"A father's contribution to his children is primarily a measure of how much he adores their mother. "

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Forgive Today's Parents, for They Know Not What They Do

Posted 1 week ago

I recently received a paean to my generation – the so-called “boomers” – that has been circulating on the Internet for some time now. It recalls and celebrates the freedom we enjoyed as children...

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How to Prevent the Terrible Twos From Becoming the Terrifying Threes

Posted 2 weeks ago

One of my books, “Making the ‘Terrible’ Twos Terrific!”, has recently become a best-seller in China, of all places. Seriously! What sorts of problems are Chinese parents having with their...

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Here's a Real Head Banger Issue

Posted 3 weeks ago

Q: When my two-year-old gets angry, he sometimes gets down and bangs his head on the floor. This happens two or three times a week, generally speaking. He’s not bruised himself, yet, but I don’t...

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Are Parents Responsible for the How Their Kids Turn Out?

Posted 4 weeks ago

Are parents responsible for the sort of people their children become? That’s this week’s question, and the answer is no, albeit equivocally. Several parents have recently written me...

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Is There a Child and Teen Mental Health Crisis?

Posted on 6/30/2020

I have long maintained that the significant per-capita increase in child and adolescent mental health problems since the 1960s – a ten-fold increase in suicide, for example – is due to the...

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Don’t Jump Down the ADHD Rabbit Hole With 8-Year-Old

Posted on 6/23/2020

Q: Our son, age 8, has been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. His IQ is well above average but his actual performance in the classroom is problematic. He has difficulty paying attention...

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Some Benchmarks on Toilet Training

Posted on 6/9/2020

“There’s no one-size-fits-all model of childrearing for all the world’s parents,” opines Alma Gottlieb, Professor Emerita of Anthropology at the University of Illinois. Gottlieb was quoted in an...

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The Greatest and Most Painful of Gifts

Posted on 6/2/2020

In 1972, a Stanford University psychologist conducted a study in which young children, individually, were offered either a small but immediate reward (a marshmallow or a pretzel) or a doubled...

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Appreciate the Odd Among Us

Posted on 5/26/2020

I have come up with a new psychological diagnosis, one that I won’t, however, be submitting for approval to the powers that be: simply, odd. My “odd” is to be distinguished from ODD, the acronym...

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The Value of a Reward

Posted on 5/19/2020

Psychologist B. F. Skinner, the formulator of behavior modification theory, was attempting to prove that the same principles that govern the behavior of amoeba, planaria, rats, dogs, and monkeys...

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‘Good Mommy Club’ Does No Favors for Kids

Posted on 5/12/2020

The biggest problem in the life of today’s all-too typical mother is herself. She is her own worst enemy. Them’s fightin’ words, I know, but please, hold the tomatoes and other vegetables and bear...

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Why Small Classrooms Are Overrated

Posted on 5/5/2020

No rational person would argue that the smaller the class size, the better, right?” asked the radio talk show host. “I think I’m a rational person,” I said, “and I can offer proof...

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In Defense of Homeschooling

Posted on 4/28/2020

In his November 1863 address at Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that the men who lost their lives on that battlefield had done so in order that “government of the people, by the people and...

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What to Do About an Aggressive 3-Year-Old

Posted on 4/21/2020

Q: My three-year-old son tends to react physically when he's mad at a preschool classmate instead of talking it out and letting the teachers intervene. We have encouraged him to use words when...

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Keep It Simple With Your Kids During Quarantine

Posted on 4/14/2020

One website is titled “How to Cope with Kids During Coronavirus.” Another, featuring a staged photo of an obviously frazzled mom with a toddler on her lap, tells the reader that “Parents are...

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The Problem With 'Parenting'

Posted on 4/7/2020

I am convinced that “parenting” causes otherwise rational people – people whose thought processes are not typically driven by emotion – to lose their minds. If that is not the case, then why, ever...

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More on Picky Eaters

Posted on 3/31/2020

Per the old Chinese saying, “May you live in interesting times,” it may be that the most interesting of times are those when people do not want to hear the truth – as in the present, or so it...

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Keep Calm and Carry On

Posted on 3/24/2020

Vital to a child’s sense of well-being are parents who act competent to provide adequate provision and protection under any and all circumstances. I often refer to that obligation...

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The Cure for Picky Eating Is Not Therapy

Posted on 3/17/2020

Blaise Pascal (1623 – 1662) said there is no idea so bizarre that a philosopher has not advanced it. These days, the philosophers in question are psychologists and the bizarre ideas are their...

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Proper Discipline of a Child Is an Act of Love for One’s Neighbor

Posted on 3/10/2020

I’ve learned a new word! My daughter informs me that according to some mothers I am guilty of “mom-shaming” and should be ashamed of myself. I am an unashamed mom-shamer because I happen to...

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School Anti-Bullying Policies Are a Farce

Posted on 3/3/2020

Q: We homeschooled our son through the sixth grade. This past fall, per his wishes, we sent him to a public school for the seventh grade. Last week, he was attacked by the class bully. This...

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When It Comes to Phases, Don't Make Mountains out of Molehills

Posted on 2/25/2020

Q: Our daughter, our first and only, is just short of three-and-one-half. She has recently started coming into our room in the middle of the night and making a request of one sort or another. She...

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The Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 3

Posted on 2/19/2020

This concludes my three-part series on the Ten Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and how to stop making them!). For the first two columns in the series, go to johnrosemond.com. The mistakes covered...

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The Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 2

Posted on 2/11/2020

This is the second in a series of three columns on the Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!). Last week, I identified giving children explanations for parental instructions,...

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The Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 1

Posted on 2/4/2020

One of the “secrets” to a happy, healthy emotional life is to identify one’s bad, nonproductive habits and replace them with habits – slowly built – that are functional. That same principle is of...

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Common Sense Comes From Heart, Not Head

Posted on 1/28/2020

Q: I’m new to reading you, but it appears that you don’t have much in common with other psychologists. You don’t agree much with their approach to children and parenting. Correct? A: ...

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Punishment Driven by Emotion Accomplishes Nothing

Posted on 1/21/2020

Q: Your recent series on punishment was thought-provoking. I agree children should have consequences when they misbehave. Nonetheless, would you please clarify when punishment becomes excessive?...

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Father's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed

Posted on 1/15/2020

Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...

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Punishing Children for Bad Behavior Is Not Bad Parenting

Posted on 1/7/2020

This is the last (for a while, anyway) of three columns in which I take on the absurd notion that punishing children for bad behavior is bad parenting. There is commonsense and there is nonsense...

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Punishment Does Not Cause Mental Health Issues

Posted on 12/31/2019

This is the second in a series on “parent-babble,” as in the same-old, same-old nonsense the mental health industry has been passing off as sound parenting advice since the late 1960s. ...

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15 New Year's Resolutions for Parents

Posted on 12/30/2019

<b>Given that the new year is upon us, I'm proposing a number of parenting resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means comprehensive. It's just a good beginning on what is...

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Resolutions to Make Your Family Stronger

Posted on 12/29/2019

<i><b>What makes a family strong? Not money or material things, but that ineffable thing called love. Love is both expressed and strengthened when a family does things together, things that create...

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Mindful Parenting Is Nothing More Than Postmodern Psychobabble

Posted on 12/24/2019

I am often asked how long I intend to keep this up, as in writing this column, writing books, and speaking on childrearing and family matters. My answer: As long as they keep it up; “it” being the...

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Mr. Rogers Epitomized Adult Who Wants to Be Friend to Children

Posted on 12/17/2019

With the release of “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” inquiring minds want to know: What did I think of Mr. Rogers? I never met the man, but in the early days of my...

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Maternabling is Destructive to Parent-Child Relationship

Posted on 12/10/2019

“You’ve accused mothers of being in co-dependent relationships with their children,” she (a journalist) said, then asked, “What is co-dependency, exactly, and how does it apply to today’s...

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Tame Child's Disruptive Behavior at Holiday Get-Togethers

Posted on 12/3/2019

Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s...

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It Is Not Necessary to Help Your Child With Homework

Posted on 11/26/2019

After a recent talk in South Florida, women came up to me in droves asking, “How much should I help my children with their schoolwork?” That not one man asked the question...

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In Today's Parenting, Feelings Trump the Truth

Posted on 11/19/2019

Okay, it’s time to set the record straight, confront the gorilla in the proverbial room, call a spade a spade, and so on and so forth. I recently published a column on “The...

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Children Need Love and Discipline to Thrive

Posted on 11/12/2019

The myth of the first three years has it that whatever habits, traits, dysfunctions and so on that a child develops during this admittedly formative period are going to stay with him for life....

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Children Do Best in School When Parents Do Not Monitor Progress

Posted on 10/29/2019

The Portal. It sounds like something out of a science fiction novel, the gateway to an alternative universe that lures, then traps the unwary in its nefarious web of illusion, where things are...

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Playing War Games Not Unusual for Young Boys

Posted on 10/22/2019

Q: My normally happy 6-year-old son has recently started incorporating death and war-like games into his imaginative play. He isn't and has never been a mean-spirited child, but his dad and I just...

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"The Doctor" Is the Tool Every Parent Needs

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have good news for parents: You do not need more than a few tools in your disciplinary tool-bag. One especially valuable tool, one that belongs in every modern home, is the “Doctor.” The Doctor...

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It's Okay to Let Babies Cry

Posted on 10/8/2019

“What do you do when your baby cries?” I asked the 20-something new mom who was already feeling overwhelmed and beginning to slip into post-partum depression. Her mother-in-law had suggested she...

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Teenage Girls and Boys Respond to Technology Differently

Posted on 10/2/2019

Q: We held off giving our oldest daughter a smartphone until she was fifteen, the age at which we allowed her older brother to have one. We read your column weekly in our hometown newspaper and...

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Replace Psychological With Old Fashioned Parenting

Posted on 9/24/2019

As my regular readers know, I am a certified heretic in my field: child and family psychology. To the point, I am convinced that psychological parenting theory, which began to inform American...

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The Six C's of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child

Posted on 9/20/2019

The term "strong-willed child" has embedded itself in our vernacular to mean a child who wants to be at the center of everyone's attention, is highly demanding (and won't take "no" for an answer),...

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What's in a Name?

Posted on 9/17/2019

Q: I want to legally change our daughter’s name. No one pronounces it correctly and I think it’s going to cause her more problems as she gets older. My husband doesn’t want to, however. He says...

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Co-Sleeping Is Detrimental to Marriage

Posted on 9/11/2019

A New York writer named Jonathan Daniel Stern, writing in the August 7, 2019, issue of the e-zine “Fatherly,” laments that co-sleeping has destroyed his marriage. As best as I can figure, Stern...

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A Trophy Child Is Not a Happy Child

Posted on 9/4/2019

Proving, once again, that fact is stranger by far than fiction, a grandmother recently asked me what she should do about her daughter-in-law who, despite her husband’s increasingly meek...

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Methylphenidates for ADHD Affect Brain Function

Posted on 8/27/2019

I’ve always promised myself that this column would never get “academic,” but I see no choice with respect to the issue at hand, so here goes…as simple as I can make it. ...

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