John's Articles

Cure for Kid Who Hits

Posted on 10/26/2021

A 4-year-old – I’ll call him Popeye – had a habit of hitting other children in his preschool program. His teachers tried various approaches, including rewarding him with a treat on days when he...

Ear Infections and Misbehavior; Boundaries for Boys

Posted on 3/23/2021

Q: My three-year-old is prone to ear infections. When he has one, his behavior deteriorates considerably. He becomes disobedient and given to angry outbursts. When his ears are clear, he’s...

3 Rules for Taking Kids to Restaurants

Posted on 7/19/2016

The Wall Street Journal recently interviewed Daniel Eddy, a New York City chef, on how to have a mutually-successful experience with a young child in an upscale restaurant (“How to Take Your Kids...

We Shouldn't Always Shield Our Children From Pain

Posted on 6/9/2016

The depraved excepted, parents do not enjoy making children unhappy. Nevertheless, sometimes it is in a child's best interest that parents - while not deliberately trying to induce unhappiness -...

Sociability for Shy Child

Posted on 3/24/2015

Teen Will Not Brush Teeth

Posted on 4/29/2014

Q: My 14-year-old son does not brush his teeth, except during the week before going to the dentist. He doesn't have any cavities, his breath is fine, his check-ups at the dentist are at the...

Does Animal Torture = Sociopath?

Posted on 4/15/2014

Q: My 18 year old son and a slightly younger friend recently found some mice and decided to dispose of them. They drowned one and set the other one on fire. When I confronted my son for torturing...

Too Old to Cuddle?

Posted on 4/15/2014

Q: My 11-year old son, an only child, continues to ask me to "snuggle" with him and scratch his back at bed time. This is a time for us to read aloud, chat about concerns or questions, and say...

Video Games - Again!

Posted on 4/8/2014

Q: Our 14-year-old son seems depressed-to us, at least. His principal sees no sign of depression but thinks he's socially anxious. The subjects of counseling and medication have come up. We have...

Don't laugh!

Posted on 3/25/2014

Q: Our 4-year-old daughter has a huge problem with being laughed at. She loves to be goofy and do funny things but as soon as someone, including one of us, laughs at her she becomes upset. She...

"Boy" Behavior

Posted on 3/11/2014

Q: My 6-year-old son is a bright and friendly kindergartner. Each day a color coded chart is sent home about his behavior. This year he's gone through several spells during which he will have a...

Interpersonal Snot Wiping Behavior

Posted on 2/25/2014

Q: We are having a problem with our 32-month-old son. He picks his nose-most often in a public setting-and then proceeds to wipe it on other family members. It's disgusting. We have tried ignoring...

Daughter does not "Measure Up."

Posted on 2/11/2014

Q: My 5-year-old is the youngest of my 3 children. Her older boy/girl twin siblings clearly outshine her athletically. They're already very skilled at wakeboarding and snow skiing, for example. I...

Biting Finger Nails: What to do?

Posted on 1/21/2014

Q: What can be done to stop a nineteen year old from biting his finger nails? This has been an ongoing habit from early childhood. He's obviously damaging his fingers and maybe even his teeth....

Teen Son's Problems Related to Video Games

Posted on 12/17/2013

Q: Over the past year, the relationship between our 14-year-old son and his sisters has deteriorated markedly and is causing major problems in our family. He won't speak to them and says he hates...

Explaining School Shootings

Posted on 10/29/2013

A radio talk show recently called to ask how parents should explain school shootings to their kids. My answer: It depends. I prefer, for the most part, for parents to say nothing unless...

Their Biology Makes Them Do It!

Posted on 10/22/2013

The "their biology makes them do it!" hypothesis concerning the oft-horrid behavior of today's teens keeps on rolling along, charming parents of said teens into the comforting belief that...

Teaching: Then and Now

Posted on 10/15/2013

The most valuable course I took in high school was typing. I took two semesters of it my sophomore year at Proviso West High School in Hillside, Illinois. By the end of the second...

Kicking Out of the Garden of Eden [Explained]

Posted on 10/6/2013

Kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden John's "Garden of Eden" statement: Other Q and A or articles about this method may be searched by using the keyword "Garden" Below is detailed...

Thumb Sucking - Revisited

Posted on 8/27/2013

In a recent column I said thumb-sucking is not, as was once thought, a sign of insecurity or other psychological problems. Well-adjusted children suck their thumbs and grow up to be...

Gifted ... With Laziness

Posted on 8/20/2013

Q: Our 9-year-old son Bobby is very intelligent and capable of doing good work in school when he wants to, but he is generally just downright lazy. As a result, he makes mediocre grades and we...

Thumb Sucking and Security Blankets

Posted on 8/13/2013

Q: My 5-year-old is going to Kindergarten soon and still sucks her thumb. We've tried everything to get her to stop, even a dental appliance, but she won't give it up. Do you have a solution for...

Toddlers in Restaurants?

Posted on 6/25/2013

Q: Help! We find it almost impossible to finish a restaurant meal when our 18-month-old twins are along, which is always. We give them toys to keep them busy, and they do well for about 30 minutes...

Radical Parenting Philosophies

Posted on 6/18/2013

If my parents told me once, they told me at least one hundred times, "Don't talk to anyone about their religious or political beliefs." They meant, of course, that those topics are likely to...

"Like" This

Posted on 6/11/2013

"Are you trying to tell me something?" I asked my pre-teen grandson. "Um, uh, yes." "Then don't use that word. You know how I feel about it." "Okay." And the conversation proceeded...

School Start and Birthdays

Posted on 5/21/2013

Q: Our son's fifth birthday is in August. He did just fine, socially and academically, in preschool, but the counselor at the school he's slated to attend has recommended that we hold him back a...

21-Year-Old Needs Walking Papers

Posted on 2/26/2013

Q: My husband and I have a 21-year-old daughter from his first marriage. She was suspended from college for bad grades and is waiting out her time until she can go back. Meanwhile, she works for...

18-Month-Old is a Table Terror!

Posted on 2/26/2013

Q: Our 18 month old is a table terror! While I'm preparing dinner, she walks around acting like she's starving, but as soon as we sit her in her highchair she takes a few bites and then wants...

What is Bullying, Exactly?

Posted on 2/12/2013

The principal of a middle school recently confided in me that "this bullying thing has gotten completely out of hand." He wasn't referring to bullying itself, although that's certainly out of...

Last Chance for Major Change

Posted on 2/5/2013

Q: Our 17-year-old is a highly spoiled underachiever. As a junior in high school, he's failing two classes and borderline in the rest. We know that his problems are largely due to our parenting...

Mother-Son-Dance?

Posted on 1/28/2013

Q: Our two sons are in the fifth and sixth grades at a private school that just held a father-daughter dance. Now the school has announced that it's putting on a mother-son dance so as not to...

Boys goofing around

Posted on 1/1/2013

Q: Our son is in Kindergarten at a small private school. Most of the children in his class are boys. From the beginning, he's been somewhat of a behavior problem. Each time we get a notice from...

Five year old will not bring friends home.

Posted on 12/25/2012

Q: My 5-year-old daughter loves to play with other kids her age, but has not yet asked me to invite any of her school friends over for a play date. According to her teacher, she's a bit shy but...

Chores: Start Early

Posted on 8/21/2012

Q: I know you think children as young as 3 should be doing chores around the home. That seems awfully young, but can you recommend several age-appropriate chores I can try with my 3-and-one-half...

Don't 'Jump the gun' on bullying.

Posted on 8/14/2012

Q: My oldest child starts kindergarten soon. I know there will be the class and/or bus bully who will cause her some distress, whether directly or indirectly. I want to know how to handle it...

6-Year-Old Boys Being Rambunctious

Posted on 7/26/2011

Q. I have 6-year-old twin boys who tend to get rambunctious when playing with other boys. How can I teach them to control their behavior when around other 'wild' kids? Recently, one of my boys and...

Wild Boys

Posted on 7/25/2011

Q: I have 6-year-old twin boys who tend to get rambunctious when playing with other boys. How can I teach them to control their behavior when around other 'wild' kids? Recently, one of my boys...

4-Year-Old Boy Not Socializing with Other Children

Posted on 5/31/2011

Boy doesn't like playing with unfamiliar children Q. My son will be 4 years old in a couple of months. He is having problems playing and relating to groups of kids in social situations. For...

8-Year-Old Boy - Grade Retention Issue

Posted on 5/24/2011

Q: My 8-year-old son is the youngest in his third-grade class. Some students are more than a year older because parents are holding back boys these days. I am concerned because he is struggling...

Raising Children to be Good Neighbors and Good Citizens

Posted on 5/3/2011

I'm reasonably certain that my parents never used the term "John's needs." Since having this thought, I've asked a handful of folks my age, "Do you think your parents ever talked about your needs...

15 Resolutions For Parents

Posted on 1/4/2011

15 resolutions for parents Given that this is the first column of a new year, I'm proposing a number of parenting New Year's Resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means...

3-Year-Old Son Social Development

Posted on 7/20/2010

Lack of playmates worries mom Q: My 3-year- old son has been at home with me since day one. I'm worried about his social development. He loves being around other children his age, but that...

4-Year-Old Boy Not Very Social

Posted on 10/6/2009

RELAX AND LET AN INTROVERTED CHILD DEVELOP Q. My 4-year-old son is not fully engaged when he has a friend over. His twin sister makes friends easily and the difference between them is glaring....

2-Year-Old Boy Socialization Opportunities

Posted on 1/6/2009

Q. How important is it that I provide my 2-year-old with socialization opportunities? The other mothers in the neighborhood have formed a play group for their toddlers, but they seem to spend most...

7-Year-Old Girl Bossy to Others

Posted on 1/22/2008

Dealing with a bossy daughter Q. My 7-year-old daughter is often quite bossy to her sister and other playmates. I know I should not get involved, but it is difficult for me to keep my mouth...

High School Boy Likes Playing with Younger Kids

Posted on 10/31/2006

Young playmates Q: Our son, a high school sophomore, continues to play with neighborhood kids that are still in elementary school despite us asking him to hang with kids more his age. We have...

Socializing the Toddler is the Single Biggest Challenge of Parenthood

Posted on 8/15/2006

PARENTS' BIGGEST CHALLENGE IS TAMING THEIR TODDLERS In response to my recent "How to grow a happy child" column, a reader writes that while she agreed with its gist, she was disappointed that I...

3-Year-Old Imaginary Friend

Posted on 8/1/2006

He prefers imaginary pal Q: My just-turned 3-year-old son has an imaginary friend named Jonas, which I understand is fairly normal for this age. What worries me is that he'd rather play with...

8-Year-Old Prefers Imaginative Play Instead of Sports

Posted on 9/20/2005

DAD WORRIES ABOUT HIS SON'S LACK OF INTEREST IN SPORTS Q: My husband is concerned that our 8-year-old son prefers imaginative play over games such as "catch" or "shooting hoops." He is an...

4-Year-Old Twins Sleep and Socialization Issues

Posted on 8/16/2005

BEDTIME BEDLAM MAY STEM FROM PARENTS, NOT KIDS Q: My twin 4-year-old boys, who get along wonderfully, share a bedroom. They go to bed quite cooperatively, but they talk to each other and ask...

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