John's Articles
Youth Sports Drive Adults Crazy
Posted on 6/6/2023
My family moved to Westchester, Illinois, in 1956, where I began fourth grade at High Ridge School. At the time, my athletic skills consisted of catching and throwing a baseball. The kids in my...
Read MoreHappy Campers: Why Summer Camps Are Good for Children
Posted on 7/17/2018
If your child isn't attending an organized camping program this summer, he or she may be missing out on opportunities for growth in a several areas. There are now more than 16,000 day and...
Read MoreLet Kids Run Their Own Sports Programs
Posted on 2/28/2018
Thirty-something years ago in this column, I offered a free (expenses-only) speaking engagement to any community that would abolish all adult-organized-and-run children’s sports programs...
Read MoreWhy Kids Need Hobbies
Posted on 4/6/2017
Not long ago, speaking to a large midwestern audience, I asked, "How many of you, when you were children, had a hobby?" Nearly everyone raised a hand. I then asked them to keep their hands in the...
Read MoreIf I Were the Little League Czar
Posted on 3/27/2017
It has been 78 years since the first Little League baseball game was played in Williamsport, Pa. Last year, nearly 3 million kids participated in more than 6,500 chartered Little League programs...
Read More'No' Is Best Answer When Mom and Dad Disagree on Parenting Issue
Posted on 3/15/2016
Q: Is three hours of one sport once a week too much for a 7-year-old? This sport meets from 6 - 9 PM. It is nearly 10 PM before child is in bed (as opposed to usual 8:30 bedtime). My husband...
Read MoreShould You Pay Your Child to Do Chores?
Posted on 5/5/2015
A major US newspaper recently ran a piece detailing all the ways children benefit from doing chores. Well, not all the ways. They failed to mention the most important benefit: chores, properly...
Read MoreKicking Out of the Garden of Eden [Explained]
Posted on 10/6/2013
Kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden John's "Garden of Eden" statement: Other Q and A or articles about this method may be searched by using the keyword "Garden" Below is detailed...
Read More16-Year-Old Girl Sports Issue
Posted on 12/6/2011
Teen backs out on sports role Q: Our 16-year-old daughter has said three times over the past two years that she wants to play on the traveling soccer team. The coaches have actually asked her...
Read More15 Resolutions For Parents
Posted on 1/4/2011
15 resolutions for parents Given that this is the first column of a new year, I'm proposing a number of parenting New Year's Resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means...
Read MoreChildren Taking Music Lessons
Posted on 11/23/2010
Should kids stick with hated piano lessons? Through my website, a parent recently asked if children who don't want to continue piano lessons should be forced to stay the course regardless. I...
Read MoreGrowing Up in the 1950s
Posted on 8/31/2010
What today's kids are missing What do today's children seriously lack that children in the 1950s and before enjoyed in abundance? To assist the reader in figuring out the answer before it is...
Read MoreKids Who Are Picked Last
Posted on 7/13/2010
Kids who are picked last Q: A bunch of the parents in our community have decided to keep our kids out of organized sports and let them organize their own games. It's working out wonderfully,...
Read MoreChildren's Activities Impacting Family
Posted on 6/29/2010
It's hard to be a real family when Mom is just a chauffeur Q: My husband and I have five kids ages 11, 10, 7, 5, and 22 months. I would love to keep activities to a minimum to give the kids...
Read More8-Year-Old Boy Humiliated by Coach
Posted on 5/11/2010
Coach humiliates kids Q: Our 8-year-old son is on an extremely competitive gymnastics team. We're concerned about the coach's disciplinary style. When a child makes a mistake, he is prone to...
Read More7-Year-Old Boy Bored Living in the Country
Posted on 4/13/2010
Bored country kid needs a hobby Q: We live in the country and my 7-year-old son is bored out of his mind. He desperately wants to move to the city where he can have neighbor kids to play with....
Read MoreBe Honest with Kids About Their Abilities and Future
Posted on 12/1/2009
BE HONEST WITH KIDS ABOUT THEIR ABILITIES AND FUTURE A grandmother recently told me that her son and daughter-in-law have told her only grandchild, an 8-year-old, that he can be anything he...
Read More7-Year-Old Girl Performance Anxiety
Posted on 3/3/2009
DON'T FIGHT YOUR CHILD'S PERFORMANCE ANXIETY Q. Our 7-year-old daughter does well in school without our help and is a generally happy kid. Her only problem is an incapacitating case of...
Read MoreUnstructured Play for Preschoolers is Beneficial
Posted on 3/27/2007
MICROMANAGING YOUR KIDS ROBS THEM OF MANY BENEFITS UNSTRUCTURED PLAY LEADS TO SOCIAL SKILLS Several months back, I answered a question from a parent who was bemoaning that in her community,...
Read MoreToddler/Preschool Classes
Posted on 1/9/2007
ALL THOSE CLASSES FOR TOTS WON'T TEACH WHAT REALLY MATTERS Q: In my hometown, various enrichment programs for children under 3 are proliferating. A 2-year-old can take ballet, music, yoga, or...
Read MoreRude, Disrespectful 8-Year-Old Has Bullying Behavior
Posted on 11/14/2006
STOP 8-YEAR-OLD'S BULLYING BEHAVIOR BEFORE IT GETS WORSE Q: My 8-year-old son is a poor sport. He's been asked to leave several sports programs because of rudeness to other players and...
Read More6-Year-Old Music Lessons
Posted on 10/31/2006
6-YEAR-OLD IS ASKING TO TAKE EVEN MORE MUSIC LESSONS Q: Our 6-year-old son has taken accordion lessons for almost nine months. He loved it at first, but his enthusiasm has waned. I now have to...
Read More8-Year-Old Prefers Imaginative Play Instead of Sports
Posted on 9/20/2005
DAD WORRIES ABOUT HIS SON'S LACK OF INTEREST IN SPORTS Q: My husband is concerned that our 8-year-old son prefers imaginative play over games such as "catch" or "shooting hoops." He is an...
Read More4- and 8-Year-Old Unruly
Posted on 11/30/2004
UNRULINESS IS REACTION TO STRESS IN THE FAMILY Q: My husband and I have a 4-year-old boy and an 8-year-old girl. They both whine and cry when they do not get their way and do not seem to think...
Read More8-Year-Old Swimming Lessons
Posted on 3/30/2004
Q: Our 8-year-old son enjoys playing in a pool or in the ocean where he can touch the bottom. Water that's over his head causes him to panic. He hated swimming lessons last year because the...
Read More7-Year-Old Needs to Develop Self-Discipline
Posted on 3/2/2004
HELP SON DEVELOP SELF-DISCIPLINE Q: Our 7-year-old son has been obsessed with airplanes since he was 2. I do not use the term lightly - anyone who meets him is floored by his knowledge of...
Read More20- and 32-Month Old Playtime
Posted on 1/21/2003
PLAYTIME DOES NOT NEED 'STRUCTURE' Q: I have two toddlers, 20 and 32 months. Beyond 30 minutes of reading and snuggling before bed, how much time each day should I spend involved in activities...
Read MoreAdult Involvement in Youth Sports
Posted on 2/5/2002
Since the inception of this column 26 years ago, I've regularly ranted about adult over-involvement in youth sports. Meddling adults, however well intentioned, have turned what was once child's...
Read More9-Year-Old Convinced He Is Going to Win Competition
Posted on 8/28/2001
EVEN IF HE LOSES, SON CAN LEARN HOW TO WIN Q. My 9-year-old son has been taking martial arts for several years now and has gotten good enough to participate in large competitions, one of which...
Read More7-Year-Old is Poor Sport
Posted on 4/11/2000
POOR SPORT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN OUT OF THE GAME Q. My 7 year-old is a poor sport, gloating when he wins a game and crying when he loses. My husband's entire family shares this trait with him, so...
Read MoreAfter-School Activities
Posted on 1/25/2000
BEST AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES TAKE PLACE AT HOME Q. I read the recent column in which you called on parents to take their kids out of all after-school activities. I couldn't help but wonder...
Read MoreCut Out After-School Activities to Reduce Parenting Stress
Posted on 1/11/2000
CUTTING EXTRAS AFTER SCHOOL COULD CALM THE HOUSEHOLD I asked a recent audience, some 450 strong, "I can virtually guarantee that by making one simple decision, you can reduce parenting stress...
Read MoreToo Many After-School Activities
Posted on 10/26/1999
ONE OUTSIDE ACTIVITY PER CHILD IS ENOUGH Q. We have three daughters, ages 8, 6 and 2. Our concern is whether we are scheduling too many extracurricular activities for the two older children....
Read More12-Year-Old Athlete Not Maintaining Good Grades
Posted on 7/21/1998
GRADES SLIPPED; MUST CHILD MISS SOCCER TOURNAMENT? Q. Four years ago, we adopted an 8-year-old girl with multiple developmental and behavior problems. Prior to joining our family, she had been...
Read MoreFrantic Family Syndrome: After-School Activities - Part 2
Posted on 10/10/1996
QUESTIONS ABOUT FRANTIC FAMILY SYNDROME Several months ago, I wrote a column on the "Frantic Family Syndrome'' - the hectic lifestyle that results from racing children to and from various...
Read MoreFrantic Family Syndrome: After-School Activities - Part 1
Posted on 6/6/1996
3 IN 4 HAVE FRANTIC FAMILY SYNDROME Has your family succumbed to Frantic Family Syndrome? The symptoms include: A. Parents who spend a disproportionate amount of time racing children...
Read MoreThoughts on Parenthood - Part 2
Posted on 2/18/1994
CHILDREN NEED TO LEARN THE 3 R'S: RESPECT, RESPONSIBILITY, RESOURCEFULNESS More musings on parenthood: * Children need a lot of supervision, but not a lot of attention. Too much attention, like...
Read MoreAdult-Oriented Community Sports Programs for Children
Posted on 10/1/1993
A PLAN FOR HEALTHIER CHILDREN'S COMMUNITY SPORTS PROGRAMS If you are a regular reader of this column, you know that adult-oriented community sports programs for children drive me right up the...
Read MoreGive the Kids Their Games Back!
Posted on 11/11/1990
<b>Q. Your opinion of after-school sports is really off-the-wall. The fact that adults are involved in these programs doesn't make them bad. You make it sound as if all the coaches and parents...
Read More8-Year-Old Music Lessons
Posted on 10/7/1990
PARENT AND CHILD ARE PLAYING AN OLD SONG Q: My 8-year-old son, Smitty, has been enrolled in Suzuki violin lessons since kindergarten. He likes his teacher, the opportunities for performance,...
Read MoreAdults Interfere with Childhood Games
Posted on 5/6/1990
FIELDS OF SCHEMES ADULTS TAKE THE CAMARADERIE OUT OF PLAYGROUND GAMES If, as a child, I wanted to play baseball, I called a friend who called a friend who called a friend. In this way,...
Read More15-Month-Old Excercise Class
Posted on 1/7/1990
EXERCISE CLASS FOR TODDLERS? FIDDLESTICKS Q. We are very health-conscious parents who want our 15-month-old daughter to grow up physically fit. There's an exercise program for toddlers that's...
Read MoreIf I Were the Little League Czar
Posted on 6/4/1989
It was 50 years ago this year that the first Little League baseball game was played in Williamsport, Pa. Last year, nearly 3 million kids participated in more than 16,000 Little League programs in...
Read MoreGo Ahead and Send Kids Outside
Posted on 5/21/1989
Several months ago, I wrote that my mother's favorite after-school activity for me was "go outside and find something to do." I said it was then, and still is, the most valuable way a child can...
Read MoreAfter-School Activity
Posted on 12/18/1988
Kids can fill spare time themselves My mother's favorite after-school activity for me was "go outside and find something to do." with the exception of making sure I did my chores, she felt no...
Read MoreObjections to Allowing Chid Quit Music Lessons
Posted on 6/26/1988
PIANO TEACHERS OBJECT TO LETTING CHILD QUIT LESSONS My recent column on piano lessons raised the hackles of quite a few piano teachers. To recap: A mother asked whether she should let her...
Read More9-Year-Old Piano Lessons
Posted on 3/6/1988
A KEY DECISION ABOUT PIANO LESSONS Q. My 9-year-old daughter started piano lessons six months ago. At first, she was enthusiastic. Now, she does nothing but complain about practicing and...
Read MoreChildren: Too Much of What They Want, Not Enough of What They Need
Posted on 4/27/1986
UNDERSTANDING WHAT KIDS NEED, WANT Several months ago, I was talking to an audience of several hundred people, most of whom were parents of early elementary-age children. My subject was...
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