John's Articles

Drama-Free Bedtime

Posted on 11/29/2022

Q: Several months ago, my husband and I allowed our five-year-old daughter to sleep with us for a couple of nights. We thought this was innocent, but she began crying hysterically when we...

If Bedtime Routine Invites Trouble, Shorten It

Posted on 7/12/2022

Q: We have a 3.5-year-old and each night we have a routine that we go through with her--bath, pajamas, brush, choose two books and read them, sing a couple of songs, and pray before lights out....

Just 'Stop It!'

Posted on 10/12/2021

I often find myself telling parents that they need to stop doing something that is counterproductive and, in most cases, contributing significantly to whatever parenting problem is bedeviling...

How To Ensure Your Children Sleep on Their Own

Posted on 5/12/2021

Q: I’m a working single mom with a 4-year-old daughter who won’t go to sleep unless I lie down with her. Plus, if she wakes up in the middle of the night to find I’m no longer in her bed, she...

Why Isn't Your Child Sleeping in Her Own Bed?

Posted on 2/2/2021

Q: In a recent column, you described our five-year-old daughter. She is in bed at 6:30 in the evening but usually wakes up during the night and wants to talk to us about whatever is on her mind....

When It Comes to Phases, Don't Make Mountains out of Molehills

Posted on 2/25/2020

Q: Our daughter, our first and only, is just short of three-and-one-half. She has recently started coming into our room in the middle of the night and making a request of one sort or another. She...

Co-Sleeping Is Detrimental to Marriage

Posted on 9/11/2019

A New York writer named Jonathan Daniel Stern, writing in the August 7, 2019, issue of the e-zine “Fatherly,” laments that co-sleeping has destroyed his marriage. As best as I can figure, Stern...

Comfort, Not Counseling, Is the Treatment for Nightmares

Posted on 12/21/2016

Q: Our 5-year-old has suddenly started waking up with nightmares. He's not able to describe them with any clarity, however, so we don't know what the content of them is. The most he's able to...

Rescue Yourself and Your Child With Bedtime Routine

Posted on 5/11/2016

Q: My daughter, who just turned three, has a surge of energy after dinner and can take hours to fall asleep. I try putting her down around 8 o’clock, but there are nights when she doesn’t fall...

More on Attachment Parenting

Posted on 8/18/2015

Making a Change

Posted on 8/4/2015

This is a story about how quickly parents, if they are determined enough, can make significant change in parenting policy. The family in question consists of two boys, ages 9 and 8,...

Bedtime Fears

Posted on 3/10/2015

Teens & Sleep

Posted on 9/2/2014

New research finds that teens whose school days begin later than the national norm of approximately eight o’clock achieve at higher levels than teens who start school earlier. The researchers in...

"The Doctor" Makes House Calls

Posted on 4/28/2014

Shortly after I finished graduate school, a friend of mine shared with me a book called Indirect Hypnosis, written by Milton Erickson, a most unorthodox psychiatrist if ever there was one....

Too Old to Cuddle?

Posted on 4/15/2014

Q: My 11-year old son, an only child, continues to ask me to "snuggle" with him and scratch his back at bed time. This is a time for us to read aloud, chat about concerns or questions, and say...

3 Year Old has bedtime problems

Posted on 1/22/2013

Q: For the past several weeks, our just-turned 3-year-old has been waking up and coming into our room at all hours of the night with the usual excuses. He's scared, hungry, thirsty, lonely, can't...

3-Year-Old Boys Bedtime Issues

Posted on 10/18/2011

How to quiet down boys' bedtime antics Q: My twin boys will be 3 next month. They sleep in the same room. They've recently taken to getting out of their beds (together, although one seems to be...

28-Month-Old Girl Naptime

Posted on 2/15/2011

Kids give up naps when ready, no matter the age Q. Over the holidays, our 28-month-old daughter stopped napping. A couple of days we were so busy with Christmas that a nap simply was not...

15 Resolutions For Parents

Posted on 1/4/2011

15 resolutions for parents Given that this is the first column of a new year, I'm proposing a number of parenting New Year's Resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means...

2-Year-Old Sleeping in Parents' Bed

Posted on 11/30/2010

Time for the really bad parenting advice award Every so often, when I'm feeling in an especially mischievous mood (as opposed to my typically mischievous mood), I award a RALPH - Rosemond's...

2 1/2-Year-Old Girl Nap Time

Posted on 5/18/2010

Toddler exercises her will at naptime Q: My 21/2-year- old is still sleeping in her crib. When we put her in for a nap, she begins jumping up and down, holding onto the side. (She was also...

13-Month-Old Girl Sleeping Issues

Posted on 7/21/2009

BABY WILL FALL ASLEEP IF YOU LET GO Q. My 13-month-old has become used to napping while I hold her, which I started when she was a small baby during a horrible bout of teething. Now she will...

4-Year-Old Boy Sleeping Patterns

Posted on 7/7/2009

TIMING IS KEY TO FIXING KIDS' SLEEP PATTERNS Q. Under normal circumstances, which are rare, our 4-year-old son goes to bed uneventfully by 7:30 and is usually asleep before 7:45. He never...

The Family Bed

Posted on 6/23/2009

The Family Bed, Revisited: Lots of folks have responded, pro and con, to a recent article in which I said the "family bed" is a poor substitute for a healthy marriage. Several respondents...

10-Year-Old Girl Crying at Bedtime

Posted on 6/9/2009

*Good News from California: A mom from the Bay Area writes that after her father passed away last year, her 10-year-old daughter began crying every night at bedtime. The child's distress escalated...

Child Sharing Bed with Parents

Posted on 6/2/2009

SHARING YOUR BED? PARENTS, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? The second question: "Why should a child not be found sharing his parents' bed?" In this case, the issue is boundaries. Parenting is a form...

2 1/2-Year-Old Boy Overly Tired From Waking Up During the Night

Posted on 1/6/2009

LATE BEDTIME MAY MEAN YOUNG CHILD WON'T SLEEP AS WELL THE BIGGEST BENEFIT OF PUTTING A CHILD TO BED EARLY IS THAT COUPLES GET TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER. Q. For the last month, our 2...

13 - Year - Old - Girl - Micromanaging Bedtime

Posted on 12/4/2007

TEEN RESISTING SCHEDULED BEDTIME Q. We enforce a 10 p.m. bedtime for our 13-year-old. She has to go to bed one minute earlier the next night for every minute she is to bed later than 10 the...

3-Year-Old Girl Having A Hard Time Falling Asleep

Posted on 9/4/2007

LET 3-YEAR-OLD TAKE HER SWEET TIME FALLING ASLEEP Q. It's 10 p.m. and my 3-year-old daughter just fell asleep. She used to sleep 12 hours a night, from 7 to 7, but she hasn't done that in...

3-Year-Old Girl Naptime

Posted on 7/3/2007

Q. My 3-year-old daughter still takes an hour nap in the afternoon. My husband's parents keep telling me that their children stopped taking naps before age 2. My daughter is a mess if she doesn't...

3-Year-Old Sleeping Issue

Posted on 2/20/2007

ALLOWING KIDS TO SLEEP IN YOUR BED CAN LEAD TO A NIGHTMARE Sometimes I wonder if parents understand the concept of robbing Peter to pay Paul - that taking the easy way out of a parenting...

5-Year-Old Twins Playing Instead of Sleeping

Posted on 2/6/2007

TWINS PLAY WHEN THEY SHOULD BE SLEEPING - IS THIS A PROBLEM? Q: After I put my 5-year-old twins to bed at 7:30, they get up and play in their room, sometimes for a couple of hours. How can I...

7-Year-Old Sleeping Problems Leads to Marriage Issues

Posted on 1/2/2007

Mom sleeps alone Q: My husband and I are older parents of a 7-year-old. From the very beginning, our son slept with us because my husband couldn't stand to listen to him cry. That has since...

30-Month-Old Twins Won't Go To Sleep

Posted on 12/12/2006

Bedtime turns into playtime The problem: 30-month-old twin boys who have learned to climb out of their cribs, thus turning bedtime into a two-hour play-fest. (Note: beds have been ordered and...

5- and 2-Year-Old Boys Won't Take Naps

Posted on 12/5/2006

NOW THAT THEY'RE BUNKING TOGETHER, THEY WON'T TAKE NAPS Q: My almost 5- and 2-year-old boys recently moved to a bunk bed to be in the same room. I'm delighted that they have a wonderful...

5-Year-Old Enforced Naptime at School

Posted on 10/10/2006

Enforced naptime Q: My 5-year-old son started kindergarten this year. He is an active, inquisitive boy who has not taken a nap in three years. However, the school enforces a 45-minute naptime....

19-Month-Old Sleep Issues

Posted on 10/3/2006

TODDLER WON'T SLEEP IN HER OWN ROOM Q: I am adopting a 19-month-old child who has had problems going to sleep on her own since the day I brought her home. At first, I sat next to her while she...

3 1/2-Year-Old Likes Crib Instead of Bed

Posted on 9/19/2006

TODDLER LIKES CRIB INSTEAD OF BED Q: My 3 1/2-year-old daughter still sleeps in a crib, loves it and has no interest in sleeping in the big bed in her room. She's a great sleeper, even though...

28-Month-Old Sleeping Issues

Posted on 8/8/2006

STAY CALM ABOUT TODDLER'S CHANGING SLEEP PATTERNS Q: Our 28-month-old recently started waking three or four times a night and coming into our room crying. We respond by telling her it's still...

6-Year-Old Fear of Sleeping Alone

Posted on 5/23/2006

IT'S TIME FOR 6-YEAR-OLD BOY TO CONQUER FEAR OF SLEEPING ALONE Q: When we had our first child, his pediatrician encouraged "attachment parenting" and especially that we all sleep together....

3-Year-Old Bed Wetting Issue

Posted on 1/17/2006

SPANKING IS NOT SOLUTION TO BED-WETTING BY 3-YEAR-OLD BOY Q: Our 3-year-old son has been day- and night-potty trained for nearly a year. Several months ago, just after starting preschool, he...

2-Year-Old Does Not Want to Sleep in Bed

Posted on 11/29/2005

Son prefers chair to bed Q: When our son turned 2, my husband and I converted his crib to a toddler bed. Since then he has refused to stay in his bed, even his room, so we installed a...

4-Year-Old Being Disruptive at Naptime

Posted on 9/27/2005

STOP NEGOTIATING WITH 'MR. DISRUPTIVE' FORMULA FOR SOLVING NAP-TIME TROUBLE WORKS FOR OTHER PROBLEMS, TOO Q: My sons are 4 and 2. After lunch, I put the youngest to bed for a nap, wait until...

4-Year-Old Twins Sleep and Socialization Issues

Posted on 8/16/2005

BEDTIME BEDLAM MAY STEM FROM PARENTS, NOT KIDS Q: My twin 4-year-old boys, who get along wonderfully, share a bedroom. They go to bed quite cooperatively, but they talk to each other and ask...

10-Year-Old Separation Anxiety

Posted on 6/29/2004

HELP CHILD TAME SEPARATION ANXIETY Q: Our 10-year-old daughter has a problem with separation from me. After I put her to bed, she gets up numerous times to make sure I'm still in the house. She...

5-Year-Old Bad Dreams

Posted on 2/10/2004

HELP 5-YEAR-OLD CONQUER BAD DREAMS Q: My 5-year-old daughter has occasional bad dreams. She can go weeks without one and then have them once or twice a night for two weeks in a row. She's on a...

18-Month-Old Refuses to Sleep in Bed

Posted on 11/4/2003

ADVICE FOR PARENTS OF TODDLERS Q: My 18-month-old son made the transition from crib to toddler bed almost seven weeks ago. He did wonderfully for the first couple of weeks, but now he refuses...

5-Year-Old Scared During the Night

Posted on 10/28/2003

Q: Our 5-year-old daughter has recently been getting out of bed in the middle of the night and coming into our room telling us she is scared. When we question her, however, she can't tell us what...

4-Year-Old Refuses to Take Nap

Posted on 7/22/2003

INSTEAD OF 'TAKE A NAP,' SET RULES FOR 'QUIET TIME' Q: For the last six months or so, my almost-4-year-old son has refused to take a nap for me. I know he's tired because he will fall asleep if...

2-Year-Old Sleeping Issue

Posted on 7/8/2003

'FAMILY BED' MORE CHAOTIC THAN COZY Q: My 2-year-old grandson has slept with his parents since he was born, but with the birth of a third child (he has a 4-year-old sister), he moved to a bed...

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