John's Articles
Resolutions for a New School Year
Posted on 8/16/2023
With a new school year upon us, it might be wise for parents of school-age children to make some resolutions, as in promises to themselves to change certain behaviors, avoid certain pitfalls,...
Read MoreThe Blessing of Being Unpopular
Posted on 8/16/2023
When my daughter Amy entered middle school, she looked two to three years younger than most of her female peers. That was a blessing to me, of course, but from Amy's perspective, it was a curse....
Read MoreSchool Principal Asks About Discipline
Posted on 10/25/2022
Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...
Read MoreWhen It Comes to Your Child’s Education, You Know Better Than Them
Posted on 9/14/2022
Q: I have homeschooled my seventh-grade daughter on and off through elementary school. This school year, I began homeschooling her, but she’s now telling me she wants to go to “real”...
Read MoreHomeschool Discipline Problems
Posted on 9/6/2022
Q: Ever since toddlerhood, we have had significant behavior problems with our 6-year-old son—defiance and general disrespect, mostly. We have tried various disciplinary approaches with...
Read MoreChild Mental Health Therapy: Any Proof It Does Any Good?
Posted on 8/30/2022
In a 6 – 3 decision, the Killingly, CT, school board recently said “no” to establishing a mental health center at its high school. I imagine most folks, upon hearing that, would be dismayed,...
Read MoreShould I Tell My Best Friend to Discipline Her Bratty, Bossy Daughter?
Posted on 5/17/2022
Q: My best friend’s 6-year-old daughter is an only child and a spoiled brat. She screams at her parents when she doesn’t get her way, always wants to be first at everything and is extremely bossy...
Read MoreDiscipline Differences Between Divorced Parents
Posted on 5/10/2022
Q: We see my husband's 9-year-old son every other weekend and two weeks in the summer. He has major issues in school with both behavior and doing his work. He's well behaved when he's with us, but...
Read MoreParents Should Trust Teachers About Children
Posted on 4/5/2022
If the following testimony, received from a thirty-eight year veteran of the teacher wars, was a one-off, it could be dismissed, but the sad, sad truth is that it is but one of hundreds of such...
Read MoreIs This Battle Worth It?
Posted on 12/29/2021
Q: I have six-month- and thirty-two-month-old boys. The older one—well-mannered, easy going, very affectionate—attends a preschool program three mornings a week. This is his second year there. ...
Read MoreChoose 1 of 2 Paths With Kids’ Anxieties
Posted on 11/9/2021
Q: I recently changed my almost 4-year-old son’s preschool. My son, once fearless, has become reluctant to simply get out of the car in the morning and go into the school. There’s always a...
Read MoreCure for Kid Who Hits
Posted on 10/26/2021
A 4-year-old – I’ll call him Popeye – had a habit of hitting other children in his preschool program. His teachers tried various approaches, including rewarding him with a treat on days when he...
Read MoreJust 'Stop It!'
Posted on 10/12/2021
I often find myself telling parents that they need to stop doing something that is counterproductive and, in most cases, contributing significantly to whatever parenting problem is bedeviling...
Read MoreShould Son Switch Schools?
Posted on 10/5/2021
Q: Our 13-year-old eighth-grader says he doesn’t like the small private school he attends and wants us to put him in public high school next year. His grades are fine, he’s got several close...
Read MoreHow To Help Your Child Get More Grit
Posted on 9/7/2021
It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...
Read MoreThe Biggest Problem Teachers Face Is Parents
Posted on 7/13/2021
When I ask a teacher, “What is the biggest problem you face?” the answer – there has never been an exception – is “parents.” That is certainly a recent phenomenon. My parents were...
Read MoreMom, Stop Checking Kid’s Homework
Posted on 4/6/2021
Many times have I warned parents of the pitfalls of micromanaging their children’s academic responsibilities lest said children deduce that the responsibilities in question are not theirs at all...
Read MoreEar Infections and Misbehavior; Boundaries for Boys
Posted on 3/23/2021
Q: My three-year-old is prone to ear infections. When he has one, his behavior deteriorates considerably. He becomes disobedient and given to angry outbursts. When his ears are clear, he’s...
Read MoreWhat Is COVID Parenting?
Posted on 3/2/2021
What, pray tell, is COVID parenting? I need to know because over the past few months, several journalists have asked if I have any COVID-parenting suggestions. I went online and, sure enough, a...
Read MoreMicromanaging Child Always Produces Conflicts
Posted on 2/23/2021
A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...
Read MoreBeware of 'The Protocol'
Posted on 12/29/2020
Q: Our son is seven years old and in the second grade. His school went virtual this past Spring and we see no end to it, not in the near term at least. When he was going to a brick-and-mortar...
Read MoreTime to Shake Things up When It Comes to Your Child's Education
Posted on 8/11/2020
Q: Our nine-year-old has just learned he is not going back to school on schedule in the fall. Instead, he will be doing distance learning by computer and home instruction. We had to do this for...
Read MoreWhy Small Classrooms Are Overrated
Posted on 5/5/2020
No rational person would argue that the smaller the class size, the better, right?” asked the radio talk show host. “I think I’m a rational person,” I said, “and I can offer proof...
Read MoreIt Is Not Necessary to Help Your Child With Homework
Posted on 11/26/2019
After a recent talk in South Florida, women came up to me in droves asking, “How much should I help my children with their schoolwork?” That not one man asked the question...
Read MoreIn Today's Parenting, Feelings Trump the Truth
Posted on 11/19/2019
Okay, it’s time to set the record straight, confront the gorilla in the proverbial room, call a spade a spade, and so on and so forth. I recently published a column on “The...
Read MoreChildren Do Best in School When Parents Do Not Monitor Progress
Posted on 10/29/2019
The Portal. It sounds like something out of a science fiction novel, the gateway to an alternative universe that lures, then traps the unwary in its nefarious web of illusion, where things are...
Read MoreSchool Discipline in Steady Decline
Posted on 2/12/2019
I receive a steady stream of missives from teachers, ex-teachers, and other folks who have insider knowledge of America’s schools. They all say the same thing – classroom discipline is falling...
Read MorePublic Education Myths and Facts
Posted on 2/6/2019
As regards nearly every public policy topic these days, myths abound, but few mythologies rival that of public education. A sample: <b>Myth: Smaller classrooms promote better...
Read More9-Year-Old Daughter Says She Doesn't Like School
Posted on 11/28/2018
Q: Our 9-year-old daughter recently announced to us that she doesn’t like school, doesn’t want to go, and doesn’t want to do the work. We’ve been unable to get a coherent reason out of her and...
Read MoreDeterminism Muddies Parental Judgement
Posted on 10/24/2018
As the current school year kicked off, I began hearing the same-old, same-old report from teachers and principals: children who have never lied. At least, that is what the parents of said children...
Read MoreWhat's a Young Teacher to Do About Discipline?
Posted on 9/4/2018
As another school year begins, one of many pertinent questions is “Has the per child or per-teacher (it doesn’t matter) rate of verbal and emotional abuse by teachers on students increased...
Read MoreThe Great Pre-K Debate
Posted on 8/28/2018
It has long been known, but only spoken of in hushed tones by university professors sitting in darkened rooms wearing Fat Elvis masks, that pre-Kindergarten “jump-start” (aka, “push-down”)...
Read MoreParents of Unmotivated Teen Should Stop Stressing
Posted on 4/25/2018
Q: Our 17-year-old son is flunking his junior year in high school. Flunking is not a possibility; it is a definite, a done deal. He has passed the point where he could turn this around. He’s very...
Read MoreDon’t Go Down the Road of ADHD Testing
Posted on 4/17/2018
Q: Our son, age 8, did fine in school in first grade, but has struggled in second. We’ve taken your advice and not helped much with his homework other than occasional and brief “consultations.”...
Read MoreWeighing the Options of Repeating Kindergarten
Posted on 3/28/2018
Q: Even though he had an early-August birthday, we started our son in Kindergarten this past Fall at a private Christian school. They did some testing prior to the start of the school year and...
Read MoreAre College Visits Necessary?
Posted on 1/3/2018
Q: Our 17-year-old daughter wants to begin visiting colleges. She’s a high-school junior this year and this is when the college visitations begin. We’re feeling like the Grinches Who Stole...
Read MoreCelebrate Son's Chosen Education, Career Path
Posted on 12/13/2017
Q: Our 18-year-old son made only slightly better than average grades in high school and finished in the top half of his graduating class. He could have done better, but has a history of...
Read MoreParents, Not Teachers, Are the Reason for Decline in Education
Posted on 10/12/2017
Richard Louv, author and former columnist for The San Diego Union-Tribune, began a column in the mid-90s as follows: "At the beginning of the school year, it's good to remember the key to...
Read MoreMicromanaging Weakens Child's Success in School
Posted on 8/22/2017
Q: Our son attends first grade at the local public school. At the beginning of the school year, all the parents were basically told that we are expected to go to the school’s parent website every...
Read MorePut a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers
Posted on 7/19/2017
Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...
Read MoreDo Your Homework Before Choosing a School
Posted on 5/30/2017
Q: We have just moved and are seeking a new school for our two children – 6- and 8-year-old boys. They are smart, respectful of adults, and creative. We know that sounds like typical bragging, but...
Read MoreStay the Course With Rebellious Teen
Posted on 5/23/2017
Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...
Read MoreDon't Fret About Teen Son With Average Grades
Posted on 4/18/2017
Q: Our 17-year-old son is an unmotivated student. A junior in high school, he is clearly capable of making straight A’s, but typically makes B’s and C’s. He plays on both the football and tennis...
Read MoreTeaching Academics to Toddlers is Worthless
Posted on 4/12/2017
There is no good evidence that the artificial gains produced by so-called "jump-start" educational programs for toddlers, whether computer-driven or human-driven, are of lasting value....
Read MoreBring Back Vocational Education in High Schools
Posted on 4/11/2017
During my sophomore year at Proviso West High School in Hillside, Illinois, my guidance counselor, Mr. Gusloff, refused my request to take auto shop because I was, he said, college-bound and my...
Read MoreSuccess Is a Matter of Character, Not Grades
Posted on 2/15/2017
There must be some relationship between aging and the “You’ve got to be kidding me!” response, if I am any indication, that is. What was once occasional has become almost daily. ...
Read MoreHow Much Homework Is Enough?
Posted on 1/26/2017
One of the most unfortunate things that the never-ending rollout of "education reform" has spawned is an overemphasis on <i>quantity</i> where homework is concerned. The following letter, sent to...
Read MoreWhat to Do About a Poor Report Card
Posted on 1/24/2017
<i><b>How to transform bad grades into a learning experience -- and into better results.</b></i> When your child brings home disappointing grades, don't panic, and don't lose your cool. Studies...
Read MoreHelp for the Unmotivated Teen
Posted on 11/1/2016
Q: Our 17-year-old daughter is bright but puts very little effort into her schoolwork. For example, she currently has very low grades in several classes simply because of not turning in...
Read MoreNew School Year, New Babble on What's Wrong With Your Kids
Posted on 10/25/2016
The new school year is still fresh and “it” has already begun, “it” being the ongoing effort on the part of schools to persuade parents that there is something wrong with their kids’...
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