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Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

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Lowering the Boom

Posted on 7/7/2015

Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond One of the most common of complaints from today’s parents is “we’ve tried everything.” They refer, of course, to having tried numerous approaches...

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The Very Essence of Effective Discipline

Posted on 6/9/2015

Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond Two months ago, I conducted a two-day small-group “parent retreat” during which I talked about, among other things, the legitimacy and power of...

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To Spank or Not to Spank?

Posted on 10/28/2014

It’s time once again for me to clarify my position on spanking. I arrived at this reluctant conclusion because twice in the last week, I’ve been informed that I believe in it, which is...

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Roadblocks to Success in Classroom Discipline

Posted on 10/14/2014

A first-grade teacher asks what she can do about a girl in her class who is completely undisciplined. After nearly two months of this teacher’s best efforts, the child’s behavior is no...

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Sassy Children

Posted on 7/8/2014

Q: The "sassiness" that I have heard so much about from my friends started a few months ago with my 5-year-old daughter. She will say things to me that I actually find myself tongue-tied on how or...

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The Ticket System for Corrective Discipline

Posted on 4/28/2014

I developed "Tickets" in response to the observation that time-out only works with children who are already fairly well behaved. (Then again, just about any demonstration of parental disapproval...

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"Boy" Behavior

Posted on 3/11/2014

Q: My 6-year-old son is a bright and friendly kindergartner. Each day a color coded chart is sent home about his behavior. This year he's gone through several spells during which he will have a...

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Daughter does not "Measure Up."

Posted on 2/11/2014

Q: My 5-year-old is the youngest of my 3 children. Her older boy/girl twin siblings clearly outshine her athletically. They're already very skilled at wakeboarding and snow skiing, for example. I...

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Who cleans up?

Posted on 2/4/2014

Q: I have 3 kids ages 8, 6, and 4. I need help solving the "pick up the playroom" dilemma. When an area in which they've been playing needs to be picked up and straightened, the 8-year-old always...

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Keep a Sharp Eye on Electronics

Posted on 1/28/2014

Q: Our 13-year-old son has had an iPod for the last 3 years. We've always made use of the parental restrictions to make sure that he could only access "clean" music, movies, and websites. When I...

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Hurt Feelings

Posted on 12/17/2013

Q: My 6-year-old daughter has recently learned to say "You're hurting my feelings." This is part of her school's anti-bullying program. The problem is she's now saying it to me when I discipline...

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Consequences

Posted on 12/3/2013

Q: My 5-year-old son is an only child whom I homeschool. He talks back, argues, and generally wears me down. I need help getting to him to realize that no is no, that I mean what I say. I know I'm...

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Odd is just odd

Posted on 11/19/2013

The mother of a 4-year-old boy shared an interesting story with me the other day. At age 2, her son began chewing meat to the point where it became liquid, but would not swallow. The parents...

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Discipline Problems

Posted on 10/1/2013

Most parents describe discipline problems as if they are "coming out" of their kids, that the problems in question reveal facets of their kids' personalities-things like "strong-willed."...

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Gifted ... With Laziness

Posted on 8/20/2013

Q: Our 9-year-old son Bobby is very intelligent and capable of doing good work in school when he wants to, but he is generally just downright lazy. As a result, he makes mediocre grades and we...

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Yelling - Not Good for Parent or Child

Posted on 7/16/2013

"I'm a yeller," she said, she being the mother of three young children. "No," I replied, "you're not. There is no genetic predisposition toward yelling, and no biochemical or...

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Radical Parenting Philosophies

Posted on 6/18/2013

If my parents told me once, they told me at least one hundred times, "Don't talk to anyone about their religious or political beliefs." They meant, of course, that those topics are likely to...

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Last Chance for Major Change

Posted on 2/5/2013

Q: Our 17-year-old is a highly spoiled underachiever. As a junior in high school, he's failing two classes and borderline in the rest. We know that his problems are largely due to our parenting...

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Nine year old Refuses to go to her room

Posted on 1/15/2013

Q: What should I do when my 9-year-old daughter loses all of her privileges because of her misbehavior but refuses to go to her room? I tried to physically force her, but she put up too much of a...

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One Year Old Slapping Parents and Screaming

Posted on 11/8/2011

Punishment may fail with toddlers, but try a firm 'no' Q: My 1-year-old has started slapping us. He also screams a lot, often for no reason, or at least we can't figure out the reason. He won't...

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Behavior Modification Methods Do Not Work with Children

Posted on 10/25/2011

Kids aren't trained like rats in mazes Once upon a time, I thought, as did and still do many if not most people in my profession, that behavior modification was going to make the discipline of...

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3-Year-Old Girl Disruptive Behavior

Posted on 6/28/2011

Discipline bad behavior - don't psychoanalyze it Q. About a year ago, my husband and I underwent a major move with our 3-year-old. Six months later, I gave birth to twins. Needless to say, our...

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4-Year-Old Girl - Using Ticket Method for Improved Behavior

Posted on 6/21/2011

Stick with the tickets and stay on track Q: Using the "ticket method" you have described, I began my 4-year-old daughter's rehabilitation program this week. When she loses all five of her...

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5-Year-Old Girl Neediness

Posted on 4/5/2011

I'm-growing-up list for neediness Q: My daughter, who is 5, relies on me far too much. All through the day, she asks me to do simple things for her like get her a glass of water or help her put...

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Discipline Issues

Posted on 3/22/2011

Flyswatter approach to discipline fails The human desire for short-term gratification is getting stronger all the time as technology and fast food, among other things, deliver satisfaction in...

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4-Year-Old Girl Correcting Older Sibling

Posted on 2/15/2011

Q. Our 4-year-old daughter is constantly correcting her 9-year-old brother. She tells him - to use a recent example - that he's making noise when he drinks something, then proceeds to show him how...

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Grandchildren's Behavior at Grandparents' House

Posted on 12/7/2010

Talk to adult kids about grandkids Q. Whenever our two adult children, their spouses and our four school-age grandchildren (tweenagers, all) visit us, chaos reigns. The children are wild. They...

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Children Adapt to Differing Discipline Styles

Posted on 11/3/2009

CHILDREN ADAPT TO DIFFERING RULES Q. I am a full-time nanny living with a single dad and his four young sons. The dad has given me free rein to deal with the kids and discipline them as I see...

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Consequence Needs to Produce Permanent Memory for 6-Year-Old Tantrum

Posted on 9/29/2009

ISSUING CONSEQUENCES EQUALS WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN From the Mailbag: A Charlotte woman writes to the Observer that I should get out in the real world more and meet the "mothers and fathers of...

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Train Children to Behave in Public

Posted on 9/15/2009

RESPECT YOUR FELLOW DINERS - TEACH CHILDREN TABLE MANNERS "I feel a column coming on, " my wife said, doing her usual read-my-mind thing. It was another superb nine o'clock in the morning in...

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Use of the The Doctor to Abandon Certain Behaviors

Posted on 6/23/2009

SORRY, DEAR READER: 'THE DOCTOR' IS IN More from the mailroom: Reader Objects to My Favorite Therapist: One woman believes that I am wrong to invent "The Doctor" as a means of persuading...

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Discipline is the Process by Which a Child is Taught to Think Properly

Posted on 5/5/2009

THINK DIRECTION, NOT CONSULTATION In her 1963 essay, "Total Effect and the Eighth Grade, " Flannery O'Connor's purpose was to argue for requiring children to read the classics that defined...

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4-Year-Old Boy Misbehaving in Public Places

Posted on 4/14/2009

DON'T LOSE YOUR COOL WITH CHILD - PULL TICKET This column first appeared in 2004. Q. When we take our 4-year-old into a store or restaurant, he begins misbehaving. How do you discipline a...

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Because I Said So 3

Posted on 3/24/2009

'BECAUSE I SAID SO' SHOULD SAY IT ALL Last week's column concerned the corrosive 1960s idea that children should be allowed to express their feelings freely, which all too many of today's kids...

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Parents' Firm Stance Brings Fast Results

Posted on 2/17/2009

PARENTS' FIRM STANCE BRINGS FAST RESULTS This column is about a school-age boy who recently learned a valuable lesson in the hardest of ways. At their most recent conference, the boy's...

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Use Chair of Wisdom for 8-Year-Old and 10-Year-Old Girls

Posted on 1/27/2009

IF 'NO' DOESN'T WORK, GET THE CHAIR OF WISDOM Q. Our 8- and 10-year-old daughters came to me and asked if they could go to the movies with two friends from school that they wanted to "get to...

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3-Year-Old Girl Not Wearing Clothes

Posted on 1/20/2009

CALL ON 'THE DOCTOR' TO GET A TODDLER TO WEAR CLOTHES I never cease to be amazed at how easy it is to solve potentially large behavior problems with just a little imagination. Case in point: a...

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2-Year-Old Girl Rejecting Dad and Brother

Posted on 1/13/2009

TOT'S BEHAVIOR MAY NOT BE TIED TO MEDICAL ILLS Q: As a result of being born with PHACES syndrome, my 2-year-old daughter has had numerous facial and eye operations. Because of all the stress,...

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Consequences Do Not Compel Human Beings

Posted on 12/23/2008

CONSEQUENCES DON'T FORCE GOOD BEHAVIOR American parents believe in behavior modification. They believe that the same principles that govern the behavior of a dog also govern human...

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Parents' Hard-Line Stance Will Serve Their Sons Well

Posted on 12/9/2008

PARENTS' HARD-LINE STANCE WILL SERVE THEIR SONS WELL Every so often, and usually just as I am about to resign myself to the folly of postmodern parenting, I run across a story involving parents...

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4-Year-Old Boy Hitting Others at Preschool

Posted on 11/18/2008

KIDS WHO HURT OTHERS NEED TO BE STOPPED Q. Our 4-year-old son is hitting others at preschool and has to spend the afternoon in his room for this. In soccer, he's pushing kids down and tripping...

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5-Year-Old Girl Being Cruel to Disabled Sister

Posted on 11/18/2008

CRUELTY MEANS TOUGH RESPONSE IS IN ORDER Q. How should we deal with a 5-year-old girl who joins with two other girls at the bus stop in calling her 7-year-old disabled sibling a wacko? Talking...

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Children Love to be Ignored

Posted on 11/11/2008

CHILDREN WOULD PREFER TO BE IGNORED Here's something you already know, but don't know you know: Children love to be ignored. Mind you, I'm not talking about neglect. I'm talking about ignored,...

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4-Year-Old Boy's Fear of the Dark and Being Left Alone

Posted on 9/23/2008

3 STRIKES AND HE SEES THE LIGHT Another mother shares how she solved her 4-year-old son's fear of the dark and fear of being left alone. He would not go into dark areas of the house, although...

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5-Year-Old Girl with Short-Lived Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Posted on 9/23/2008

BY OBEYING, SHE SHOWS HER LOVE Another creative mother reports that immediately after her fifth birthday, her daughter came down with oppositional defiant disorder. One morning, in the midst of...

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4-Year-Old Girl Tantrums

Posted on 8/26/2008

TELL 4-YEAR-OLD 'THE DOCTOR' SAYS TANTRUMS MUST END Q: My 4-year-old daughter still has very bad tantrums. When she does this on an outing, I immediately take her home. However, this affects...

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6-Year-Old Boys - Moaning, Eye Rolling, Door Slamming, Stomping

Posted on 7/22/2008

TRY '3 STRIKES' WITH REBELLIOUS 6-YEAR-OLDS Q: How should we handle the noises (moaning), the gestures (eye rolling) and the posturing (door slamming, stomping) that ensue so often around here...

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Teenage Girl Sneaks Out of the House and is Disrespectful

Posted on 4/1/2008

Q. Do you believe in sending children to military school? Our young teenage daughter has twice snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. We are shocked and hurt by her lack of respect for...

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