John's Articles
What Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?
Posted on 6/7/2022
Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....
Read MoreFixing Our 'Parent-View'
Posted on 9/28/2021
Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...
Read MoreHandle Split Custody Parenting Issues With Grace
Posted on 9/14/2020
Q: My 13-year-old son’s grades and overall respect for me and other adults – teachers, in particular – began going downhill last year (eighth grade), even before the shutdown. He began school this...
Read MoreAdults, Children Must Maintain Relationship Boundaries
Posted on 6/20/2018
A column of mine that originally appeared in January of 2017 has been circulating on the Internet ever since, accumulating over a million hits to date. In a nutshell, its message is simply that...
Read More3-Year-Old Girl Missing Dad
Posted on 8/2/2011
Tot's distress isn't about missing dad Q. My daughter will be 3 years old soon. Her father was primary caretaker until she was around 20 months, then he left and she hasn't seen him since. I...
Read MoreSingle Parent with Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Posted on 7/5/2011
Single parent with a boyfriend: Drama is silly "When is the right time to introduce my girlfriend/boyfriend to my kids?" is a question single parents frequently ask. "Why is this even an...
Read More15 Resolutions For Parents
Posted on 1/4/2011
15 resolutions for parents Given that this is the first column of a new year, I'm proposing a number of parenting New Year's Resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means...
Read MoreBoys Need Fathers, Not Friends
Posted on 11/17/2009
TODAY'S MALES NEED FATHERS, NOT FRIENDS I recently spent some time with a friend who has three children. My buddy is a college-educated responsible guy who has never failed to do right by his...
Read MoreChildren Adapt to Differing Discipline Styles
Posted on 11/3/2009
CHILDREN ADAPT TO DIFFERING RULES Q. I am a full-time nanny living with a single dad and his four young sons. The dad has given me free rein to deal with the kids and discipline them as I see...
Read MoreMom Disciplines 15-Year-Old Daughter, But Ex Does Not Follow Through
Posted on 10/13/2009
MOM DISCIPLINES DAUGHTER, THEN DIVORCED DAD IGNORES IT Q. My 15-year-old daughter's grades have dropped this year, and I have taken away most of her privileges. But she spends a few nights a...
Read MoreA Family is a Family
Posted on 3/20/2007
FORGET ADJECTIVES; ANY CHILD IS A CHILD, ANY FAMILY IS A FAMILY Parents frequently ask if I have written books on adjective-children (e.g. adopted children) or adjective-families (e.g. blended...
Read MoreSingle Parenting
Posted on 12/14/2004
"So what about single parents, John?" asks a single mom. She was responding to last week's column in which I proposed (I will dare to say proved) that it is in a child's best interest for his...
Read MoreNo Longer Husband and Wife, but Still Father and Mother
Posted on 9/16/2003
TEAMWORK OFTEN KEY IN DISCIPLINE Q: I am the single mother of a 9-year-old boy. I feel like I'm a fairly good disciplinarian, but I occasionally ask my ex-husband, from whom I've been divorced...
Read More14-Year-Old is Disrespectful and Hostile Toward Mom
Posted on 11/10/1998
DON'T LET YOUR HOSTILE SON TURN YOU INTO HIS TARGET Q. I'm a single mother with custody of my 14-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has mental problems stemming from battle...
Read MoreSingle Mom of 4- and 7-Year-Old Considering Moving Away from Ex-Husband
Posted on 4/29/1997
IT MAY BE OK TO LET PARENT'S BEST INTEREST SWAY DECISION Q. I am a single mother with two children, ages 7 and 4. At present, we live in the same community as my ex-husband. The problem is,...
Read MoreHurdles of a Step-Family
Posted on 4/15/1997
STEP FAMILY SHOULD FOCUS ON MARRIAGE, AUTHORITY 1. I am a single mother with a 9-year-old son. Robbie's father sees him on a regular basis, and they have a good relationship. I've recently...
Read MoreStepparents Should Assume Full Authority Over Stepchildren
Posted on 12/5/1996
GIVE STEPPARENT AUTHORITY WITH KIDS Q. I have two children, ages 8 and 4, from my first marriage and am about to remarry. I recently read an article in which a psychologist who's written a book...
Read MoreIrresponsible for Unmarried Adults to Live Together When Children are Involved
Posted on 9/19/1996
HAVE KIDS? LIVING WITH BOYFRIEND IS NOT A GOOD IDEA Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other steadily for two years and plan to marry as soon as our financial situation improves....
Read MoreThoughts on Parenting and Families - Part 2
Posted on 8/13/1993
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON PARENTHOOD, FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS, RAISING CHILDREN Continued from last week, and continued next week: * To say the more attention a child gets, the better, is as...
Read More9-Year-Old Does Not Obey Step-Mom
Posted on 1/29/1993
MAN'S STEPDAUGHTER OBEYS HER MOM BETTER: WHY? Q. My 9-year-old stepdaughter, who lives primarily with us, does not obey me as well as she does her mother. How would you suggest I deal with...
Read MoreParent Care vs Day Care - Part 2
Posted on 12/18/1992
Q. I read a recent column of yours in which you said that parent care during the first three years of life is preferable to daycare. I tend to agree, but wouldn't some children be better off in...
Read MoreKeep Priorities Straight
Posted on 9/2/1990
Divide And Conquer When, in a two-parent family, the child becomes the center of attention and the child's relationship with one or both parents consumes more energy than does the parents'...
Read MoreDivorced Mother of 6- and 8-Year-Old is Ready to Date
Posted on 7/1/1990
WHEN A SINGLE PARENT DATES, KIDS CAN ADJUST Q: I am a single parent with two children, ages 8 and 6. I've been divorced for about six months and am ready to start dating but do not have any...
Read MoreSingle Parents Should Pay More Attention to Themselves than Children
Posted on 11/5/1989
PARENTS FIRST, CHILDREN SECOND THAT PIECE OF HERETICAL' ADVICE GOES DOUBLE FOR SINGLE-PARENT FAMILIES Q. I heard you give a talk recently in Baton Rouge, La., in which you said that...
Read More4- and 6-Year-Old Do Not Like Mom's Boyfriend
Posted on 6/5/1988
TELL CHILDREN IT'S NORMAL TO RESENT BOYFRIEND Q: I'm a single mother with two children, ages 6 and 4. Their father and I have been divorced for over a year, and I've been involved in a serious...
Read MoreSingle Parent Issue
Posted on 3/13/1988
Q. I am a single mother with four children. I have heard it said that the best way a man can love his children is to love their mother. I strongly agree, but my children will never see this...
Read More9-Year-Old Complains About Visiting Dad
Posted on 2/1/1987
9-YEAR-OLD MAY WANT MORE TIME WITH HIS FRIENDS Q: I am a divorced, single mother with one child - an active, well- adjusted 9-year-old son. With few exceptions, he spends every weekend,...
Read MoreParents Work Together in Parenting Even Though Divorced
Posted on 10/12/1986
DISCIPLINE SHOULD INVOLVE BOTH PARENTS Q: I am a divorced, single mother. My daughter is 14 years old. Occasionally things come up with which I feel I need my ex-husband's support. In the...
Read More2 Important Considerations with Step-Families
Posted on 4/6/1986
THE MARRIAGE MUST BE PRIMARY IN STEPFAMILY SITUATION Q. I am a single mother with a 9-year-old son. My ex-husband and I divorced when Robbie was 3. Robbie's father sees him on a regular...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Wants to Live with Dad
Posted on 11/17/1985
5YO CUSTODY Q. My husband and I divorced about a year ago. Our daughter, who is 5, sees her daddy every other weekend, on alternating holidays and for three weeks during the summer. They have...
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