John's Articles

Using Consequences

Posted on 4/14/2015

Fear Trumps Facts

Posted on 4/7/2015

Stressing Out Over Children

Posted on 3/31/2015

I’ve asked the men in several recent audiences to raise hands if they believe moms stress out concerning their children at least five times more than dads. All the men’s hands went up to general...

Leaving Well Enough Alone

Posted on 3/17/2015

Alarming Trends

Posted on 3/3/2015

In the 1960s, child and teen mental health and behavior problems began an alarming rise that has continued to the present. In 1970, one of my grad school professors proposed that this trend could...

Not All Outcomes Are Equal

Posted on 2/17/2015

The Vaccination Debate

Posted on 2/10/2015

Following Up on JPN

Posted on 1/27/2015

Expanding a Teen's Freedom with Fiscal Program

Posted on 1/13/2015

Teenagers are highly motivated by any opportunity to expand their freedom. More freedom is in fact THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL MOTIVATORS for teens. I wouldn’t have put it in capitals if it wasn’t. ...

New Parenting Ailment

Posted on 1/5/2015

Four Attributes of Authority

Posted on 12/30/2014

Who are the happier campers in a workplace setting: the employees who (a) obey the rules, follow the procedures, and voice any complaints respectfully, such that the entire workplace is not...

Losing Tickets on the Ticket System

Posted on 12/16/2014

Q: I’ve been trying for two months with little to no success to get your “ticket” system to work on my 4-year-old daughter. The target behaviors are ignoring me when I tell her to do...

Newly Academic Nature of Most Preschools

Posted on 11/25/2014

Courtesy of my friend and parent coach Janet Carter (www.ourchildishways.com), comes an interesting story: The parents of a 4-year-old girl went to a preschool parent conference to...

Sound Advice in Several Departments

Posted on 11/18/2014

From the I’m Sorry to Have to Tell You Department: Parents who say they want to raise kids who “think for themselves” are not being exactly truthful. It’s a nice and very democratic...

Parent Involvement

Posted on 11/11/2014

Why are young adult children emancipating so much later than they did in 1970, when the average age of male emancipation (independent living, paying one’s own bills) was 21? Why do...

An Example in Parenting Minimalism

Posted on 11/4/2014

Q: My 6-year-old son argues with me about everything I tell him to do. He comes up with reason after reason why he shouldn’t have to or can’t, why it’s unfair, or why, at the least, I...

The Driving Force in American Parenting

Posted on 10/21/2014

Since the beginning of the 2014-2015 school year, several elementary teachers have asked me why so many of today’s kids come to school with anxiety issues. That’s a good question, one...

Roadblocks to Success in Classroom Discipline

Posted on 10/14/2014

A first-grade teacher asks what she can do about a girl in her class who is completely undisciplined. After nearly two months of this teacher’s best efforts, the child’s behavior is no better. She...

The Teenage Brain

Posted on 9/30/2014

I’ve spoken at several conferences in the last year or so where presenters were opining on the subject of the teenage brain. Their thesis was that features of the so-called “teenage brain” are...

Apache Blackhawk Parenting

Posted on 9/23/2014

A second-grade teacher writes: “I teach in a very competitive school where parents have developed a ‘mob mentality’ for bullying administrators and teachers. They have gone beyond helicopter...

Pull-Ups & Adoption Age

Posted on 9/16/2014

Q: My 23-month-old son does well with potty training when we’re at home. We use a “potty bell” and he goes every 90 minutes or so. When we’re away from home, however, he seems clueless. He...

Teens & Sleep

Posted on 9/2/2014

New research finds that teens whose school days begin later than the national norm of approximately eight o’clock achieve at higher levels than teens who start school earlier. The researchers in...

Parental Speech

Posted on 8/26/2014

As the old parenting point of view fell out of fashion beginning in the late 1960s, the vernacular that accompanied it all but completely disappeared. Today’s parents don’t say to...

Impulse Control: A Hallmark of Life

Posted on 8/5/2014

A mom recently asked me what I would say to my son if he was twelve years old and wanted a Mohawk haircut for the summer. I told her I’d say no. “But is it really that...

Sassy Children

Posted on 7/8/2014

Q: The "sassiness" that I have heard so much about from my friends started a few months ago with my 5-year-old daughter. She will say things to me that I actually find myself tongue-tied on how or...

Head Banging

Posted on 7/1/2014

Q: When he throws a tantrum, which happens several times a day, my 20-month-old often gets down on the floor and starts banging his head. Worried that he may hurt himself, I pick him up and...

Potty Training: It's a process

Posted on 6/24/2014

Q: My 26-month-old daughter will go on the potty happily every hour when told (we’re using your “potty bell” and it’s working extremely well) and produces every time. As a result, she’s having...

Staying on the Same Page

Posted on 5/27/2014

“How can my spouse and I get on the same page where the kids are concerned?” is both the most difficult question parents ask me and also the most important. It is the most difficult because each...

Defiant behavior at school

Posted on 5/13/2014

Q: For the past few months, our usually compliant 4-year-old son has been having problems with defiant behavior at school. He often refuses to do what he is told by the teacher. What concerns us...

Teen has bad Attitude at home

Posted on 5/6/2014

Q: Our 13-year-old daughter has a very bad attitude, mostly when it comes to our family. She stays in her room most of the time, reading, and only participates in family activities if we force...

Four Year Old Baby Talk

Posted on 4/29/2014

Q: Our 4-year-old son (middle child with older and younger sisters) frequently uses "baby talk". It doesn't seem to be a way of seeking attention, because when we ask him to repeat in his "big...

Teen Will Not Brush Teeth

Posted on 4/29/2014

Q: My 14-year-old son does not brush his teeth, except during the week before going to the dentist. He doesn't have any cavities, his breath is fine, his check-ups at the dentist are at the...

Piling On

Posted on 4/28/2014

In football, "piling on" occurs when defensive players continue to fall on top of an offensive player after he's been tackled. Because it's unnecessary as well as dangerous, piling on is...

Kids Minds Do Matter - Reading vs Social Media

Posted on 4/22/2014

The Wall Street Journal says there’s no difference between a child whose primary interest is reading and a child who uses social media obsessively. In WSJ’s March 22-23 “Mind and Matter” column,...

Does Animal Torture = Sociopath?

Posted on 4/15/2014

Q: My 18 year old son and a slightly younger friend recently found some mice and decided to dispose of them. They drowned one and set the other one on fire. When I confronted my son for torturing...

Too Old to Cuddle?

Posted on 4/15/2014

Q: My 11-year old son, an only child, continues to ask me to "snuggle" with him and scratch his back at bed time. This is a time for us to read aloud, chat about concerns or questions, and say...

Video Games - Again!

Posted on 4/8/2014

Q: Our 14-year-old son seems depressed-to us, at least. His principal sees no sign of depression but thinks he's socially anxious. The subjects of counseling and medication have come up. We have...

Be the Parent Your Child Needs

Posted on 4/1/2014

Q: My 14-year-old daughter says I don't trust her because unlike her best friend's parents, I won't allow her to stay home alone for several days while I go out of town. Her friend's parents do...

Don't laugh!

Posted on 3/25/2014

Q: Our 4-year-old daughter has a huge problem with being laughed at. She loves to be goofy and do funny things but as soon as someone, including one of us, laughs at her she becomes upset. She...

Good Advice From 1951

Posted on 3/18/2014

I recently came across a 1951 article my late mother saved from the Charleston (SC) News and Courier. Titled "Agency Offers Pointers on How Parents Can Guide Their Child's Emotional...

"Boy" Behavior

Posted on 3/11/2014

Q: My 6-year-old son is a bright and friendly kindergartner. Each day a color coded chart is sent home about his behavior. This year he's gone through several spells during which he will have a...

Toilet Training - patience

Posted on 3/4/2014

Q: I've been using the method described in your toilet-training book with my 18-month-old daughter and she's been doing great during the day. She rarely has an accident. However, I'm still using a...

Interpersonal Snot Wiping Behavior

Posted on 2/25/2014

Q: We are having a problem with our 32-month-old son. He picks his nose-most often in a public setting-and then proceeds to wipe it on other family members. It's disgusting. We have tried ignoring...

Leadership - Being a Proper Parent

Posted on 2/18/2014

In my most popular presentation - "Parenting with Love and Leadership"™ - I reveal the secret to proper, effective discipline: to wit, acting like a superior being. Today's parents have been...

Daughter does not "Measure Up."

Posted on 2/11/2014

Q: My 5-year-old is the youngest of my 3 children. Her older boy/girl twin siblings clearly outshine her athletically. They're already very skilled at wakeboarding and snow skiing, for example. I...

Who cleans up?

Posted on 2/4/2014

Q: I have 3 kids ages 8, 6, and 4. I need help solving the "pick up the playroom" dilemma. When an area in which they've been playing needs to be picked up and straightened, the 8-year-old always...

Keep a Sharp Eye on Electronics

Posted on 1/28/2014

Q: Our 13-year-old son has had an iPod for the last 3 years. We've always made use of the parental restrictions to make sure that he could only access "clean" music, movies, and websites. When I...

Biting Finger Nails: What to do?

Posted on 1/21/2014

Q: What can be done to stop a nineteen year old from biting his finger nails? This has been an ongoing habit from early childhood. He's obviously damaging his fingers and maybe even his teeth....

Fail-Safe Formula for Getting Kids to Eat Everything

Posted on 1/14/2014

Yes, it is possible to get kids to eat everything on their plates-spinach, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, you name it. Why, in the American southeast, it is common for toddlers to eat something...

Child Argues with EVERYTHING

Posted on 1/7/2014

Q: What suggestions do you have for disciplining a 7-year-old girl who argues with every single thing her parents say? We don't try to reason with her and we frequently say "Because I said so" but...

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