John's Articles
Fixing Our 'Parent-View'
Posted on 9/28/2021
Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...
Read MoreThe Better the Husband, the Better the Dad
Posted on 6/15/2021
Several columns past, I took to my bully pulpit and excoriated men who are married with children for being fathers first and husbands a distant second (maybe even third behind sports fans). My...
Read MoreBe the Best Father by Being the Best Husband You Can Be
Posted on 4/27/2021
Guys! Guys! Look, your wives, bless their hearts, are having enough trouble putting their children and priorities into proper perspective without you adding to the muddle. Keep it straight,...
Read MoreMom, Stop Checking Kid’s Homework
Posted on 4/6/2021
Many times have I warned parents of the pitfalls of micromanaging their children’s academic responsibilities lest said children deduce that the responsibilities in question are not theirs at all...
Read More‘Good Mommy Club’ Does No Favors for Kids
Posted on 5/12/2020
The biggest problem in the life of today’s all-too typical mother is herself. She is her own worst enemy. Them’s fightin’ words, I know, but please, hold the tomatoes and other vegetables and bear...
Read MoreProper Discipline of a Child Is an Act of Love for One’s Neighbor
Posted on 3/10/2020
I’ve learned a new word! My daughter informs me that according to some mothers I am guilty of “mom-shaming” and should be ashamed of myself. I am an unashamed mom-shamer because I happen to...
Read MoreMaternabling is Destructive to Parent-Child Relationship
Posted on 12/10/2019
“You’ve accused mothers of being in co-dependent relationships with their children,” she (a journalist) said, then asked, “What is co-dependency, exactly, and how does it apply to today’s...
Read MoreWhat Constitutes a Good Mother?
Posted on 5/16/2017
By the time this column appears in most papers to which it is distributed, Mother’s Day 2017 will have come and gone. Nonetheless, I’m going to talk about mothers—one in particular. ...
Read MoreHey, Moms: There's More to Life Than Raising Children
Posted on 3/8/2017
A couple of months ago, following a talk I gave in Georgia, a woman told me she had been offended by my many references to mothers who are enmeshed in their children's lives. These women, when...
Read MoreUse Practical, Not Psychological, Approach to Childrearing
Posted on 1/3/2017
One of the biggest problems among today’s parents—especially mothers—concerns their tendency to think in psychological terms about their children’s behavior problems. Mothers are more prone to...
Read MoreIn a Family, Parents' Relationship Comes First
Posted on 12/28/2016
I recently asked a married couple who have three kids, none of whom are yet teens, “Who are the most important people in your family?” Like all good moms and dads of this brave new...
Read MoreAdults, Especially Moms: Keep It Interesting!
Posted on 5/27/2015
My mother was a most unusual woman for her generation. She divorced my father when I was three, went to college and eventually obtained a Ph.D. in plant morphology when women were not heartily...
Read MoreMicromanaging Mom and Uninvolved Father
Posted on 11/29/2011
The micromanager mom and the man-child dad Devon Corneal is an attorney and a writer. Her essay "Can You Hear Me Now? Why Parents Can't Get Kids to Listen" was published online by The...
Read MoreGive Children What They Need and Little of What They Want
Posted on 11/22/2011
Respect children; don't idolize them A young mother who identified herself as a practitioner of "attachment parenting" recently told me that "children should be approached with reverence." I...
Read MoreStep-Family Issues: Parent From the Marriage
Posted on 11/15/2011
How to 'parent from the marriage' Q: Several years ago, I married a widower who never disciplined his children. They are now 9, 14 and 16 and he still has a very difficult time denying them...
Read MoreBoundaries with Children
Posted on 4/12/2011
Moms must enforce boundaries with children A journalist recently began an interview with me with this question: "What is the biggest problem in American parenting today? Is it sex, drugs,...
Read MoreMom's Anxiety Over Child Starting Kindergarten
Posted on 12/28/2010
Child off to school sets off mom's angst trigger Q. Since the oldest of my three children started kindergarten this year, I have become increasingly attached to her, as if I took for granted...
Read MoreParent Bragging About Talented Children
Posted on 11/9/2010
Avoid toxic parents The second question came from a woman whose sister-in-law is forever bragging about her talented children and putting down other parents whose kids are not so blessed (or...
Read MoreGrowing Up in the 1950s
Posted on 8/31/2010
What today's kids are missing What do today's children seriously lack that children in the 1950s and before enjoyed in abundance? To assist the reader in figuring out the answer before it is...
Read MorePressure, Anxiety, and Guilt of Today's Mothers
Posted on 3/23/2010
Hey, moms: There's more to life than raising children Q. My wife and I have been married for nearly 10 years. We have one child, a 3-year-old boy. Ever since our son was born, our marriage has...
Read MoreBoundaries Make for Happy Kids and Parents
Posted on 12/15/2009
BOUNDARIES MAKE FOR HAPPY KIDS AND PARENTS I have long maintained that the happiest kids are also well-behaved and vice versa. That assertion is supported by common sense as well as research...
Read MoreToday's Mothers Need to Have More Authority Over Their Children
Posted on 9/22/2009
I was talking to a mother about a disciplinary issue she was having with one of her children. At one point, she said: "I feel like it's my job to be the nurturer." That told me why she was...
Read MoreHusband's Priority Shoud Be Wife First
Posted on 4/21/2009
DAD'S ATTENTION SHOULD BE ON WIFE The response to my recent "I can't wait for the 1960s to be over and done with!" series has been overwhelming, so here's another installment. A fellow...
Read MoreMom Considering Going Back To Work
Posted on 11/4/2008
BE WISE ABOUT YOUR SACRIFICES Q: Ever since I had children, now 7 and 5, I have resented sacrificing my executive position for staying home and giving 150 percent to my children to make sure...
Read MoreCouples are Husband and Wife Before Father and Mother
Posted on 9/30/2008
CHILDREN DON'T BENEFIT FROM OBSESSIVE PARENTS A journalist recently asked me to name the No. 1 problem facing today's family. To her surprise, I said, "A confusion of roles." In today's...
Read MoreParents Talk and Explain Too Much
Posted on 7/1/2008
LET ME EXPLAIN: KIDS AREN'T ALWAYS DUE AN EXPLANATION In the mid-1970s, I attended a seminar that promised to train me to become an instructor in positive discipline methods. It turned out that...
Read MoreHusband Undermines Wife's Authority
Posted on 4/22/2008
HUSBAND WHO SPOILS HIS CHILD NEEDS A TIMEOUT - AT THE LEAST Q. My husband often undermines my authority with the kids. For example, I believe that my children should eat whatever I put in front...
Read MoreA Father Undermining A Mothers Authority
Posted on 1/1/2008
Q: My husband often undermines my authority where the kids are concerned. For example, I believe that my children should eat what ever I put in front of them for supper. I refuse to be a...
Read MoreMarried to Your Spouse, not Your Kids
Posted on 5/15/2007
ACT AS IF YOU'RE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER, NOT TO YOUR KIDS I recently conducted a two-day seminar with a relatively large audience at a church. Before the start of the second session, a fellow...
Read MoreParents Afraid of Children
Posted on 2/28/2006
PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS ARE UPSIDE DOWN In my recent public presentations, I've been pointing out that whereas baby boomers, as children, were afraid of their mothers, today's mothers - in...
Read MoreParents Should be Leaders, not Pals
Posted on 4/5/2005
PARENTS SHOULD REAR KIDS, NOT BE PALS These days it seems that the more things change in parenting, the more they keep right on changing. For example Today's parents are trying to...
Read MoreChildren Should Fear Mom and Do Chores
Posted on 7/13/2004
DON'T BE YOUR CHILD'S DOORMAT I was just thinking Isn't it ironic? Part One: In my youth, the typical child was afraid of his mother - a mother, furthermore, who might never have spanked or...
Read More5-Year-Old Needs to Occupy Self
Posted on 10/7/2003
SHOW KIDS THEY'RE SMART ENOUGH TO OCCUPY THEMSELVES Q: I'm a single mom who works full-time from home. At noon, I pick up my 5-year-old from her half-day kindergarten program. Unfortunately,...
Read MoreIf You Respect a Child, then You Expect a Lot of the Child
Posted on 6/24/2003
MISBEHAVIOR BY STUBBORN CHILDREN REQUIRES STUBBORN LOVE AND DISCIPLINE The following are some things I've been thinking about lately. I thought perhaps you might want to think about them, too....
Read MoreToday's Mom is Afraid of Her Child
Posted on 5/6/2003
TODAY'S MOM LIKELY FEARS HER CHILD A short collection of musings on the nature of parenting and its current condition in America: By the time your child is 24 months of age, he is making...
Read MoreMoms Micromanaging Children
Posted on 3/4/2003
PSYCHO-BABBLE CAN CLOUD YOUR VISION Q: I am a teacher of 3-year-olds at a church preschool. Most of the boys in the class have a lot of energy, but one boy in particular has some developmental...
Read MoreLuck Does Not Come Into Play with Parenting
Posted on 1/7/2003
KIDS' BEHAVIOR NO GAME OF CHANCE On my Web site (www.rosemond.com) a debate has recently simmered, and occasionally raged, over the notion that some parents are just downright lucky - meaning...
Read MoreToday's Parents Should Not Listen To Psychobabble
Posted on 7/23/2002
PSYCHOBABBLE LEADS TODAY'S PARENTS TO OLD MISTAKES My wife and I recently spent a long weekend in one of our favorite cities. My wife likes to shop, and I am one of those relatively rare males...
Read MoreWorking Moms - Part 2
Posted on 4/16/2002
MANY DODGE DIALOGUE ABOUT 2-INCOME FAMILY A few weeks ago, I forgot what time it is, but now I remember. We live in the postmodern era, in which there is no Ultimate Truth and all "lifestyle"...
Read MoreWorking Moms - Part 1
Posted on 3/5/2002
IS MEDIA AVOIDING BIG STORY ABOUT TWO-INCOME FAMILIES? Bernard Goldberg's new book, "Bias: A CBS Insider Exposes How the Media Distort the News," deserves to be a best seller. It's eye-opening,...
Read MoreMom Worried about 4-Year-Old Preschool Anxiety
Posted on 10/9/2001
DON'T FEED CHILD'S PRESCHOOL ANXIETY Q: For purposes of convenience, I recently changed my 4-year-old son's preschool program. The new program is as highly rated and well staffed as the...
Read MoreMom-Care is Generally Better Than Daycare
Posted on 5/22/2001
CLOSED MINDS SHUT OUT VITAL RESEARCH ON DAY CARE We live in the postmodern age, which is characterized by a rampant anti-intellectualism. It matters not, for example, that objective evidence...
Read MoreStop Fretting Over Not Being a Perfect Parent
Posted on 10/24/2000
STOP FRETTING OVER NOT BEING PERFECT PARENTS Q. Our four children have been in parochial school up until this year, when we put our three youngest into public school. In no time, I found...
Read MoreMom is Playmate to 4- and 6-Year-Old
Posted on 10/10/2000
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE, NOR SHOULD YOU BE, KIDS' PLAYMATE Q. I recently heard you speak in Wisconsin and realized that I have not made the transition from servantship to leadership with my two...
Read More4-Year-Old Wants Mom to Quit Working - Part 2
Posted on 7/25/2000
I REPEAT, 4 IS TOO YOUNG TO RULE ROOST In last week's column, I responded to a mother who works outside of her home simply because that is her desire. Her 4-year-old, who is in a decent...
Read More4-Year-Old Wants Mom to Quit Working - Part 1
Posted on 7/18/2000
WHAT DO YOU TELL A CHILD WHO BEGS YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB? Q. Of the 40 mothers represented in my 4-year-old son's pre-K program, I am one of only three who work outside the home. I do so not for...
Read MoreToday's Mom are Trying to Clear the "Mother Bar"
Posted on 6/6/2000
TODAY'S MOM SHOULD EMULATE YESTERDAY'S Today's women are a paradox. They have taken admirable giant strides forward politically, professionally, economically and educationally, and yet, when...
Read MoreRoles of Mothers and Fathers
Posted on 5/4/1999
TOO MANY MODERN MOMS LET THE KIDS TAKE CHARGE Out of the blue recently my father-in-law said, "A father can only do with his children what their mother gives him permission to do.'' I don't...
Read MoreMoms Afraid Their Children Will Not Like Them
Posted on 12/8/1998
TODAY'S KIDS HAVE NO FEAR, AND PARENTS ARE TO BLAME In my more recent public presentations, I've been pointing out that while baby boomers, as children, were afraid of their mothers, today's...
Read MoreMoms Want to Know What to do When Children Hit Them
Posted on 11/3/1998
MOTHERS, DON'T PUT UP WITH ABUSIVE KIDS ONE MORE DAY Today's women are a paradoxical bunch. They are rightfully proud of the professional and political inroads they've made, yet they too often...
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