John's Articles
16-Year-Old Smoking - Part 1
Posted on 10/24/1996
PARENTS ARE FIRED UP OVER TEEN DAUGHTER'S SMOKING Q. We recently discovered that our 16-year-old daughter is smoking with her friends. Neither of us smoke and she knows she's breaking a family...
Read More13-Year-Old Has Fears, Problems Falling Asleep, Obsessions and Compulsions
Posted on 10/3/1996
OBSESSIONS, COMPULSIONS ARE COMMON IN EARLY TEEN YEARS Q. Our 13-year-old son, Brian, has recently started having problems falling asleep. As soon as he closes his eyes he begins having...
Read MoreReason Behind Increased Rates of Teen Depression, Drug/Alcohol Use, and Violence
Posted on 8/8/1996
FEEL-GOOD' PARENTING IS HURTING OUR CHILDREN For years, the politically correct explanation for the rise of depression, suicide, violence and drug and alcohol use among America's teens has been...
Read MoreRebellious 14-Year-Old Hangs Around Kids with Bad Reputations
Posted on 5/23/1996
IF SON'S FRIENDS HAVE BAD INFLUENCE ON HIM, YOU MUST PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN Q. We have a 14-year-old who has become increasingly rebellious. In the last year, he started running with a bunch of...
Read MoreUnderstanding and Successfully Managing Your Teen-Ager - Part 4
Posted on 5/2/1996
MUZZLING THE EFFECTS OF PEER PRESSURE EDITOR'S NOTE: Fourth in a series on teen-agers. Q. Every week, it seems, I hear another horror story about a teen-ager who's gone "off the deep...
Read MoreUnderstanding and Successfully Managing Your Teen-Ager - Part 3
Posted on 4/25/1996
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUNG TEEN SET EARLY Third in a series on teen-agers. Burton White, author of "The First Three Years of Life,'' compared preadolescence to toddlerhood, terming the latter...
Read MoreUnderstanding and Successfully Managing Your Teen-Ager - Part 2
Posted on 4/18/1996
KEEP THEM BUSY; THEY'LL BE FINE Q. I've heard that the more activities - church youth groups, athletics, school organizations - teen-agers are involved in, the less likely it is they'll get...
Read MoreUnderstanding and Successfully Managing Your Teen-Ager - Part 1
Posted on 4/11/1996
WHEN GOOD TEENS DO BAD THINGS One of my presentations is titled "Understanding and Successfully Managing Your Teen-Ager (and Yourself Through Your Child's Teen Years).'' As you might imagine,...
Read More13-Year-Old Strong-Willed Teenager
Posted on 1/4/1996
ENLIST DAD TO DISCIPLINE SASSY TEEN-AGE SON Q. My 13-year-old son is giving me fits. Daniel ignores me, sasses me, refuses to do what he is told and refuses to cooperate in any punishment I...
Read More16-Year-Old Wants a Car
Posted on 4/28/1995
THE STORY OF A TEENAGER, A CAR AND PARENTS WHO KEPT THEIR WORD As some of my readers know, I'm in the process of collecting material for an upcoming book on parents who have successfully dealt...
Read MoreRespect is a Two-Way Street
Posted on 2/24/1995
<b>Q. You emphasize the importance of children having respect for adults. I'm a teenager, and it seems to me that some adults have little respect for children. Isn't respect a two-way street?...
Read MoreHow to Handle Child's Outbursts of Frustration
Posted on 12/16/1994
KIDS WILL BE KIDS, AND PARENTS MUST BE PARENTS Adults take children and the childish things they do entirely too seriously. Take, for example, the child who - because he doesn't get his way -...
Read MoreDiscipline and Punishment are not the Same
Posted on 10/14/1994
IF YOU START EARLY, DISCIPLINE CAN BE EASY I was talking to high school seniors in Carroll, Iowa, the other day when a young woman raised her hand and asked if I felt teens should be punished...
Read MoreParents Can't Reason With Teens
Posted on 9/16/1994
YOU CAN TALK TO TEENS, BUT YOU CAN'T REASON WITH THEM I gave a talk recently in which I said you can't reason with children. Someone raised a hand and said words to the effect that you can,...
Read MoreQuotes About TV and Teen Sex
Posted on 5/27/1994
HERE'S WHY OLDER IS NOT NECESSARILY WISER Art Linkletter reminded us that kids say the darnedest things. Ah, but adults often do kids one better by saying and doing the dumbest things. Some...
Read MoreLet Child Have the Last Word - Part 3 (Teen)
Posted on 11/12/1993
THOUGH STILL RUDE, TEEN DOES AS SHE IS TOLD My last two columns, both extolling the advantages of letting children have "the last word,'' have struck a familiar chord among some readers....
Read MoreLet Child Have the Last Word - Part 2 (15-Year-Old)
Posted on 11/5/1993
WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT KIDS COMPLY; GOOD ATTITUDE' ISN'T NECESSARY In last week's column, I said that when a child doesn't like a parental decision, the parent should let the child have the...
Read MoreLet Child Have the Last Word - Part 1 (12-Year-Old)
Posted on 10/29/1993
GO AHEAD, GIVE YOUR CHILD THE LAST WORD There was a look of desperation, I thought, a look of last resort, in this prematurely gray mother's eyes. "What can I do,'' she asked pleadingly, "with...
Read More16-Year-Old is Dating Boy with Bad Reputation
Posted on 2/26/1993
IF DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND IS BAD NEWS, BETTER NOT ALIENATE HER Q. Our 16-year-old daughter is seeing a 17-year-old boy whose reputation leaves much to be desired. When we confronted her...
Read More8th Grader Has Troubling Friends
Posted on 7/17/1992
WORRIED THAT KID'S FRIENDS ARE BAD NEWS? One day during Eric's eighth-grade year, a friend called to warn me of the crowd Eric had recently started hanging with. I'd met the boys to whom he...
Read MoreKids and Smoking
Posted on 3/27/1992
A KID'S FIRST WHIFF OF CAMEL BREATH IS NOT FROM OLD JOE Poor Old Joe Camel. The campaign to force R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. to dump the dromedary from its Camel cigarette ads has become a...
Read More15-Year-Old on Phone All the Time
Posted on 3/20/1992
WHAT TO DO FOR A 15-YEAR-OLD'S SERIOUS CASE OF PHONE EAR Q. We have a 15-year-old daughter who, if allowed, would stay on the phone in her room all day and night. When we propose regulations,...
Read More15-Year-Old's Relationship with Stepfather
Posted on 1/3/1992
SHOULD SON BE CLOSER TO STEPFATHER? Q. I'm concerned about my 15-year-old son's relationship with his stepfather, to whom I've been married five years. They accept one another, and have...
Read More16-Year-Old Disrespectful Toward Parents
Posted on 11/22/1991
Several weeks ago, in Miami, a woman in the audience asked how she and her husband could make their 16-year-old son stop talking disrespectfully to them. So far, she said, they'd complained,...
Read MoreBecause I Said So 4
Posted on 3/17/1991
THESE WORDS GET RESULTS - BECAUSE I SAID SO When Eric was 14, he asked me if I'd buy him a motorcycle. "Nope," I said. "Why not?" he screeched, his arms flapping at his sides like he...
Read More16-Year-Old Getting a Job
Posted on 8/26/1990
LET TEENAGER TRY A JOB IF SHE ASKS JUST LIMIT THE HOURS AND TELL HER SHE MUST MAINTAIN GOOD GRADES Q: With the start of the school year upon us, and with a child about to turn 16, my wife...
Read MoreSatanism - Part 2
Posted on 8/12/1990
TO SOME, SATANISM IS SECOND FAMILY This is the second and final part of a conversation on satanism with Larry Schwarz, program coordinator for adolescent services at Cedar Spring Hospital in...
Read MoreBe Aware: There Are at Least 3 Types of Satanism
Posted on 8/5/1990
In the last year, a fair number of parents have asked me questions about satanism. It's hard to find someone who can speak authoritatively and objectively about this controversial and...
Read MoreTeens and Drugs 2
Posted on 3/18/1990
SOLUTION HITS HOME: PARENTS, TOO, SHOULD JUST SAY NO In a recent column, I said that "Just Say No" (JSN) programs, based as they are on the notion that peer pressure is the evil behind the...
Read MoreWarning Labels on Music Products
Posted on 2/25/1990
NO ROCK BAND ALONE CAN MAKE TEEN DESERT FAMILY Several months ago, Tipper Gore, president of the Parents' Music Resource Center, and Robert Christgau, rock critic for the Village Voice,...
Read MoreTeens and Drugs
Posted on 1/28/1990
PARENTS, NOT PEERS, MUST SAY NO Just say no. Simple as that. Immunize teens against the negative peer forces that lead to drug use by forming drug-free clubs, doing "self-esteem...
Read MoreNever Too Late to Make Beneficial Changes in How You Manage Children
Posted on 5/7/1989
CHILDREN CAN HANDLE UNHAPPINESS Q. We heard you speak recently in Lincoln, Neb., and were impressed with your advice to parents that we give less to our children and expect more of them,...
Read More15-Year-Old Pornography Issue
Posted on 4/9/1989
TEEN'S INTEREST IN PORNOGRAPHY CONCERNS PARENTS Q. We recently found a copy of Penthouse magazine hidden under the mattress in our 15-year-old son's room. This is the third time in two years...
Read More10th Grader Homework Issue
Posted on 3/26/1989
SOMETIMES HELP IS NO HELP AT ALL Upon entering the 10th grade, my daughter Amy was invited into advanced geometry. It was her first accelerated placement in math, and it turned out to be...
Read More18-Year-Old Changes Name
Posted on 3/19/1989
DON'T FUSS OVER NAME CHANGE Q. Our 18-year-old daughter recently announced she has changed her name from Elaine to Porsche. She's never liked her name and often talked about changing it,...
Read More16-Year-Old Grades Dropping
Posted on 3/12/1989
LINK DRIVING PRIVILEGE TO GOOD GRADES Q. A problem has recently developed with our 16-year-old son, who is a sophomore in high school. He's always been a very responsible student and has...
Read MoreGive Teens More Freedom with Responsibility
Posted on 3/5/1989
RESPONSIBILITY COMES ALONG WITH FREEDOM When Eric and Amy were in their early teens, my wife and I made an astonishing announcement to each of them. We said, in effect, "We don't want to be...
Read MoreTeenagers Not Bailed Out of Jail by Parents
Posted on 1/8/1989
CHARLIE BABBITT'S FATHER WAS RIGHT AS RAIN, MAN In one of the more paradoxical scenes from the movie "Rain Man," Charlie Babbitt, the character played by Tom Cruise, tells his girlfriend the...
Read More15-Year-Old Wanting to Watch Horror Movie
Posted on 12/11/1988
NIGHTMARE' MOVIES AREN'T FOR YOUNG CHILDREN OR DISTURBED TEENS Q. Our 15-year-old daughter wants us to rent the "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies so she and her friends can watch them in our...
Read MoreIt is Not Too Late to Teach 14-Year-Old the Three R's
Posted on 11/6/1988
I recently gave my "Helping Children Succeed in School" workshop to a group of professional educators in Phoenix, Ariz. In it, I explained that if parents want their children to become...
Read More14-Year-Old Rude, Disrespectful and Obnoxious
Posted on 9/11/1988
HOW TO HANDLE RUDENESS IN A TROUBLED 14-YEAR-OLD Q. We are worried about our 14-year-old daughter. She's become extremely rude and disrespectful, and the more of an audience she has, the...
Read More14-Year-Old Doing Homework with Music On
Posted on 4/17/1988
LET DAUGHTER STUDY WITH HER ROCK MUSIC Q. My 14-year-old daughter likes to do her homework with her radio on, turned to her favorite rock station. I don't see how she can do her best with...
Read More13-Year-Old Has Messy Room
Posted on 1/31/1988
GODFATHERLIKE OFFER' WILL KEEP DAUGHTER'S ROOM TIDY Q. Our 13-year-old daughter's room is an absolute disaster! The floor is littered with albums, clothes, magazines and other personal...
Read More14-Year-Old Runaway
Posted on 12/27/1987
RUNNING OFF ISN'T QUITE THE SAME AS RUNNING AWAY Q. About two months ago, our 14-year-old son got mad at us and ran away from home. We finally found him two days later at the home of a...
Read MoreSteriod Use on the Rise with Teens
Posted on 8/16/1987
IMAGE-CONSCIOUS TEENS TURNING TO STEROIDS During his early teen years, Mickey becomes interested in bodybuilding. For his 15th birthday, his parents buy him a membership in a local fitness...
Read MoreKids Given Too Much of What They Want and not Enough of What They Need
Posted on 7/5/1987
FORCE TEENS TO LEARN BY SERVING THEIR COUNTRY In a recent column of his, William F. Buckley bemoaned the "extraordinary ignorance of the younger generation." He cited numerous examples, from...
Read More15-Year-Old Learns Lesson
Posted on 6/7/1987
SOMETIMES, THE FOOL THING' PROVES WORTH IT It was the summer of Eric's 15th year. It was that time in life when boys get too big for their britches and feel compelled to do things to prove to...
Read MoreRaising a Teenager
Posted on 2/22/1987
COLUMNISTS LEARNS ABOUT HIMSELF WATCHING HIS CHILD GROW UP My son, Eric, recently had his 18th birthday. He will be going off to college next year and I will miss him. Raising him has been...
Read MoreRebellious 13-Year-Old Wants to Go Live with Dad
Posted on 12/7/1986
DIVORCE INFLUENCES TWEEN' YEARS Q. I have two children by my previous marriage - an almost 13-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl. I am remarried, but have no children, nor plans for any,...
Read More14-Year-Old Doesn't Get Along with Parents
Posted on 6/29/1986
WHEN YOU'RE 14, IT ISN'T COOL TO GET ALONG WITH PARENTS Q. Our 14-year-old daughter recently told an adult friend that she didn't get along with us. This came as quite a surprise because...
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