John's Articles

Is This Battle Worth It?

Posted on 12/29/2021

Q: I have six-month- and thirty-two-month-old boys. The older one—well-mannered, easy going, very affectionate—attends a preschool program three mornings a week. This is his second year there. ...

Choose 1 of 2 Paths With Kids’ Anxieties

Posted on 11/9/2021

Q: I recently changed my almost 4-year-old son’s preschool. My son, once fearless, has become reluctant to simply get out of the car in the morning and go into the school. There’s always a...

Cure for Kid Who Hits

Posted on 10/26/2021

A 4-year-old – I’ll call him Popeye – had a habit of hitting other children in his preschool program. His teachers tried various approaches, including rewarding him with a treat on days when he...

Advice for Preschool Teachers

Posted on 1/5/2021

Q: I teach 3- and 4-year-olds in a childcare center in Australia. I always have a few difficult children in any group and the book in which you describe Alpha Speech [The Well-Behaved Child] has...

3-year-old Preschool Issues

Posted on 11/10/2015

"Boy" Behavior

Posted on 3/11/2014

Q: My 6-year-old son is a bright and friendly kindergartner. Each day a color coded chart is sent home about his behavior. This year he's gone through several spells during which he will have a...

Preschool Education Programs

Posted on 10/12/2010

Preschool without shame? What a pity The National Association for the Education of Young Children and I don't see eye to eye on many things - maybe anything. We don't even agree on a definition...

4-Year-Old Boy Preschool Education

Posted on 8/17/2010

Many preschools go about it all wrong Q. Our 4-year-old grandson is enrolled in a pre-kindergarten class where all the kids are beginning to learn to read and write. The problem is that he...

5-Year-Old Son - Phonics is the Best Way to Teach Reading

Posted on 7/6/2010

Phonics is best way to begin teaching reading Q: Our son was already registered for junior kindergarten before we became aware that you believe in phonic-based reading instruction. He will be 5...

Kindergartener Questionnaire

Posted on 10/20/2009

KINDERGARTEN QUESTIONNAIRE A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY Q. My kindergartener brought home a questionnaire that asks: Do you like your class? Do you have friends in your class? Does your teacher...

13 - Month - Old Child Having Difficulty Adjusting To Daycare

Posted on 11/20/2007

TAKING BUNNY AWAY ONLY ADDS TO TOT'S FEELINGS OF INSECURITY Q. I work at a day care where a 13-month-old child is having difficulty adjusting. She has a rash around her mouth from constant...

Unstructured Play for Preschoolers is Beneficial

Posted on 3/27/2007

MICROMANAGING YOUR KIDS ROBS THEM OF MANY BENEFITS UNSTRUCTURED PLAY LEADS TO SOCIAL SKILLS Several months back, I answered a question from a parent who was bemoaning that in her community,...

4-Year-Old in Power Struggle with Teacher

Posted on 1/16/2007

4-YEAR-OLD MAY BE TANGLED IN POWER STRUGGLE WITH TEACHER Q: Is it appropriate for a preschool teacher to punish a somewhat shy 4-year-old child for not singing during the music lesson? My...

3-Year-Old Going to Preschool

Posted on 1/2/2007

TODDLERS WHO DON'T GO TO PRESCHOOL UNLIKELY TO FALL BEHIND THEIR PEERS Q: At what age do you think children should start going to preschool? My son is going on 3, and he is home with me. I...

3-Year-Old and Day Care Issues

Posted on 12/20/2005

FATHER LEARNS LESSON ABOUT DAY CARE The father titled his letter "You Can't Tell a Day Care By Its Cover." It told a story that has become all-too familiar over the past few years. The dad...

5-Year-Old Friendship Drama

Posted on 6/7/2005

WHEN PRESCHOOL IMITATES REALITY TV Q: At my 5-year-old daughter's preschool, several girls, including my daughter, have been competing with one another for one specific girl's friendship. It...

4-Year-Old Transitioning to Pre-K Program

Posted on 5/24/2005

Be confident in your decision Q: We recently moved our 4-year-old daughter to a new pre-K program. The first couple of weeks were fine, but now she cries and doesn't want to go. She attends...

Teaching Academics to Toddlers is Worthless

Posted on 9/7/2004

<b>Q: All of the moms in my mother's morning out group are purchasing academic "jump start" programs for their toddlers, some of whom are barely 2. What do you think of this trend, and if I don't...

4-Year-Old Constantly Asking Questions

Posted on 7/20/2004

TEACH CHILD WHEN NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS FINDING OWN ANSWERS IS IMPORTANT STEP IN LEARNING HOW TO THINK Q: I am a teacher of 4-year-olds in a private pre-K program. In my college child...

4-Year-Old Cries When Dropped Off at Preschool

Posted on 5/25/2004

DON'T OVERREACT TO CHILD'S CRYING JAG Q: My best friend's 4-year-old daughter is currently in her third year at the same half-day preschool. The first two years were fine, but she has lately...

2 1/2-Year-Old Becomes Aggressive After Mom Starts Daycare

Posted on 2/24/2004

Q: My son will be 2 1/2 next month. I recently started a family day care at my home. I took in a 3-year-old boy and a 16-month-old girl. My son is not handling this change well. He has become...

42-Month-Old Having Meltdowns at Preschool

Posted on 11/18/2003

TIME-OUTS CAN MAKE LASTING IMPRESSION Q: Our 42-month-old son is in a mornings-only preschool. He was in the same church program last year and had lots of "meltdowns," usually during group...

32-Month-Old is Defiant and Disrespectful at Preschool

Posted on 12/24/2002

Q: I am the mother of two boys: 6 months and 32 months. The difficulty is with the latter. This well-mannered, easy-going, very loving child is having trouble at Mother's Morning Out. This is...

"Jump-Start" Programs are Worthless

Posted on 10/29/2002

MANNERS FIRST, THEN MOUSE PADS Q: What is your opinion of the spate of computer-driven academic "jump start" programs for children as young as 3, if not younger? All of the mothers in my...

3- and 4-Year-Old Refuse to Leave Preschool Class with Mom

Posted on 2/19/2002

SURPRISE CONSEQUENCES CAN CURE CHILDREN'S MISBEHAVIOR A mom recently asked me for advice concerning a discipline problem that had had a small beginning, but was getting completely out of hand....

Mom Worried about 4-Year-Old Preschool Anxiety

Posted on 10/9/2001

DON'T FEED CHILD'S PRESCHOOL ANXIETY Q: For purposes of convenience, I recently changed my 4-year-old son's preschool program. The new program is as highly rated and well staffed as the...

Mom-Care is Generally Better Than Daycare

Posted on 5/22/2001

CLOSED MINDS SHUT OUT VITAL RESEARCH ON DAY CARE We live in the postmodern age, which is characterized by a rampant anti-intellectualism. It matters not, for example, that objective evidence...

4-Year-Old Wants Mom to Quit Working - Part 1

Posted on 7/18/2000

WHAT DO YOU TELL A CHILD WHO BEGS YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB? Q. Of the 40 mothers represented in my 4-year-old son's pre-K program, I am one of only three who work outside the home. I do so not for...

Day Care Issues

Posted on 7/11/2000

SCHLESSINGER TAKES OVERLY HARSH STAND ON DAY CARE It was, I suppose, inevitable that people, journalists included, would ask me what I think about the position on children and day care that...

4-Year-Old Hitting Others

Posted on 6/13/2000

4-YEAR-OLD WHO HITS OTHER KIDS NEEDS IMPULSE SENT TO HIS ROOM Here's an interesting tale: A 4-year-old - I'll call him Bluto - has a habit of hitting other children in his preschool program....

Mom Worried That 3-Year-Old Is Not Prepared for Preschool

Posted on 7/28/1998

PRESCHOOLERS NEED SOCIAL SKILLS, BUT NOT SOCIAL STUDIES Q. My friends and I both have 3-year-old boys who will enter 4-year-old kindergarten this fall. I'm concerned because her son knows how...

Day Care Update

Posted on 3/31/1998

UPDATE ON DAY CARE: IT'S STILL NOT AS HEALTHY AS ADVERTISED Five years ago, I wrote a series of columns in which I contended that group day care is disadvantageous for children under age 3....

Single Most Important Thing a Preschool Child Can Learn

Posted on 3/17/1998

ABOVE ALL, YOUR KINDERGARTNER SHOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH TIME Many school systems across America send parents of upcoming kindergarten students a laundry list of things those children are...

Mom of 4-Year-Old Agonizes Over Academics

Posted on 2/24/1998

LEAVE IT UP TO YOUR CHILD TO LEARN FROM EITHER TEACHER Q. I work daily with my very active 4-year-old, trying to get him started in reading, but he doesn't show any real interest. Furthermore,...

Thoughts on Day Care, Computer, and TV

Posted on 7/29/1997

THUMBS DOWN ON COMPUTERS AND TV; DAY CARE IS LESS CLEAR A few thoughts on computers, day care and television that came to mind on a serene spring afternoon as I sat watching clouds do...

Parent Care vs Day Care - Part 4

Posted on 7/2/1993

ONCE AGAIN, LISTEN UP: CARING FOR CHILD AT HOME IS BETTER THAN DAY CARE Jennifer Mitchell, a columnist for the Des Moines (Iowa) Register, recently took me to task for saying that at-home...

Delaying Entrance Into Kindergarten for Children with Summer Birthdays

Posted on 4/2/1993

Q. What do you think about delayed entrance into kindergarten for so- called "summer children?" This practice has caught on in our school system, and officials are now making the...

Parent Care vs Day Care - Part 3

Posted on 3/19/1993

OUTRAGE OVER CHILD-CARE COLUMN POINTS TO THE REAL PROBLEM: DECLINE OF FAMILY In a feature article and two separate editorials, The Des Moines Register has taken me to task for a column in...

Parent Care vs Day Care - Part 2

Posted on 12/18/1992

Q. I read a recent column of yours in which you said that parent care during the first three years of life is preferable to daycare. I tend to agree, but wouldn't some children be better off in...

Parent Care vs Day Care - Part 1

Posted on 12/4/1992

STAYING AT HOME ENCOURAGES INDEPENDENCE IN TODDLER I recently wrote that parent care during the first three years of life is highly preferable, in most cases, to day care. A number of folks...

Delaying Kindergarten for Summer Birthday Children

Posted on 3/25/1990

DELAYING KINDERGARTEN FOR LATE-BIRTHDAY CHILDREN IS COMMON Q. Most of the psychologists and pediatricians in our community are advising parents of children who turn 5 after June 1 to delay by...

Parent of 3-Month-Old Looking for Good Daycare

Posted on 9/17/1989

WANTED: DAY CARE THAT WORKS Q. Being the mother of 3-month-old girl, I read your recent article on infant day care with interest. My leave of absence from my job is almost over, and I've been...

Mom Torn About Returning to Work After Having Baby

Posted on 8/13/1989

FAMILY DAY CARE SETTING IS BEST FOR INFANTS Q. I took a leave of absence from my job to have my first baby and be totally available to her for the first three months of her life. Now people...

Preschoolers Do Not Need to Know ABCs (Also Dyslexia Question)

Posted on 7/17/1988

PRESCHOOLERS ARE NOT READY TO LEARN TO WRITE ALPHABET I was talking recently with the parents of a boy who attends a preschool program for 4-year-olds where they've been teaching him to write...

No Need to Emphasize Academics with Preschoolers

Posted on 3/27/1988

PRESCHOOLERS NEEDN'T LEARN ABC'S, READING I do a workshop titled, "Helping Your Child Succeed in School." At one point, I ask my audience the following question: "How many of you knew the...

5-Year-Old Homework Issue

Posted on 2/21/1988

5-YEAR-OLD FRETS OVER KINDERGARTEN HOMEWORK Q. My daughter's kindergarten teacher recently started assigning homework. It really doesn't amount to much - just to practice forming letters and...

Day-Care Spanking

Posted on 12/26/1986

I'M AGAINST DAY-CARE SPANKING Joseph Chambers wrote a column that appeared on this page Oct. 1 under the headline "I'd Go To Jail Over Right To Spank." Obviously, the Rev. Chambers believes...

Critical Period for Introducing Reading Instruction is from Ages 6 to 8

Posted on 5/25/1986

READING EARLY HAS NO VALUE TO KIDS As I have expressed before in this column, I have a problem with preschool children attending formal learn-to-read programs. Simply stated, they aren't...

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