John's Articles
Where We All Went Wrong
Posted on 8/25/2020
My profession, psychology, began demonizing traditional childrearing in the late 1960s. I was in graduate school at the time and on fire for the promise that the proper use of psychological...
Read MoreHelping a Child Worried About Death
Posted on 8/18/2020
Q: We have a five-year-old who obsesses about dying. This has been going on for six months, ever since a child in the neighborhood died of a congenital genetic condition. Our son knew the boy and...
Read MoreTime to Shake Things up When It Comes to Your Child's Education
Posted on 8/11/2020
Q: Our nine-year-old has just learned he is not going back to school on schedule in the fall. Instead, he will be doing distance learning by computer and home instruction. We had to do this for...
Read More10-Month-Old Tosses Food for Mealtime Fun
Posted on 8/4/2020
Q: Our 10-month-old son has recently discovered the joys of throwing finger food on the floor at mealtimes. He doesn’t seem to care if I feed it to him myself, one piece at a time, but isn't it...
Read MoreForgive Today's Parents, for They Know Not What They Do
Posted on 7/28/2020
I recently received a paean to my generation – the so-called “boomers” – that has been circulating on the Internet for some time now. It recalls and celebrates the freedom we enjoyed as children...
Read MoreHow to Prevent the Terrible Twos From Becoming the Terrifying Threes
Posted on 7/21/2020
One of my books, “Making the ‘Terrible’ Twos Terrific!”, has recently become a best-seller in China, of all places. Seriously! What sorts of problems are Chinese parents having with their...
Read MoreHere's a Real Head Banger Issue
Posted on 7/14/2020
Q: When my two-year-old gets angry, he sometimes gets down and bangs his head on the floor. This happens two or three times a week, generally speaking. He’s not bruised himself, yet, but I don’t...
Read MoreAre Parents Responsible for the How Their Kids Turn Out?
Posted on 7/7/2020
Are parents responsible for the sort of people their children become? That’s this week’s question, and the answer is no, albeit equivocally. Several parents have recently written me...
Read MoreIs There a Child and Teen Mental Health Crisis?
Posted on 6/30/2020
I have long maintained that the significant per-capita increase in child and adolescent mental health problems since the 1960s – a ten-fold increase in suicide, for example – is due to the...
Read MoreDon’t Jump Down the ADHD Rabbit Hole With 8-Year-Old
Posted on 6/23/2020
Q: Our son, age 8, has been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. His IQ is well above average but his actual performance in the classroom is problematic. He has difficulty paying attention...
Read MoreSome Benchmarks on Toilet Training
Posted on 6/9/2020
“There’s no one-size-fits-all model of childrearing for all the world’s parents,” opines Alma Gottlieb, Professor Emerita of Anthropology at the University of Illinois. Gottlieb was quoted in an...
Read MoreThe Greatest and Most Painful of Gifts
Posted on 6/2/2020
In 1972, a Stanford University psychologist conducted a study in which young children, individually, were offered either a small but immediate reward (a marshmallow or a pretzel) or a doubled...
Read MoreAppreciate the Odd Among Us
Posted on 5/26/2020
I have come up with a new psychological diagnosis, one that I won’t, however, be submitting for approval to the powers that be: simply, odd. My “odd” is to be distinguished from ODD, the acronym...
Read MoreThe Value of a Reward
Posted on 5/19/2020
Psychologist B. F. Skinner, the formulator of behavior modification theory, was attempting to prove that the same principles that govern the behavior of amoeba, planaria, rats, dogs, and monkeys...
Read More‘Good Mommy Club’ Does No Favors for Kids
Posted on 5/12/2020
The biggest problem in the life of today’s all-too typical mother is herself. She is her own worst enemy. Them’s fightin’ words, I know, but please, hold the tomatoes and other vegetables and bear...
Read MoreWhy Small Classrooms Are Overrated
Posted on 5/5/2020
No rational person would argue that the smaller the class size, the better, right?” asked the radio talk show host. “I think I’m a rational person,” I said, “and I can offer proof...
Read MoreIn Defense of Homeschooling
Posted on 4/28/2020
In his November 1863 address at Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that the men who lost their lives on that battlefield had done so in order that “government of the people, by the people and...
Read MoreWhat to Do About an Aggressive 3-Year-Old
Posted on 4/21/2020
Q: My three-year-old son tends to react physically when he's mad at a preschool classmate instead of talking it out and letting the teachers intervene. We have encouraged him to use words when...
Read MoreKeep It Simple With Your Kids During Quarantine
Posted on 4/14/2020
One website is titled “How to Cope with Kids During Coronavirus.” Another, featuring a staged photo of an obviously frazzled mom with a toddler on her lap, tells the reader that “Parents are...
Read MoreThe Problem With 'Parenting'
Posted on 4/7/2020
I am convinced that “parenting” causes otherwise rational people – people whose thought processes are not typically driven by emotion – to lose their minds. If that is not the case, then why, ever...
Read MoreMore on Picky Eaters
Posted on 3/31/2020
Per the old Chinese saying, “May you live in interesting times,” it may be that the most interesting of times are those when people do not want to hear the truth – as in the present, or so it...
Read MoreKeep Calm and Carry On
Posted on 3/24/2020
Vital to a child’s sense of well-being are parents who act competent to provide adequate provision and protection under any and all circumstances. I often refer to that obligation...
Read MoreThe Cure for Picky Eating Is Not Therapy
Posted on 3/17/2020
Blaise Pascal (1623 – 1662) said there is no idea so bizarre that a philosopher has not advanced it. These days, the philosophers in question are psychologists and the bizarre ideas are their...
Read MoreProper Discipline of a Child Is an Act of Love for One’s Neighbor
Posted on 3/10/2020
I’ve learned a new word! My daughter informs me that according to some mothers I am guilty of “mom-shaming” and should be ashamed of myself. I am an unashamed mom-shamer because I happen to...
Read MoreSchool Anti-Bullying Policies Are a Farce
Posted on 3/3/2020
Q: We homeschooled our son through the sixth grade. This past fall, per his wishes, we sent him to a public school for the seventh grade. Last week, he was attacked by the class bully. This...
Read MoreWhen It Comes to Phases, Don't Make Mountains out of Molehills
Posted on 2/25/2020
Q: Our daughter, our first and only, is just short of three-and-one-half. She has recently started coming into our room in the middle of the night and making a request of one sort or another. She...
Read MoreThe Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 3
Posted on 2/19/2020
This concludes my three-part series on the Ten Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and how to stop making them!). For the first two columns in the series, go to johnrosemond.com. The mistakes covered...
Read MoreThe Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 2
Posted on 2/11/2020
This is the second in a series of three columns on the Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!). Last week, I identified giving children explanations for parental instructions,...
Read MoreThe Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 1
Posted on 2/4/2020
One of the “secrets” to a happy, healthy emotional life is to identify one’s bad, nonproductive habits and replace them with habits – slowly built – that are functional. That same principle is of...
Read MoreCommon Sense Comes From Heart, Not Head
Posted on 1/28/2020
Q: I’m new to reading you, but it appears that you don’t have much in common with other psychologists. You don’t agree much with their approach to children and parenting. Correct? A: ...
Read MorePunishment Driven by Emotion Accomplishes Nothing
Posted on 1/21/2020
Q: Your recent series on punishment was thought-provoking. I agree children should have consequences when they misbehave. Nonetheless, would you please clarify when punishment becomes excessive?...
Read MoreFather's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed
Posted on 1/15/2020
Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...
Read MorePunishing Children for Bad Behavior Is Not Bad Parenting
Posted on 1/7/2020
This is the last (for a while, anyway) of three columns in which I take on the absurd notion that punishing children for bad behavior is bad parenting. There is commonsense and there is nonsense...
Read MorePunishment Does Not Cause Mental Health Issues
Posted on 12/31/2019
This is the second in a series on “parent-babble,” as in the same-old, same-old nonsense the mental health industry has been passing off as sound parenting advice since the late 1960s. ...
Read MoreResolutions to Make Your Family Stronger
Posted on 12/29/2019
<i><b>What makes a family strong? Not money or material things, but that ineffable thing called love. Love is both expressed and strengthened when a family does things together, things that create...
Read MoreMindful Parenting Is Nothing More Than Postmodern Psychobabble
Posted on 12/24/2019
I am often asked how long I intend to keep this up, as in writing this column, writing books, and speaking on childrearing and family matters. My answer: As long as they keep it up; “it” being the...
Read MoreMr. Rogers Epitomized Adult Who Wants to Be Friend to Children
Posted on 12/17/2019
With the release of “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” inquiring minds want to know: What did I think of Mr. Rogers? I never met the man, but in the early days of my...
Read MoreMaternabling is Destructive to Parent-Child Relationship
Posted on 12/10/2019
“You’ve accused mothers of being in co-dependent relationships with their children,” she (a journalist) said, then asked, “What is co-dependency, exactly, and how does it apply to today’s...
Read MoreTame Child's Disruptive Behavior at Holiday Get-Togethers
Posted on 12/3/2019
Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s...
Read MoreIt Is Not Necessary to Help Your Child With Homework
Posted on 11/26/2019
After a recent talk in South Florida, women came up to me in droves asking, “How much should I help my children with their schoolwork?” That not one man asked the question...
Read MoreIn Today's Parenting, Feelings Trump the Truth
Posted on 11/19/2019
Okay, it’s time to set the record straight, confront the gorilla in the proverbial room, call a spade a spade, and so on and so forth. I recently published a column on “The...
Read MoreChildren Need Love and Discipline to Thrive
Posted on 11/12/2019
The myth of the first three years has it that whatever habits, traits, dysfunctions and so on that a child develops during this admittedly formative period are going to stay with him for life....
Read MoreChildren Do Best in School When Parents Do Not Monitor Progress
Posted on 10/29/2019
The Portal. It sounds like something out of a science fiction novel, the gateway to an alternative universe that lures, then traps the unwary in its nefarious web of illusion, where things are...
Read MorePlaying War Games Not Unusual for Young Boys
Posted on 10/22/2019
Q: My normally happy 6-year-old son has recently started incorporating death and war-like games into his imaginative play. He isn't and has never been a mean-spirited child, but his dad and I just...
Read More"The Doctor" Is the Tool Every Parent Needs
Posted on 10/15/2019
I have good news for parents: You do not need more than a few tools in your disciplinary tool-bag. One especially valuable tool, one that belongs in every modern home, is the “Doctor.” The Doctor...
Read MoreIt's Okay to Let Babies Cry
Posted on 10/8/2019
“What do you do when your baby cries?” I asked the 20-something new mom who was already feeling overwhelmed and beginning to slip into post-partum depression. Her mother-in-law had suggested she...
Read MoreTeenage Girls and Boys Respond to Technology Differently
Posted on 10/2/2019
Q: We held off giving our oldest daughter a smartphone until she was fifteen, the age at which we allowed her older brother to have one. We read your column weekly in our hometown newspaper and...
Read MoreReplace Psychological With Old Fashioned Parenting
Posted on 9/24/2019
As my regular readers know, I am a certified heretic in my field: child and family psychology. To the point, I am convinced that psychological parenting theory, which began to inform American...
Read MoreThe Six C's of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child
Posted on 9/20/2019
The term "strong-willed child" has embedded itself in our vernacular to mean a child who wants to be at the center of everyone's attention, is highly demanding (and won't take "no" for an answer),...
Read MoreWhat's in a Name?
Posted on 9/17/2019
Q: I want to legally change our daughter’s name. No one pronounces it correctly and I think it’s going to cause her more problems as she gets older. My husband doesn’t want to, however. He says...
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