John's Articles

7-Year-Old Boy Dealing with Bully

Posted on 1/12/2010

ADVISE SON TO STAY OUT OF THE WAY OF POTENTIAL BULLY Q. My 7-year-old home-schooled son, whose personality is generally sweet and somewhat goofy, goes to a 4-hour class once a week with five...

Ex-Wife Giving Lavish Gifts to 7-Year-Old Daughter

Posted on 1/12/2010

Stop lavish gifts from ex Q. Both my husband and I have 7-year-olds from previous marriages. My husband's ex-wife routinely sends her daughter home from visits with new presents. The last few...

6-Year-Old Boy Lying

Posted on 11/3/2009

Nip that lying in the bud Q. My 6-year-old has recently started lying. His favorite sentence is "I didn't do anything." Even when I catch him in a lie he denies being at fault. I calmly and...

6th Grader Required to Watch TV by School

Posted on 10/20/2009

Along the same lines: A mother relates that her daughter's sixth-grade science teacher assigned the class to watch "American Idol." The mother writes, "We told our daughter to forget it, it wasn't...

Kindergartener Questionnaire

Posted on 10/20/2009

KINDERGARTEN QUESTIONNAIRE A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY Q. My kindergartener brought home a questionnaire that asks: Do you like your class? Do you have friends in your class? Does your teacher...

Consequence Needs to Produce Permanent Memory for 6-Year-Old Tantrum

Posted on 9/29/2009

ISSUING CONSEQUENCES EQUALS WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN From the Mailbag: A Charlotte woman writes to the Observer that I should get out in the real world more and meet the "mothers and fathers of...

Kindergarten Separation Anxiety

Posted on 8/4/2009

TAKE THE DRAMA OUT OF DROP-OFF TIME Q: I've been a public school teacher for quite a few years, and I wanted your opinion on the problem of kindergarten and even older children throwing fits...

Parents Concerned About 10-Year-Old Daughter's Teacher Assignment

Posted on 7/28/2009

PARENTS CONCERNED ABOUT CHILD'S TEACHER ASSIGNMENT Q. Our 10-year-old daughter has been assigned to a third-grade teacher whom we feel is not a good "fit" for her. This teacher has a reputation...

6-Year-Old Boy Spitting

Posted on 7/21/2009

OLD CURE FOR STUBBORN KIDS From the Great Ideas Department: A veteran teacher writes that she had a 6-year-old male student who spit constantly during recess. ( I wonder from whom this child...

10-Year-Old Girl Crying at Bedtime

Posted on 6/9/2009

*Good News from California: A mom from the Bay Area writes that after her father passed away last year, her 10-year-old daughter began crying every night at bedtime. The child's distress escalated...

7-Year-Old Girl Performance Anxiety

Posted on 3/3/2009

DON'T FIGHT YOUR CHILD'S PERFORMANCE ANXIETY Q. Our 7-year-old daughter does well in school without our help and is a generally happy kid. Her only problem is an incapacitating case of...

Use Chair of Wisdom for 8-Year-Old and 10-Year-Old Girls

Posted on 1/27/2009

IF 'NO' DOESN'T WORK, GET THE CHAIR OF WISDOM Q. Our 8- and 10-year-old daughters came to me and asked if they could go to the movies with two friends from school that they wanted to "get to...

6-Year-Old Boy Interest in War-Like Games

Posted on 10/28/2008

INTEREST IN WAR-LIKE GAMES NOT UNUSUAL FOR BOYS Q: My happy 6-year-old son has started incorporating death and war-like games into his play. He has never been a mean-spirited child, but his dad...

Give Older Children Some Freedom

Posted on 10/21/2008

GIVE OLDER CHILDREN SOME FREEDOM TO ROAM From the time I was 12, my parents would let me walk from our house in Westchester, Ill., to the bus stop five blocks away, catch a bus to the...

7-Year-Old Girl Not Helping Around the House

Posted on 9/2/2008

GIVE HELPFUL SIS A 'VACATION' Q. My 7-year-old, Michelle, has a wonderful example in her 12-year-old sister, Emma. Emma is very helpful around the house. She even asks me if there's anything I...

7-Year-Old Girl's Diary Upsets Dad

Posted on 7/29/2008

ONLY ALARMING BEHAVIOR JUSTIFIES SNOOPING IN DIARY Q: My husband read our 7-year-old daughter's composition book that she had been using as a diary and became upset at some of the things she...

6-Year-Old Boys - Moaning, Eye Rolling, Door Slamming, Stomping

Posted on 7/22/2008

TRY '3 STRIKES' WITH REBELLIOUS 6-YEAR-OLDS Q: How should we handle the noises (moaning), the gestures (eye rolling) and the posturing (door slamming, stomping) that ensue so often around here...

Personality nor Behavior is Fixed by Age 6

Posted on 7/8/2008

IS AGE 6 REALLY TOO LATE TO CHANGE A CHILD'S BEHAVIOR? Q. I've always heard that a child's character and personality are pretty well set by the time he/she is 5 or 6 years old, and that any...

10-Year-Old Boy's Sad Poem Does Not Need Psychiatric Evaluation

Posted on 4/15/2008

SAD MOOD IN HIS POEM DOESN'T MEAN 10-YEAR-OLD IS FALLING APART I got a letter from a child psychiatrist scolding me for not recommending a psychiatric evaluation for a 10-year-old boy who used...

First Grade Boy Zoning Out in Class

Posted on 3/25/2008

'ZONING OUT' COULD BE SEIZURE In a recent column, I answered a question from the mother of a first-grade boy who frequently "zoned out" in class and rarely finished classwork. I recommended...

10-Year-Old Boy's Poem Worries Mom

Posted on 3/25/2008

Son's poem worries mom My 10-year-old son wrote an autobiographical poem as a school assignment. The assignment was to write about what he dreams, wants and fears. He wrote, in part, "Dreams I...

Boy Siblings Speak Mean to One Another

Posted on 3/18/2008

WHEN CHILDREN SQUABBLE, IT'S USUALLY BEST NOT TO INTERVENE Q. Should I punish my boys - ages 12, 9, and 8 - when they speak very meanly to one another? They say things like "You're stupid" and...

First Grade Boy Zones Out in Class

Posted on 3/11/2008

FOR WAKE-UP CALL, TRY EARLY BEDTIME My first-grade son's teacher says he frequently "zones out" and doesn't finish assignments in class, even simple things like coloring each number on the page...

7-Year-Old Boy Talking Back, Arguing, and Lying

Posted on 3/4/2008

PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...

6-Year-Old Boy Does Not Want to Play with 4-Year-Old Brother

Posted on 2/26/2008

DON'T FORCE SIBLINGS TO PLAY TOGETHER Q. My boys are 6 and 4. My older son prefers playing by himself, and when I require him to share with his younger brother, he will just quit what he is...

6-Year-Old Boy Whining, Throwing Tantrums, Running Away from Parents

Posted on 1/22/2008

ACT YOUR AGE, OR IT'S PARADISE LOST Q. We recently kicked our 6-year-old out of the Garden of Eden for constant whining, frequent tantrums, running away in stores, and other behaviors typical...

7-Year-Old Girl Bossy to Others

Posted on 1/22/2008

Dealing with a bossy daughter Q. My 7-year-old daughter is often quite bossy to her sister and other playmates. I know I should not get involved, but it is difficult for me to keep my mouth...

10-Year-Old Boy Sensitive To Good and Bad of the World

Posted on 1/1/2008

If a child develops a bit of a runny nose, but seems otherwise healthy, it doesn't make a lot of sense to make a visit to the doctor much less rush to the emergency room. If, however, the child...

7-Year-Old Boy Homework Issues

Posted on 11/6/2007

GIVE SON THE FREEDOM TO SET HIS OWN HOMEWORK SCHEDULE Q: My 7-year-old second-grader would prefer to come home from school and play with his friend across the street. The rule in our home,...

6-Year-Old Boy Throwing Wild Tantrums

Posted on 10/30/2007

ARE BRAIN CHEMICALS TO BLAME FOR 6-YEAR-OLD'S BAD BEHAVIOR? Recently the parents of a 6-year-old boy asked my advice concerning his daily, sometimes violent tantrums which had been ongoing...

7-Year-Old Girl Loses Control Of Emotions

Posted on 10/23/2007

'I'm so stupid!' Q. My 7-year-old tried to leave a phone message and it did not go well. She started off great and then drew a blank and started getting mad while the message was still...

Young Girl Being Picked On At School

Posted on 10/9/2007

YOUNG DAUGHTER'S SOB STORIES NEED THE FINAL CONVERSATION Q. My daughter has several friends in her fourth-grade class that seem to love drama. They pick on one another a good deal, and my...

Child Having A Friend Much Younger

Posted on 10/2/2007

IS IT ODD FOR A CHILD TO PLAY WITH A MUCH YOUNGER BOY? Q. My sixth-grade son sometimes plays with a neighbor boy who is nearly four years younger and in the second grade. When they were...

School Uniforms Restrict Kids Choices

Posted on 8/14/2007

SCHOOL UNIFORMS RESTRICT KIDS' CHOICES (THAT'S A GOOD THING) Whenever I hear parents arguing for their children's "right of expression," I can't help but suspect that these are parents who...

4-Year-Old Boy Who Asks Nonstop Questions

Posted on 7/24/2007

CHILD'S CURIOSITY GETS OUT OF CONTROL HERE'S A WAY TO LIMIT QUESTIONS TO THOSE THAT REALLY NEED ANSWERING Q: I have a 4-year-old son who starts asking questions when he gets up in the...

Youngsters Don't Need To Use Computers

Posted on 7/3/2007

YOUNGSTERS DON'T NEED TO USE COMPUTERS Q: The first time our children visited the grandparents this summer, Grandpa began asking the oldest if he was going to computer camp this summer, if he...

6-Year-Old Not Very Affectionate

Posted on 6/19/2007

SON DOESN'T WANT A KISS? THIS IS NOT A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE Q: Our 6-year-old son, who was a 30-week preemie, does not receive affection very well - only when initiated by him, which is not...

7-Year-Old Drama Queen

Posted on 6/5/2007

WOEFUL 7-YEAR-OLD NEEDS HELP TO END HER SELF-PITY PARTY Q:Help! My 7-year-old was the happiest baby and toddler, but then around 4 developed a "victim" personality. "No one listens to me"...

Ticket Method for Discipline

Posted on 5/1/2007

WANT A WAY TO TRAIN CHILDREN TO BEHAVE? HERE'S THE TICKET Q: John, several other parents have told me about your "ticket" method for dealing with misbehavior, but I wonder if I can get it...

Kindergartener with Attitude and Sassy Talk

Posted on 2/6/2007

Little Jekyll and Hyde Q: Every morning, I send my sweet, well-behaved son to kindergarten and every evening I face a teenager. When I tell him to do or stop doing something, he gives me an...

7-Year-Old Sleeping Problems Leads to Marriage Issues

Posted on 1/2/2007

Mom sleeps alone Q: My husband and I are older parents of a 7-year-old. From the very beginning, our son slept with us because my husband couldn't stand to listen to him cry. That has since...

9-Year-Old Wants to Walk to School

Posted on 11/28/2006

IS IT TOO DANGEROUS TO ALLOW 9-YEAR-OLD TO WALK TO SCHOOL? Q: Our 9-year-old daughter wants to walk the 15 minutes to school and back by herself. She is very trustworthy, but we are worried...

8-Year-Old Fear of Getting Sick Again

Posted on 11/21/2006

HOW TO RELIEVE A CHILD'S FEAR OF ILLNESS Q: My 8-year-old daughter recently had what we believe was a stomach virus. Now, every night she is concerned that she'll become sick again and breaks...

Rude, Disrespectful 8-Year-Old Has Bullying Behavior

Posted on 11/14/2006

STOP 8-YEAR-OLD'S BULLYING BEHAVIOR BEFORE IT GETS WORSE Q: My 8-year-old son is a poor sport. He's been asked to leave several sports programs because of rudeness to other players and...

6-Year-Old Music Lessons

Posted on 10/31/2006

6-YEAR-OLD IS ASKING TO TAKE EVEN MORE MUSIC LESSONS Q: Our 6-year-old son has taken accordion lessons for almost nine months. He loved it at first, but his enthusiasm has waned. I now have to...

8-Year-Old Motormouth is Loud and Constantly Interrupts

Posted on 9/12/2006

HOW TO CURE A 'MOTORMOUTH' Q: Our 8-year-old son has had some self-centeredness issues that we've been working on since he was a toddler, the latest manifestation of which is excessive, loud...

6-Year-Old Properly Challenged at School

Posted on 9/5/2006

Relax, it's kindergarten Q: Several other moms have given me unsolicited advice that I will need to make sure my son, who is turning 6 in a few weeks and entering public kindergarten this fall,...

6-Year-Old Clothing Issue

Posted on 8/29/2006

LET 6-YEAR-OLD DECIDE WHAT SHE WANTS TO WEAR TO SCHOOL Q: My 6-year-old daughter has had issues with clothes for a couple of years now. We lay her clothes out before bed, but in the morning she...

6-Year-Old Separation Anxiety

Posted on 8/22/2006

Separation anxiety Q: My 6-year-old son is still experiencing separation anxiety about going to school, to a friend's house, or whatever. I am a homemaker, and he has never been in day care....

7- and 9-Year-Old Household Chores

Posted on 7/25/2006

Chores on Sunday Q: My husband and I agree that our two girls, ages 7 and 9, should make their beds and keep their rooms clean, but I am for giving them Sunday off from chores, and he feels...

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