John's Articles
Daughter Worries About Getting Sick Again
Posted on 4/18/2023
Q: Our 7-year-old daughter recently had a short-lived stomach virus. Ever since she has been fearful that eating may make her sick. Every night at dinner she becomes concerned that she’s...
Read MoreChild Mental Health Therapy: Any Proof It Does Any Good?
Posted on 8/30/2022
In a 6 – 3 decision, the Killingly, CT, school board recently said “no” to establishing a mental health center at its high school. I imagine most folks, upon hearing that, would be dismayed,...
Read MoreAvoid Telling Young Kids About Existential Threats
Posted on 1/18/2022
Q: My 3-year-old is fearful of trying anything new, including things that other kids his age love to do such as swinging on a swing, sliding down a slide, and splashing in a pool. I feel like I...
Read MoreChoose 1 of 2 Paths With Kids’ Anxieties
Posted on 11/9/2021
Q: I recently changed my almost 4-year-old son’s preschool. My son, once fearless, has become reluctant to simply get out of the car in the morning and go into the school. There’s always a...
Read MoreTalking About Children’s Fears Can Intensify Them
Posted on 8/17/2021
A stalwart friend recently called my attention to an online article titled “Two Things to Say to a Child Returning to In-Person School (& Two You Should Avoid).” I am choosing to provide...
Read MoreToday’s Kids Suffer a Lack of Common Sense in Their Lives
Posted on 12/22/2020
A journalist asks, “What is the biggest challenge facing today’s children?” “The real world,” I said. For the last fifty years or so, good parenting has been defined...
Read MoreHelping a Child Worried About Death
Posted on 8/18/2020
Q: We have a five-year-old who obsesses about dying. This has been going on for six months, ever since a child in the neighborhood died of a congenital genetic condition. Our son knew the boy and...
Read MoreKeep Calm and Carry On
Posted on 3/24/2020
Vital to a child’s sense of well-being are parents who act competent to provide adequate provision and protection under any and all circumstances. I often refer to that obligation...
Read MoreReplace Psychological With Old Fashioned Parenting
Posted on 9/24/2019
As my regular readers know, I am a certified heretic in my field: child and family psychology. To the point, I am convinced that psychological parenting theory, which began to inform American...
Read MoreTry the 'No-Talking Cure' for Childhood Fears
Posted on 2/7/2018
A true story: When my daughter, Amy, was a pre-teen, she became anxious about going to sleep because of fears of dying in the middle of the night. When I tucked her in (I was her preferred...
Read MoreParents Should Keep Kid With Irrational Fears Grounded
Posted on 9/27/2017
Q: Over the past year, our 4-year-old has developed several fears that have become quite disruptive. It started with a fear of dogs, which is inconvenient given that there are lots of dogs in our...
Read MoreUse Godfather Principle to Nip Fear of Doctor in the Bud
Posted on 9/20/2016
Q: Over the past year or so, our 5-year-old has developed an extreme fear of going to the doctor or dentist. This came on suddenly, without a precipitating incident. The crying begins when we...
Read MoreHave a Game Plan for Daughter's Anxiety
Posted on 6/28/2016
Q: My 8-year-old daughter is having anxiety issues that seem to border on obsessive-compulsive disorder. She wants me to repeat certain things back to her and has a set routine of things I must...
Read MoreDon't Turn Bedtime Fears Into a Disciplinary Issue
Posted on 4/5/2016
Q: My 6-year-old daughter watched too many episodes of a certain TV show when she was sick and now she doesn't want to go to sleep at night because she is having scary thoughts related to the...
Read MoreBedtime Fears
Posted on 3/10/2015
Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond Q: About six months ago, our four-year old daughter began complaining of being afraid to be alone at bedtime. Upon questioning, she told us she was...
Read MoreAnxiety and Panic Attacks in Teenagers
Posted on 2/24/2015
<b>Q: My 13-year-old son has developed overwhelming anxiety about going to school. This began a year ago, but has gotten steadily worse since then. At this point, he fights me every morning about...
Read MorePulling Her Hair Out
Posted on 7/15/2014
Q: Since our daughter, now 2 years old, was born we have lived with my parents. Being the first and only grandchild she has been the center of attention. Several months ago, our son was...
Read MoreHead Banging
Posted on 7/1/2014
Q: When he throws a tantrum, which happens several times a day, my 20-month-old often gets down on the floor and starts banging his head. Worried that he may hurt himself, I pick him up and...
Read MoreDon't laugh!
Posted on 3/25/2014
Q: Our 4-year-old daughter has a huge problem with being laughed at. She loves to be goofy and do funny things but as soon as someone, including one of us, laughs at her she becomes upset. She...
Read MoreGood Advice From 1951
Posted on 3/18/2014
I recently came across a 1951 article my late mother saved from the Charleston (SC) News and Courier. Titled "Agency Offers Pointers on How Parents Can Guide Their Child's Emotional...
Read MoreBiting Finger Nails: What to do?
Posted on 1/21/2014
Q: What can be done to stop a nineteen year old from biting his finger nails? This has been an ongoing habit from early childhood. He's obviously damaging his fingers and maybe even his teeth....
Read MoreOdd is just odd
Posted on 11/19/2013
The mother of a 4-year-old boy shared an interesting story with me the other day. At age 2, her son began chewing meat to the point where it became liquid, but would not swallow. The parents...
Read MoreExplaining School Shootings
Posted on 10/29/2013
A radio talk show recently called to ask how parents should explain school shootings to their kids. My answer: It depends. I prefer, for the most part, for parents to say nothing unless their...
Read MoreWhat News to Tell a Child
Posted on 9/17/2013
A 13-year-old Washington state boy was recently arrested, then released to the custody of his parents after making online threats of shooting up and blowing up his middle school. He also...
Read MoreRadical Parenting Philosophies
Posted on 6/18/2013
If my parents told me once, they told me at least one hundred times, "Don't talk to anyone about their religious or political beliefs." They meant, of course, that those topics are likely to...
Read MoreDon't 'Jump the gun' on bullying.
Posted on 8/14/2012
Q: My oldest child starts kindergarten soon. I know there will be the class and/or bus bully who will cause her some distress, whether directly or indirectly. I want to know how to handle it...
Read MoreTelling 3 YO about real parents
Posted on 8/15/2011
Q: My 3-year-old grandson lives with his grandmother and me. He calls me "Poppa" and his grandmother "Nanna." He sees and speaks to his mother on the phone only occasionally. His birth-father...
Read More3-Year-Old Girl Missing Dad
Posted on 8/2/2011
Tot's distress isn't about missing dad Q. My daughter will be 3 years old soon. Her father was primary caretaker until she was around 20 months, then he left and she hasn't seen him since. I...
Read More2-Year-Old Boy Separation Anxiety
Posted on 4/26/2011
Q: My husband and I are raising our 2-year-old grandson. He's been in day care since he was a year old. He loves his current day care, and we've had absolutely no problems until recently. All of a...
Read More30-Month-Old Boy Very Clingy
Posted on 7/13/2010
When toddler clings, don't give in Q: I'm a stay-at-home mom who attends a moms' group that meets every two weeks. Every time I leave my 30-month-old in the play group, which is supervised by...
Read More3-Year-Old Boy Does Not Like Play Group
Posted on 4/13/2010
Skip the play group Q: When our play group meets at a home other than our own, my nearly 3-year-old wants to leave within 30 minutes. When I try to persuade him to stay, he becomes very...
Read MorePressure, Anxiety, and Guilt of Today's Mothers
Posted on 3/23/2010
Hey, moms: There's more to life than raising children Q. My wife and I have been married for nearly 10 years. We have one child, a 3-year-old boy. Ever since our son was born, our marriage has...
Read MoreReadership Solutions: Sibling Conflict, Fears, and Mealtime
Posted on 1/5/2010
NEVER WITHOUT GOOD SOLUTIONS AS LONG AS READERS SHARE STORIES One of the wonderful things about my job is my readership, many of whom feed me material on a regular basis. Here's a sample of...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Clings to Mom
Posted on 10/27/2009
CURE FOR SCREAMING CLINGER Clever Solution of the Week: A couple of generations back and more, when parents still sought child-rearing advice from grandparents and other wise elders, those wise...
Read MoreKindergarten Separation Anxiety
Posted on 8/4/2009
TAKE THE DRAMA OUT OF DROP-OFF TIME Q: I've been a public school teacher for quite a few years, and I wanted your opinion on the problem of kindergarten and even older children throwing fits...
Read More10-Year-Old Girl Crying at Bedtime
Posted on 6/9/2009
*Good News from California: A mom from the Bay Area writes that after her father passed away last year, her 10-year-old daughter began crying every night at bedtime. The child's distress escalated...
Read More7-Year-Old Girl Performance Anxiety
Posted on 3/3/2009
DON'T FIGHT YOUR CHILD'S PERFORMANCE ANXIETY Q. Our 7-year-old daughter does well in school without our help and is a generally happy kid. Her only problem is an incapacitating case of...
Read More4-Year-Old Boy's Fear of the Dark and Being Left Alone
Posted on 9/23/2008
3 STRIKES AND HE SEES THE LIGHT Another mother shares how she solved her 4-year-old son's fear of the dark and fear of being left alone. He would not go into dark areas of the house, although...
Read MoreParent Being Deployed
Posted on 8/19/2008
WHEN A PARENT IS BEING DEPLOYED, KEEP THE EXPLANATIONS SIMPLE A timely conversation recently started on my Web site (www.rosemond.com) when the mother of two children, ages 2 and 4, asked how...
Read More3-Year-Old Girl Afraid of Elderly Neighbor
Posted on 8/5/2008
CHILD'S SUDDEN FEAR IS NOTHING PERSONAL Q: My 3-year-old daughter is suddenly acting afraid of our elderly neighbor, who has been a constant presence in her life since day one. Admittedly, he...
Read More10-Year-Old Boy's Sad Poem Does Not Need Psychiatric Evaluation
Posted on 4/15/2008
SAD MOOD IN HIS POEM DOESN'T MEAN 10-YEAR-OLD IS FALLING APART I got a letter from a child psychiatrist scolding me for not recommending a psychiatric evaluation for a 10-year-old boy who used...
Read More10-Year-Old Boy's Poem Worries Mom
Posted on 3/25/2008
Son's poem worries mom My 10-year-old son wrote an autobiographical poem as a school assignment. The assignment was to write about what he dreams, wants and fears. He wrote, in part, "Dreams I...
Read More10-Year-Old Boy Sensitive To Good and Bad of the World
Posted on 1/1/2008
If a child develops a bit of a runny nose, but seems otherwise healthy, it doesn't make a lot of sense to make a visit to the doctor much less rush to the emergency room. If, however, the child...
Read More13 - Month - Old Child Having Difficulty Adjusting To Daycare
Posted on 11/20/2007
TAKING BUNNY AWAY ONLY ADDS TO TOT'S FEELINGS OF INSECURITY Q. I work at a day care where a 13-month-old child is having difficulty adjusting. She has a rash around her mouth from constant...
Read More2-Year-Old Child Being Clingy
Posted on 10/16/2007
COPING WITH A CLINGY CHILD; A SOLUTION FOR SIBLING BATTLES Q. Our family just moved to a new city and my 2 1/2-year-old son won't do anything during the day but follow me around. If I give...
Read MoreYoung Girl Being Picked On At School
Posted on 10/9/2007
YOUNG DAUGHTER'S SOB STORIES NEED THE FINAL CONVERSATION Q. My daughter has several friends in her fourth-grade class that seem to love drama. They pick on one another a good deal, and my...
Read More5-Year-Old Anxious About Going To Kindergarten
Posted on 10/2/2007
Anxious kindergartner Q. Despite the fact that our 5-year-old daughter has an end-of-July birthday, my husband and I decided she was ready for kindergarten. The first week went great. She...
Read More8-Year-Old Fear of Getting Sick Again
Posted on 11/21/2006
HOW TO RELIEVE A CHILD'S FEAR OF ILLNESS Q: My 8-year-old daughter recently had what we believe was a stomach virus. Now, every night she is concerned that she'll become sick again and breaks...
Read More3-Year-Old Moving to a New Home
Posted on 10/24/2006
Moving day From the "I Told You So" Department: I recently answered a reader's question concerning preparing her not-yet-3-year-old daughter for the family's upcoming move by pointing out that...
Read More30-Month-Old Moving to New House
Posted on 9/19/2006
Make moving an adventure Q: When and how we should begin preparing our 30-month-old daughter for moving to a new house? Should we tell her a few weeks ahead of time or the week of the move?...
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