John's Articles

Consequence Needs to Produce Permanent Memory for 6-Year-Old Tantrum

Posted on 9/29/2009

ISSUING CONSEQUENCES EQUALS WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN From the Mailbag: A Charlotte woman writes to the Observer that I should get out in the real world more and meet the "mothers and fathers of...

Back-To-School Tips for Parents

Posted on 9/8/2009

BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIPS FOR PARENTS Several teachers asked if I would reprint a column that first appeared about 10 years ago. The subject is my five top back-to-school tips for parents. Before...

5-Year-Old Girl with Short-Lived Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Posted on 9/23/2008

BY OBEYING, SHE SHOWS HER LOVE Another creative mother reports that immediately after her fifth birthday, her daughter came down with oppositional defiant disorder. One morning, in the midst of...

6-Year-Old Boys - Moaning, Eye Rolling, Door Slamming, Stomping

Posted on 7/22/2008

TRY '3 STRIKES' WITH REBELLIOUS 6-YEAR-OLDS Q: How should we handle the noises (moaning), the gestures (eye rolling) and the posturing (door slamming, stomping) that ensue so often around here...

Control Children in Public Places

Posted on 5/27/2008

PARENTS, YOU MIGHT BE USED TO YOUR WILD CHILD; WE AREN'T It is a sign of these postmodern times that a simple, straightforward bit of seemingly innocuous news can turn quickly into a...

18-Month-Old Boy Crys at Restaurants

Posted on 4/1/2008

CRYING AT RESTAURANTS IS TOUGH BEHAVIOR TO CHANGE, SO EAT IN Q. How should I handle an 18-month-old who cries at a restaurant because he wants out of his high chair to sit with me or someone...

18-Year-Old Boy Defiant

Posted on 3/11/2008

Defiant 18-year-old Q. We have a son who just turned 18 (but is still a junior in high school) and a 14-year-old freshman daughter. While my husband and I were away, our son went to visit his...

Children Not Putting Backpacks in Proper Place

Posted on 3/4/2008

PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...

7-Year-Old Boy Talking Back, Arguing, and Lying

Posted on 3/4/2008

PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...

High School Girl's Dropping Grades and Attitude

Posted on 3/4/2008

PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...

6-Year-Old Boy Whining, Throwing Tantrums, Running Away from Parents

Posted on 1/22/2008

ACT YOUR AGE, OR IT'S PARADISE LOST Q. We recently kicked our 6-year-old out of the Garden of Eden for constant whining, frequent tantrums, running away in stores, and other behaviors typical...

5-Year-Old Girl Taking Things From Parents Without Permission

Posted on 12/25/2007

IS 5-YEAR-OLD MANIPULATIVE? NOT REALLY - SHE'S JUST CURIOUS EDITOR'S NOTE: John Rosemond is on vacation. This column first appeared in 1985. Of all the myths associated with children and...

Grandmother Undermining Parent Authority

Posted on 11/6/2007

Q: My boys are 7 and 2. I have always been an "I tell you once" type of mom, which is how my mother raised me. Ironically, when I try to discipline my kids when my mom is around, she becomes very...

6-Year-Old Boy Throwing Wild Tantrums

Posted on 10/30/2007

ARE BRAIN CHEMICALS TO BLAME FOR 6-YEAR-OLD'S BAD BEHAVIOR? Recently the parents of a 6-year-old boy asked my advice concerning his daily, sometimes violent tantrums which had been ongoing...

15-Year-Old with Moody, Negative Attitude

Posted on 6/12/2007

NO SUCH THING AS A PROBLEM-FREE CHILD It is not the responsibility of parents to make sure that a child enters adulthood problem-free. That is an impossible dream, yet it seems many parents...

Too Big For Their Britches

Posted on 5/8/2007

HAVE YOU LET YOUR CHILDREN GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES? When I was a child, my parents found frequent reason to tell me that I was a small fish in a big pond. Sometimes, to keep me on my...

8th Grader - Defiant, School Issues, and Video Games

Posted on 2/13/2007

THROW AWAY THE XBOX, AND YOU'LL CHANGE SON'S ATTITUDE Q:Our eighth-grade son is obviously intelligent, and is in his school's gifted and talented program. Furthermore, he scored in the top 5...

Kindergartener with Attitude and Sassy Talk

Posted on 2/6/2007

Little Jekyll and Hyde Q: Every morning, I send my sweet, well-behaved son to kindergarten and every evening I face a teenager. When I tell him to do or stop doing something, he gives me an...

Rude, Disrespectful 8-Year-Old Has Bullying Behavior

Posted on 11/14/2006

STOP 8-YEAR-OLD'S BULLYING BEHAVIOR BEFORE IT GETS WORSE Q: My 8-year-old son is a poor sport. He's been asked to leave several sports programs because of rudeness to other players and...

Don't Treat 3-Year-Old Like an Adult

Posted on 7/4/2006

DON'T TREAT PRECOCIOUS 3-YEAR-OLD LIKE AN ADULT Q: Our 3-year-old daughter is very intelligent for her age. I know all parents think their children are smart but several doctors have told us...

Child Forced to Write Letter of Apology to Teacher

Posted on 8/30/2005

CHILD FORCED TO A WRITE LETTER OF APOLOGY - HORRORS! A friend of mine in Virginia happened to be looking in on her fourth-grade son's class one day when he talked back to his teacher. My...

8-Year-Old Soils Pants

Posted on 5/31/2005

BOY 'FORGETS' TO USE TOILET AT SCHOOL Q: My oldest son, soon to be 8, still soils his underwear during school or recess. Some of it is that he is embarrassed to use the toilet in the...

29-Month-Old Outbursts

Posted on 5/24/2005

IGNORE TODDLER'S HARMLESS OUTBURSTS TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO MINI-TANTRUMS COULD LEAD TO ESCALATION Q: Our 29-month-old son is mostly well-behaved. But when he doesn't get his way or becomes...

Defiant 14-Year-Old

Posted on 5/10/2005

TEEN'S DEFIANCE NOT A REASON TO LIGHTEN TASTE OF REAL WORLD Q: The punishments I give my 14-year-old daughter - mostly for blatant defiance of the rules - seem to make her even more defiant....

Misbehaving Children

Posted on 4/12/2005

WHY DO PARENTS DEFEND CHILDREN'S BAD BEHAVIOR? The mother of two small children writes that when she takes them to indoor play areas she often finds herself dealing with parents who not...

2- and 3-Year-Old Unruly on Disney Trip

Posted on 3/8/2005

A WHOLE NEW WORLD: TOTS TURN UNRULY ON DISNEY TRIP Q: Our two girls, ages 3 and 2, are very well behaved both at home and in public, so my husband and I decided to treat them to a memorable...

Teen's Hormones and Unruly Emotions

Posted on 2/1/2005

DON'T BLAME TEENAGERS' HORMONES FOR THEIR UNRULY EMOTIONS Q: During a recent talk show appearance, a psychologist said that runaway hormone levels often cause the rational part of the...

6-Year-Old Disruptive at Home and School

Posted on 1/18/2005

SOME OLD-FASHIONED DISCIPLINE SAVES ANGST, TIME AND MONEY A collection of "parenting shorts": First, an absolutely true story from my ever-growing "True Stories of Psychobabble" file,...

5-Year-Old Saying Disrespectful Comments about Parents

Posted on 1/18/2005

See no evil, hear no evil A 5-year-old girl, when sent to her room for punishment, can be heard talking about her parents in highly disrespectful language. The father asked what they...

Emotional Outbursts of Hate

Posted on 1/18/2005

The love-hate thing Q: Is it disrespectful for a child to yell "I hate you!" at a parent? A: Most people, it seems, think so. I don't. The difference between a disrespectful statement...

7-Year-Old Homework Issue and 5-Year-Old Discipline Issue

Posted on 12/28/2004

LEAVING CHILD BEHIND NEVER PROPER INSTEAD OF PRETENDING TO DRIVE OFF AS PUNISHMENT, PULL PRIVILEGES LATER ON Q: Yesterday, while I was helping my 7-year-old daughter review for her spelling...

4- and 8-Year-Old Unruly

Posted on 11/30/2004

UNRULINESS IS REACTION TO STRESS IN THE FAMILY Q: My husband and I have a 4-year-old boy and an 8-year-old girl. They both whine and cry when they do not get their way and do not seem to think...

8-Year-Old Not Wearing Glasses at School

Posted on 11/16/2004

Q: We recently discovered that our 8-year-old daughter is not wearing her new glasses at school. Even though they are really quite attractive, she says they make her look "nerdy." We have tried...

16-Year-Old With Many Issues

Posted on 8/10/2004

KEEP STEPSON GROUNDED FOR COMMUNITY'S SAKE Q: Life with my 16-year-old stepson, who lives with my husband and me because his mother is a mess, has been a battle from day one. School has always...

24-Month-Old Runs Away From Parent

Posted on 5/4/2004

CAN'T OUTRUN THAT 2-YEAR-OLD? OUTSMART HER Q: When I call my 24-month-old daughter to come to me, she takes off running like a bat out of you-know-where. She obviously thinks it's a game...

5-Year-Old Outbursts

Posted on 3/30/2004

DON'T WORRY ABOUT STOMPING Q: Our 5-year-old son, when he doesn't get his way or is told to do something he doesn't want to do, will sometimes give the floor or table one quick pound of the...

Defiant 4-Year-Old

Posted on 3/9/2004

DEFIANT CHILD NEEDS DOSE OF 'TICKETS' Q: I need help with my 4-year-old daughter. She is our second child and a major handful. As I write this letter she is in her room for the day, due to...

8-Year-Old Tells Mom "I Hate You!"

Posted on 1/13/2004

Q: Occasionally, when I discipline my 8-year-old daughter by, say, taking away a privilege because she's disobeyed me, she screams that she hates me. It seems to me that this is disrespectful....

20-Month-Old Climbing Into Crib for New Baby

Posted on 1/6/2004

CONSEQUENCES OFTEN LOST ON TOTS Q: I am expecting my third child in six months. I put up the baby's crib this week with the intention of teaching my 20-month-old "monkey" to stay out of it. She...

Too Many Consequences for 5-Year-Old

Posted on 1/6/2004

Q: The other evening, while playing a racing game, my 5-year-old began getting upset because he was not winning, so I shut off the game. At that point, he went absolutely ballistic, screaming that...

Disciplining 5-Year-Old Adopted Child

Posted on 11/25/2003

DON'T BE AFRAID TO DISCIPLINE ADOPTED CHILD Q: We recently adopted a 5-year-old girl from China who had spent her early childhood in an orphanage. Before bringing her home, we read several...

Disciplining 4- and 8-Year-Old at Grandparents for the Holidays

Posted on 11/11/2003

GRANDPARENTS WHO LET CHAOS REIGN YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM, SO JUST LIMIT THE TIME THEY'LL INDULGE YOUR KIDS Q: It has become tradition that every year, during the holidays, my entire family...

28-Month-Old Gets in Last Word

Posted on 11/4/2003

Q: What's the best way to handle a toddler - my 28-month-old son - who says "No" or "I'm not going to" (he doesn't yell, but his tone is haughty) when you tell him to do something, but complies...

4-Year-Old Refuses to Dress for School

Posted on 9/23/2003

A LITTLE DISCIPLINE WON'T DAMAGE CHILD Several columns ago, I related the story of an encounter with the mother of a defiant 4-year-old girl. The child had refused to dress for school in the...

Defiant 4-Year-Old

Posted on 9/2/2003

MOM WON BATTLE, NOT WAR AGAINST DEFIANCE The mother of a 4-year-old girl tells her daughter to dress for school. The child replies, with defiance dripping from every syllable, "I don't want to,...

15-Year-Old Refuses to Wear Bands on Braces

Posted on 8/5/2003

LIFE GETS SIMPLER WHEN PARENTS ARE STRICT I decided to depart from my usual format and let a reader write this column. Occasionally, I get letters from parents telling me how they've solved...

Does Time-Out Work with Agressive 2-Year-Old?

Posted on 7/22/2003

Q: Is it OK to use timeout with a child who's barely 2? While I was watching church nursery today, a 2-year-old boy started pushing and hitting the other children. I put him in a chair every time...

Most Effective Consequence for 28-Month-Old

Posted on 6/3/2003

Q: I have a friend who puts her 28-month-old son in his room for several hours if he does something really bad, such as bite her. When he's put there, he cries for a while, then plays. She uses a...

Today's Mom is Afraid of Her Child

Posted on 5/6/2003

TODAY'S MOM LIKELY FEARS HER CHILD A short collection of musings on the nature of parenting and its current condition in America: By the time your child is 24 months of age, he is making...

3-Year-Old Acting Out in Public Places

Posted on 4/8/2003

SHOW 3-YEAR-OLD SHE'LL PAY FOR FITS Q: My daughter and first child is 3 years, 8 months old. She is generally well-behaved except for a bad habit she has of screaming and running away from me...

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