2/11/2020
This is the second in a series of three columns on the Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!). Last week, I identified giving children explanations for parental instructions,...
Read MorePosted on 2/4/2020
One of the “secrets” to a happy, healthy emotional life is to identify one’s bad, nonproductive habits and replace them with habits – slowly built – that are functional. That same principle is of...
Read MorePosted on 8/6/2019
Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...
Read MorePosted on 6/4/2019
When children were raised, reared, or simply brought up, they emancipated “on time.” Upon high school graduation, children went to college, into the military, or became employed. Some, like my...
Read MorePosted on 5/14/2019
Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...
Read MorePosted on 4/9/2019
“We’ve tried everything!” is one of the more common testimonials I hear from parents who’ve just described persistent and highly vexing discipline problems with a child or children. ...
Read MorePosted on 2/18/2019
A journalist recently asked me for the single biggest mistake being made by today’s parents. I was tempted to say, “Having children,” but stopped myself because even if I’d followed up with “Just...
Read MorePosted on 1/29/2019
There is “parenting” and then there is bringing up, rearing, or raising children. The difference is night and day; so are the outcomes, short- and long-term, to all concerned, meaning every single...
Read MorePosted on 1/9/2019
“So, anyway, after they take showers I lay out their school clothes for the next day. And then….” “Hold on right there,” “How old are your girls again?” “Um,...
Read MorePosted on 12/26/2017
Is a father owed respect from his children? Actually, the question, from a father, was rhetorical: Isn’t a father owed his children’s respect? The dad in question maintains that because he loves...
Read MorePosted on 11/20/2017
I was fresh out of grad school when psychologists and other mental health types began recommending that when speaking to a child, an adult should squat down to eye level with said child....
Read MorePosted on 9/13/2017
Q: I get very frustrated with my children when they don’t obey me, even down to the simplest of instructions, and end up yelling. How does a parent stop yelling at her kids? A: Thank you,...
Read MorePosted on 8/29/2017
Q: I have taught my 4-year-old son that he is the boss. I have given him too many choices and too many explanations. I’ve allowed him to manipulate, disobey, and disrespect me. Ever since I began...
Read MorePosted on 7/12/2017
I call it “Vitamin N.” It is the word children need to hear most, but it is currently the word children hear least. It is arguably the most character-building word in the English language, but...
Read MorePosted on 7/4/2017
Do you need a parent-nanny? Not a nanny for your child, mind you, but one for YOU! I recently introduced my readers to what I call “upside-down, inside-out and turned around...
Read MorePosted on 3/21/2017
Once again, a reader proves that parenting must be added to religion and politics as verboten subjects for polite conversation. A column I published back in December of 2016 went viral...
Read MorePosted on 3/29/2016
Q: We have a 7-year-old son and two girls ages 9 and 6. The girls are gifted academically and athletically. He simply can’t keep up with them. They’re even better at bike-riding. As a result, he...
Read MorePosted on 3/8/2016
Actress Charlize Theron recently caused a media stir when she wrestled her adopted four-year-old son Jackson to the ground when he began throwing a public tantrum. For this, Theron was labeled a...
Read MorePosted on 2/17/2016
“Do children have any rights?” is the question of the week, submitted by a 30-something reader. Yes, children have rights. First and foremost, there is their right to be loved...
Read MorePosted on 12/8/2015
This is the third and final installment of my “Wrong Things Experts Have Said (and Still Say)” series. Thus far: I’ve debunked the myth that a consequence must be delivered immediately in order...
Read MorePosted on 10/27/2015
Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond It’s the little things that count…always That’s true when it comes to being a citizen, an employee, and a spouse. It’s also true of being a...
Read MorePosted on 9/22/2015
The following statement is true: A child’s natural response to the proper presentation of authority is obedience. The following statement is also true: Most of today’s parents—I’d...
Read MorePosted on 12/30/2014
Who are the happier campers in a workplace setting: the employees who (a) obey the rules, follow the procedures, and voice any complaints respectfully, such that the entire workplace is not...
Read MorePosted on 8/26/2014
As the old parenting point of view fell out of fashion beginning in the late 1960s, the vernacular that accompanied it all but completely disappeared. Today’s parents don’t say to...
Read MorePosted on 8/12/2014
On one of my websites I, along with a team of certified parent coaches, answer questions submitted by parents. In the last two days, 67 percent of the questions have concerned toilet...
Read MorePosted on 5/27/2014
“How can my spouse and I get on the same page where the kids are concerned?” is both the most difficult question parents ask me and also the most important. It is the most difficult because each...
Read MorePosted on 5/20/2014
Q: For the first five years of her life, it was just me and my now 13-year-old daughter. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. I wasn’t consistent; I didn’t hold her accountable; I was an...
Read MorePosted on 4/1/2014
Q: My 14-year-old daughter says I don't trust her because unlike her best friend's parents, I won't allow her to stay home alone for several days while I go out of town. Her friend's parents do...
Read MoreShowing results 1-50 on page 1 of 7.
