John's Articles
7-Year-Old Boy Dealing with Bully
Posted on 1/12/2010
ADVISE SON TO STAY OUT OF THE WAY OF POTENTIAL BULLY Q. My 7-year-old home-schooled son, whose personality is generally sweet and somewhat goofy, goes to a 4-hour class once a week with five...
Read MoreEx-Wife Giving Lavish Gifts to 7-Year-Old Daughter
Posted on 1/12/2010
Stop lavish gifts from ex Q. Both my husband and I have 7-year-olds from previous marriages. My husband's ex-wife routinely sends her daughter home from visits with new presents. The last few...
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Lying
Posted on 11/3/2009
Nip that lying in the bud Q. My 6-year-old has recently started lying. His favorite sentence is "I didn't do anything." Even when I catch him in a lie he denies being at fault. I calmly and...
Read More6th Grader Required to Watch TV by School
Posted on 10/20/2009
Along the same lines: A mother relates that her daughter's sixth-grade science teacher assigned the class to watch "American Idol." The mother writes, "We told our daughter to forget it, it wasn't...
Read MoreKindergartener Questionnaire
Posted on 10/20/2009
KINDERGARTEN QUESTIONNAIRE A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY Q. My kindergartener brought home a questionnaire that asks: Do you like your class? Do you have friends in your class? Does your teacher...
Read MoreConsequence Needs to Produce Permanent Memory for 6-Year-Old Tantrum
Posted on 9/29/2009
ISSUING CONSEQUENCES EQUALS WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN From the Mailbag: A Charlotte woman writes to the Observer that I should get out in the real world more and meet the "mothers and fathers of...
Read MoreKindergarten Separation Anxiety
Posted on 8/4/2009
TAKE THE DRAMA OUT OF DROP-OFF TIME Q: I've been a public school teacher for quite a few years, and I wanted your opinion on the problem of kindergarten and even older children throwing fits...
Read MoreParents Concerned About 10-Year-Old Daughter's Teacher Assignment
Posted on 7/28/2009
PARENTS CONCERNED ABOUT CHILD'S TEACHER ASSIGNMENT Q. Our 10-year-old daughter has been assigned to a third-grade teacher whom we feel is not a good "fit" for her. This teacher has a reputation...
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Spitting
Posted on 7/21/2009
OLD CURE FOR STUBBORN KIDS From the Great Ideas Department: A veteran teacher writes that she had a 6-year-old male student who spit constantly during recess. ( I wonder from whom this child...
Read More10-Year-Old Girl Crying at Bedtime
Posted on 6/9/2009
*Good News from California: A mom from the Bay Area writes that after her father passed away last year, her 10-year-old daughter began crying every night at bedtime. The child's distress escalated...
Read More7-Year-Old Girl Performance Anxiety
Posted on 3/3/2009
DON'T FIGHT YOUR CHILD'S PERFORMANCE ANXIETY Q. Our 7-year-old daughter does well in school without our help and is a generally happy kid. Her only problem is an incapacitating case of...
Read MoreUse Chair of Wisdom for 8-Year-Old and 10-Year-Old Girls
Posted on 1/27/2009
IF 'NO' DOESN'T WORK, GET THE CHAIR OF WISDOM Q. Our 8- and 10-year-old daughters came to me and asked if they could go to the movies with two friends from school that they wanted to "get to...
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Interest in War-Like Games
Posted on 10/28/2008
INTEREST IN WAR-LIKE GAMES NOT UNUSUAL FOR BOYS Q: My happy 6-year-old son has started incorporating death and war-like games into his play. He has never been a mean-spirited child, but his dad...
Read MoreGive Older Children Some Freedom
Posted on 10/21/2008
GIVE OLDER CHILDREN SOME FREEDOM TO ROAM From the time I was 12, my parents would let me walk from our house in Westchester, Ill., to the bus stop five blocks away, catch a bus to the...
Read More7-Year-Old Girl Not Helping Around the House
Posted on 9/2/2008
GIVE HELPFUL SIS A 'VACATION' Q. My 7-year-old, Michelle, has a wonderful example in her 12-year-old sister, Emma. Emma is very helpful around the house. She even asks me if there's anything I...
Read More7-Year-Old Girl's Diary Upsets Dad
Posted on 7/29/2008
ONLY ALARMING BEHAVIOR JUSTIFIES SNOOPING IN DIARY Q: My husband read our 7-year-old daughter's composition book that she had been using as a diary and became upset at some of the things she...
Read More6-Year-Old Boys - Moaning, Eye Rolling, Door Slamming, Stomping
Posted on 7/22/2008
TRY '3 STRIKES' WITH REBELLIOUS 6-YEAR-OLDS Q: How should we handle the noises (moaning), the gestures (eye rolling) and the posturing (door slamming, stomping) that ensue so often around here...
Read MorePersonality nor Behavior is Fixed by Age 6
Posted on 7/8/2008
IS AGE 6 REALLY TOO LATE TO CHANGE A CHILD'S BEHAVIOR? Q. I've always heard that a child's character and personality are pretty well set by the time he/she is 5 or 6 years old, and that any...
Read More10-Year-Old Boy's Sad Poem Does Not Need Psychiatric Evaluation
Posted on 4/15/2008
SAD MOOD IN HIS POEM DOESN'T MEAN 10-YEAR-OLD IS FALLING APART I got a letter from a child psychiatrist scolding me for not recommending a psychiatric evaluation for a 10-year-old boy who used...
Read MoreFirst Grade Boy Zoning Out in Class
Posted on 3/25/2008
'ZONING OUT' COULD BE SEIZURE In a recent column, I answered a question from the mother of a first-grade boy who frequently "zoned out" in class and rarely finished classwork. I recommended...
Read More10-Year-Old Boy's Poem Worries Mom
Posted on 3/25/2008
Son's poem worries mom My 10-year-old son wrote an autobiographical poem as a school assignment. The assignment was to write about what he dreams, wants and fears. He wrote, in part, "Dreams I...
Read MoreBoy Siblings Speak Mean to One Another
Posted on 3/18/2008
WHEN CHILDREN SQUABBLE, IT'S USUALLY BEST NOT TO INTERVENE Q. Should I punish my boys - ages 12, 9, and 8 - when they speak very meanly to one another? They say things like "You're stupid" and...
Read MoreFirst Grade Boy Zones Out in Class
Posted on 3/11/2008
FOR WAKE-UP CALL, TRY EARLY BEDTIME My first-grade son's teacher says he frequently "zones out" and doesn't finish assignments in class, even simple things like coloring each number on the page...
Read More7-Year-Old Boy Talking Back, Arguing, and Lying
Posted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Does Not Want to Play with 4-Year-Old Brother
Posted on 2/26/2008
DON'T FORCE SIBLINGS TO PLAY TOGETHER Q. My boys are 6 and 4. My older son prefers playing by himself, and when I require him to share with his younger brother, he will just quit what he is...
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Whining, Throwing Tantrums, Running Away from Parents
Posted on 1/22/2008
ACT YOUR AGE, OR IT'S PARADISE LOST Q. We recently kicked our 6-year-old out of the Garden of Eden for constant whining, frequent tantrums, running away in stores, and other behaviors typical...
Read More7-Year-Old Girl Bossy to Others
Posted on 1/22/2008
Dealing with a bossy daughter Q. My 7-year-old daughter is often quite bossy to her sister and other playmates. I know I should not get involved, but it is difficult for me to keep my mouth...
Read More10-Year-Old Boy Sensitive To Good and Bad of the World
Posted on 1/1/2008
If a child develops a bit of a runny nose, but seems otherwise healthy, it doesn't make a lot of sense to make a visit to the doctor much less rush to the emergency room. If, however, the child...
Read More7-Year-Old Boy Homework Issues
Posted on 11/6/2007
GIVE SON THE FREEDOM TO SET HIS OWN HOMEWORK SCHEDULE Q: My 7-year-old second-grader would prefer to come home from school and play with his friend across the street. The rule in our home,...
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Throwing Wild Tantrums
Posted on 10/30/2007
ARE BRAIN CHEMICALS TO BLAME FOR 6-YEAR-OLD'S BAD BEHAVIOR? Recently the parents of a 6-year-old boy asked my advice concerning his daily, sometimes violent tantrums which had been ongoing...
Read More7-Year-Old Girl Loses Control Of Emotions
Posted on 10/23/2007
'I'm so stupid!' Q. My 7-year-old tried to leave a phone message and it did not go well. She started off great and then drew a blank and started getting mad while the message was still...
Read MoreYoung Girl Being Picked On At School
Posted on 10/9/2007
YOUNG DAUGHTER'S SOB STORIES NEED THE FINAL CONVERSATION Q. My daughter has several friends in her fourth-grade class that seem to love drama. They pick on one another a good deal, and my...
Read MoreChild Having A Friend Much Younger
Posted on 10/2/2007
IS IT ODD FOR A CHILD TO PLAY WITH A MUCH YOUNGER BOY? Q. My sixth-grade son sometimes plays with a neighbor boy who is nearly four years younger and in the second grade. When they were...
Read MoreSchool Uniforms Restrict Kids Choices
Posted on 8/14/2007
SCHOOL UNIFORMS RESTRICT KIDS' CHOICES (THAT'S A GOOD THING) Whenever I hear parents arguing for their children's "right of expression," I can't help but suspect that these are parents who...
Read More4-Year-Old Boy Who Asks Nonstop Questions
Posted on 7/24/2007
CHILD'S CURIOSITY GETS OUT OF CONTROL HERE'S A WAY TO LIMIT QUESTIONS TO THOSE THAT REALLY NEED ANSWERING Q: I have a 4-year-old son who starts asking questions when he gets up in the...
Read MoreYoungsters Don't Need To Use Computers
Posted on 7/3/2007
YOUNGSTERS DON'T NEED TO USE COMPUTERS Q: The first time our children visited the grandparents this summer, Grandpa began asking the oldest if he was going to computer camp this summer, if he...
Read More6-Year-Old Not Very Affectionate
Posted on 6/19/2007
SON DOESN'T WANT A KISS? THIS IS NOT A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE Q: Our 6-year-old son, who was a 30-week preemie, does not receive affection very well - only when initiated by him, which is not...
Read More7-Year-Old Drama Queen
Posted on 6/5/2007
WOEFUL 7-YEAR-OLD NEEDS HELP TO END HER SELF-PITY PARTY Q:Help! My 7-year-old was the happiest baby and toddler, but then around 4 developed a "victim" personality. "No one listens to me"...
Read MoreTicket Method for Discipline
Posted on 5/1/2007
WANT A WAY TO TRAIN CHILDREN TO BEHAVE? HERE'S THE TICKET Q: John, several other parents have told me about your "ticket" method for dealing with misbehavior, but I wonder if I can get it...
Read MoreKindergartener with Attitude and Sassy Talk
Posted on 2/6/2007
Little Jekyll and Hyde Q: Every morning, I send my sweet, well-behaved son to kindergarten and every evening I face a teenager. When I tell him to do or stop doing something, he gives me an...
Read More7-Year-Old Sleeping Problems Leads to Marriage Issues
Posted on 1/2/2007
Mom sleeps alone Q: My husband and I are older parents of a 7-year-old. From the very beginning, our son slept with us because my husband couldn't stand to listen to him cry. That has since...
Read More9-Year-Old Wants to Walk to School
Posted on 11/28/2006
IS IT TOO DANGEROUS TO ALLOW 9-YEAR-OLD TO WALK TO SCHOOL? Q: Our 9-year-old daughter wants to walk the 15 minutes to school and back by herself. She is very trustworthy, but we are worried...
Read More8-Year-Old Fear of Getting Sick Again
Posted on 11/21/2006
HOW TO RELIEVE A CHILD'S FEAR OF ILLNESS Q: My 8-year-old daughter recently had what we believe was a stomach virus. Now, every night she is concerned that she'll become sick again and breaks...
Read MoreRude, Disrespectful 8-Year-Old Has Bullying Behavior
Posted on 11/14/2006
STOP 8-YEAR-OLD'S BULLYING BEHAVIOR BEFORE IT GETS WORSE Q: My 8-year-old son is a poor sport. He's been asked to leave several sports programs because of rudeness to other players and...
Read More6-Year-Old Music Lessons
Posted on 10/31/2006
6-YEAR-OLD IS ASKING TO TAKE EVEN MORE MUSIC LESSONS Q: Our 6-year-old son has taken accordion lessons for almost nine months. He loved it at first, but his enthusiasm has waned. I now have to...
Read More8-Year-Old Motormouth is Loud and Constantly Interrupts
Posted on 9/12/2006
HOW TO CURE A 'MOTORMOUTH' Q: Our 8-year-old son has had some self-centeredness issues that we've been working on since he was a toddler, the latest manifestation of which is excessive, loud...
Read More6-Year-Old Properly Challenged at School
Posted on 9/5/2006
Relax, it's kindergarten Q: Several other moms have given me unsolicited advice that I will need to make sure my son, who is turning 6 in a few weeks and entering public kindergarten this fall,...
Read More6-Year-Old Clothing Issue
Posted on 8/29/2006
LET 6-YEAR-OLD DECIDE WHAT SHE WANTS TO WEAR TO SCHOOL Q: My 6-year-old daughter has had issues with clothes for a couple of years now. We lay her clothes out before bed, but in the morning she...
Read More6-Year-Old Separation Anxiety
Posted on 8/22/2006
Separation anxiety Q: My 6-year-old son is still experiencing separation anxiety about going to school, to a friend's house, or whatever. I am a homemaker, and he has never been in day care....
Read More7- and 9-Year-Old Household Chores
Posted on 7/25/2006
Chores on Sunday Q: My husband and I agree that our two girls, ages 7 and 9, should make their beds and keep their rooms clean, but I am for giving them Sunday off from chores, and he feels...
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