"Give your children regular doses of Vitamin "N," as in "No." "

John's Articles

Search All Articles

Common Sense Comes From Heart, Not Head

Posted today

Q: I’m new to reading you, but it appears that you don’t have much in common with other psychologists. You don’t agree much with their approach to children and parenting. Correct? A: ...

Read More

Punishment Driven by Emotion Accomplishes Nothing

Posted 1 week ago

Q: Your recent series on punishment was thought-provoking. I agree children should have consequences when they misbehave. Nonetheless, would you please clarify when punishment becomes excessive?...

Read More

Father's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed

Posted 1 week ago

Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...

Read More

Punishing Children for Bad Behavior Is Not Bad Parenting

Posted 3 weeks ago

This is the last (for a while, anyway) of three columns in which I take on the absurd notion that punishing children for bad behavior is bad parenting. There is commonsense and there is nonsense...

Read More

Punishment Does Not Cause Mental Health Issues

Posted 4 weeks ago

This is the second in a series on “parent-babble,” as in the same-old, same-old nonsense the mental health industry has been passing off as sound parenting advice since the late 1960s. ...

Read More

15 New Year's Resolutions for Parents

Posted 4 weeks ago

<b>Given that the new year is upon us, I'm proposing a number of parenting resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means comprehensive. It's just a good beginning on what is...

Read More

Resolutions to Make Your Family Stronger

Posted 4 weeks ago

<i><b>What makes a family strong? Not money or material things, but that ineffable thing called love. Love is both expressed and strengthened when a family does things together, things that create...

Read More

Mindful Parenting Is Nothing More Than Postmodern Psychobabble

Posted on 12/24/2019

I am often asked how long I intend to keep this up, as in writing this column, writing books, and speaking on childrearing and family matters. My answer: As long as they keep it up; “it” being the...

Read More

Mr. Rogers Epitomized Adult Who Wants to Be Friend to Children

Posted on 12/17/2019

With the release of “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” inquiring minds want to know: What did I think of Mr. Rogers? I never met the man, but in the early days of my...

Read More

Maternabling is Destructive to Parent-Child Relationship

Posted on 12/10/2019

“You’ve accused mothers of being in co-dependent relationships with their children,” she (a journalist) said, then asked, “What is co-dependency, exactly, and how does it apply to today’s...

Read More

Tame Child's Disruptive Behavior at Holiday Get-Togethers

Posted on 12/3/2019

Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s...

Read More

It Is Not Necessary to Help Your Child With Homework

Posted on 11/26/2019

After a recent talk in South Florida, women came up to me in droves asking, “How much should I help my children with their schoolwork?” That not one man asked the question...

Read More

In Today's Parenting, Feelings Trump the Truth

Posted on 11/19/2019

Okay, it’s time to set the record straight, confront the gorilla in the proverbial room, call a spade a spade, and so on and so forth. I recently published a column on “The...

Read More

Children Need Love and Discipline to Thrive

Posted on 11/12/2019

The myth of the first three years has it that whatever habits, traits, dysfunctions and so on that a child develops during this admittedly formative period are going to stay with him for life....

Read More

Children Do Best in School When Parents Do Not Monitor Progress

Posted on 10/29/2019

The Portal. It sounds like something out of a science fiction novel, the gateway to an alternative universe that lures, then traps the unwary in its nefarious web of illusion, where things are...

Read More

Playing War Games Not Unusual for Young Boys

Posted on 10/22/2019

Q: My normally happy 6-year-old son has recently started incorporating death and war-like games into his imaginative play. He isn't and has never been a mean-spirited child, but his dad and I just...

Read More

"The Doctor" Is the Tool Every Parent Needs

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have good news for parents: You do not need more than a few tools in your disciplinary tool-bag. One especially valuable tool, one that belongs in every modern home, is the “Doctor.” The Doctor...

Read More

It's Okay to Let Babies Cry

Posted on 10/8/2019

“What do you do when your baby cries?” I asked the 20-something new mom who was already feeling overwhelmed and beginning to slip into post-partum depression. Her mother-in-law had suggested she...

Read More

Teenage Girls and Boys Respond to Technology Differently

Posted on 10/2/2019

Q: We held off giving our oldest daughter a smartphone until she was fifteen, the age at which we allowed her older brother to have one. We read your column weekly in our hometown newspaper and...

Read More

Replace Psychological With Old Fashioned Parenting

Posted on 9/24/2019

As my regular readers know, I am a certified heretic in my field: child and family psychology. To the point, I am convinced that psychological parenting theory, which began to inform American...

Read More

The Six C's of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child

Posted on 9/20/2019

The term "strong-willed child" has embedded itself in our vernacular to mean a child who wants to be at the center of everyone's attention, is highly demanding (and won't take "no" for an answer),...

Read More

What's in a Name?

Posted on 9/17/2019

Q: I want to legally change our daughter’s name. No one pronounces it correctly and I think it’s going to cause her more problems as she gets older. My husband doesn’t want to, however. He says...

Read More

Co-Sleeping Is Detrimental to Marriage

Posted on 9/11/2019

A New York writer named Jonathan Daniel Stern, writing in the August 7, 2019, issue of the e-zine “Fatherly,” laments that co-sleeping has destroyed his marriage. As best as I can figure, Stern...

Read More

A Trophy Child Is Not a Happy Child

Posted on 9/4/2019

Proving, once again, that fact is stranger by far than fiction, a grandmother recently asked me what she should do about her daughter-in-law who, despite her husband’s increasingly meek...

Read More

Methylphenidates for ADHD Affect Brain Function

Posted on 8/27/2019

I’ve always promised myself that this column would never get “academic,” but I see no choice with respect to the issue at hand, so here goes…as simple as I can make it. ...

Read More

Loving Parents Who Set Boundaries Best for Adopted Kids

Posted on 8/21/2019

Q: A Christian (but very liberal) adoption agency recently turned down our application because they disapprove of our parenting approach, which is your parenting approach. We told them we...

Read More

Today's Parents Afraid Kids Won't Like Them

Posted on 8/13/2019

Short questions I’ve been asked of late (mostly by journalists) and proportionately short answers: Q: Is there a single most important thing parents should be teaching during their children’s...

Read More

Alpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Posted on 8/6/2019

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...

Read More

Teach Child to Gain Control of Feelings

Posted on 7/30/2019

As I crisscross the country in public speaker mode, I poll people in various demographic categories. I ask how they were raised, what their parents were like, how their parents disciplined, how...

Read More

Teen Not a Suicide Risk

Posted on 7/23/2019

My recent column pertaining to a 12-year-old who told his parents he’d thought about suicide several times over the past six months stirred a fair number of folks to respond. Feelings toward the...

Read More

How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

Read More

Autism in Its Classical Form Is Very Real

Posted on 7/9/2019

I am perennially asked whether I do or do not “believe” in autism. I suspect that on most occasions, it’s a test. Nonetheless, it’s a fair question that usually takes this form: “I know you don’t...

Read More

The Most Powerful Love Is Tough Love

Posted on 7/2/2019

Q: On several occasions over the last six months or so, our 12-year-old son has told us he’s been thinking about suicide. Apparently, he’s been the target of a couple of school bullies and...

Read More

Family Is Family, No Matter the Prefix

Posted on 6/25/2019

Q: We have two married daughters, one of whom is adopted. The biological daughter has two children who, we recently discovered, have been told that it is wrong to call our adopted daughter “aunt...

Read More

The Definition of Bullying Has Been 'Dumbed Down'

Posted on 6/18/2019

Q: Our son is 13 years old and in the 7th grade. Last week he came home from school complaining about how a few of his friends have been bullying him. These same boys were at his birthday party...

Read More

Boys Need Fathers, Not Friends

Posted on 6/14/2019

I recently spent some time with a friend who has three children. My buddy is a college-educated responsible guy who has never failed to do right by his family. He's masculine but not macho,...

Read More

Take Wait-And-See Attitude With Teen's Friend Choice

Posted on 6/11/2019

Q: Our 14-year-old (he’s going into the ninth grade at a public high school) has taken up with a bunch of kids that we don’t exactly approve of. They have reputations as troublemakers and at...

Read More

Fathers as Important to Parenting as Mothers

Posted on 6/9/2019

I am the father to two grown children, so I know a few things about fatherhood. I know, for instance, that fathers are just as important as mothers to the raising of children. I also know fathers...

Read More

Emancipation of Adult Children Can Be Messy

Posted on 6/4/2019

When children were raised, reared, or simply brought up, they emancipated “on time.” Upon high school graduation, children went to college, into the military, or became employed. Some, like my...

Read More

Science Doesn't Have All the Answers When It Comes to Raising Children

Posted on 5/28/2019

Q: I appreciate your traditional, call it old-fashioned approach to child rearing, but I’m a tad confused and hope you can help straighten out my thinking. I’ve been reading your column for maybe...

Read More

We're Living in a Child's World

Posted on 5/21/2019

Concerning major behavior problems, parents often tell me they’ve “tried everything.” In more than forty years of doing this “parenting expert” gig, I’ve never run across a parent who was telling...

Read More

Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

Read More

What Constitutes a Good Mother?

Posted on 5/8/2019

With Mother's Day upon us, I’m going to talk about mothers—one in particular. To begin with, assuming one believes his or her mother is worthy of admiration, then said esteem ought...

Read More

Grandparents Are the Glue That Bonds the Family

Posted on 5/7/2019

“When are you going to write a book on grandparenting?” is a question asked of me by lots of folks, most of whom – no surprise here – are grandparents. My stock answer: “I...

Read More

Freedom Lost on the Children of Today

Posted on 4/30/2019

My wife and I spent two days in my hometown of Charleston, South Carolina, recently. As we always do, we walked around my boyhood neighborhood – the South-of-Broad historic district (back then,...

Read More

Child Raising vs Parenting

Posted on 4/23/2019

There is child raising and there is “parenting.” America replaced the former with the latter in the 1970s and it’s been downhill ever since. My mother – a single parent during...

Read More

Parenting in an Age of Technology: Video Game Addiction

Posted on 4/16/2019

Julie Jargon is a reporter with the Wall Street Journal. Heretofore, she has written about food companies like Starbucks and McDonalds. As of April 2, however, Ms. Jargon is writing a WSJ column...

Read More

Key to Effective Discipline Is Right Attitude

Posted on 4/9/2019

“We’ve tried everything!” is one of the more common testimonials I hear from parents who’ve just described persistent and highly vexing discipline problems with a child or children. ...

Read More

Confronting 'Biochemical Imbalance' in Children

Posted on 4/2/2019

The Wall Street Journal recently (3/16/2019) printed a letter-to-the-editor in which Upland, California psychiatrist/psychoanalyst Charlene Moskovitz promotes the alleged benefits of medication...

Read More

College Bribery Scandal: Cheating Is Never Acceptable

Posted on 3/26/2019

To the many readers who recently asked: Yes, I do take requests, and yes, I will riff on the Perpetually Beautiful People Who Laid Out Mega-Bribes to Guarantee That Their Beautiful and...

Read More

Showing results 1-50 on page 1 of 39.