John's Articles
Parents Afraid of Children
Posted on 2/28/2006
PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS ARE UPSIDE DOWN In my recent public presentations, I've been pointing out that whereas baby boomers, as children, were afraid of their mothers, today's mothers - in...
Read More3-Year-Old Should Pay Attention to Parents
Posted on 1/31/2006
KIDS MUST LEARN THAT THEIR JOB IS TO PAY ATTENTION TO PARENTS By the time a child is 3 years old, he has come to one of two conclusions concerning his parents: Conclusion One: It's my job...
Read MoreDiscipline is a Matter of Leadership
Posted on 12/27/2005
DISCIPLINE NEVER HAD IT SO HARD Once upon a time that some of the living remember, the discipline of a child was a relatively simple, straightforward matter that merited neither mental nor...
Read MoreChild Needs to be Family Team Player
Posted on 12/13/2005
YOUR CHILD'S MOST IMPORTANT 'TEAM' IS THE FAMILY A father recently told me one reason his 10-year-old son was active in a different sport every season was "he needs to learn how to be a...
Read MoreThe Three Seasons of Raising Children
Posted on 5/17/2005
In the early 1960s, songwriter/folk singer Pete Seeger wrote "Turn, Turn, Turn," which was later rocked up and made popular by The Byrds. The refrain was taken from The Book of Ecclesiastes 3:1,...
Read MoreTreating Children Fairly and Equally
Posted on 5/3/2005
AIM FOR A BALANCE BETWEEN TREATING CHILDREN FAIRLY, EQUALLY Carolyn Straub of Omaha, Neb., writes to ask that I explain the difference between treating children fairly and treating them...
Read MoreParents Should be Leaders, not Pals
Posted on 4/5/2005
PARENTS SHOULD REAR KIDS, NOT BE PALS These days it seems that the more things change in parenting, the more they keep right on changing. For example Today's parents are trying to...
Read MoreMarriage Occupies Center Stage
Posted on 12/7/2004
TODAY'S CHILDREN-CENTRIC MARRIAGES DON'T BODE WELL FOR FUTURE A journalist recently asked: "When they become adults, what will be the biggest problem facing today's kids?" I answered: "That...
Read MoreChildren Should Fear Mom and Do Chores
Posted on 7/13/2004
DON'T BE YOUR CHILD'S DOORMAT I was just thinking Isn't it ironic? Part One: In my youth, the typical child was afraid of his mother - a mother, furthermore, who might never have spanked or...
Read MoreParents Enable Children to Misbehave
Posted on 9/9/2003
WHEN PARENTS ABDICATE, KIDS RULE I never cease to be amazed at the lengths to which adults will go to protect children from the consequences of misbehavior. They ignore, threaten, bribe,...
Read MoreProper Parenting Does Not Produce a Child Who Will Not Misbehave
Posted on 6/10/2003
SOMETIMES PARENTING IS NO MATCH FOR FREE WILL Post-Freudian psychology posits that every human behavior has an antecedent, and that it was acquired (learned) by way of some social interaction....
Read MoreChidren Will Change When Their Behavior Causes Them to Become Upset (Babysitting Story)
Posted on 2/25/2003
SOMETIMES A 'SHRUG' GETS RESULTS Every so often, I run across a story that qualifies for inclusion in my growing "Parenting at its Best" collection. These "bests" almost always involve...
Read MoreParents Need to Stand Up to Children's Crimes and Cheating
Posted on 1/14/2003
BLAME ADULTS FOR KID CRIME WAVES It has long been my contention that children who grew up in the 1950s and '60s were much better behaved than today's kids. Don't misunderstand me. We were far...
Read MoreLuck Does Not Come Into Play with Parenting
Posted on 1/7/2003
KIDS' BEHAVIOR NO GAME OF CHANCE On my Web site (www.rosemond.com) a debate has recently simmered, and occasionally raged, over the notion that some parents are just downright lucky - meaning...
Read MoreResolutions to Make Your Family Stronger
Posted on 12/31/2002
<i><b>What makes a family strong? Not money or material things, but that ineffable thing called love. Love is both expressed and strengthened when a family does things together, things that create...
Read MoreMom Wants to Have Democratic Parent-Child Relationship, But It Does Not Work
Posted on 11/19/2002
TYRANTS NOT BORN; THEY'RE MADE I recently had a funny exchange with a person in the sales division of the company that manufactured my once-trustworthy laptop. I have to share it with the...
Read MoreToday's Parents Should Not Listen To Psychobabble
Posted on 7/23/2002
PSYCHOBABBLE LEADS TODAY'S PARENTS TO OLD MISTAKES My wife and I recently spent a long weekend in one of our favorite cities. My wife likes to shop, and I am one of those relatively rare males...
Read MoreDon't Micromanage Discipline
Posted on 5/28/2002
DON'T BE A MICROMANAGER WHEN IT COMES TO DISCIPLINE Q: I am the at-home mother of four boys, ages 3, 5, 8 and 10. They are well behaved (other people tell me this), but lately I feel like all I...
Read MoreTop 10 No-No's When Communicating with Your Child
Posted on 4/30/2002
A TOP 10 LIST OF STUPID-PARENT TRICKS Q: Years ago, you ran a column in which you listed the most common mistakes parents make when they give instructions to children. I had it on my...
Read MoreDiscipline: Two Different Stories
Posted on 4/23/2002
KIDS AREN'T WELL-INTENTIONED; THEY REALLY NEED 'STUBBORN LOVE' This is a two-part column involving two stories, each from the mother of a rebellious little girl. Concerning her daughter, the...
Read MoreWhen Misbehavior Occurs, Punishment First, Then Talk Later
Posted on 1/15/2002
NAUGHTY CHILD? PUNISH FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER When I misbehaved - and it didn't matter whether the misbehavior occurred at home, school or in the neighborhood - my parents rarely asked me to...
Read MoreDemocracy Does Not Work in a Family
Posted on 1/8/2002
WITHIN THE FAMILY, DEMOCRACY ISN'T BEST CHOICE FOR STRUCTURE Q: In your constant defense and promotion of authoritarian parenting, you overlook the fact that the United States is a democratic...
Read MoreTraditional Parenting Still Works
Posted on 11/13/2001
In a letter to the editor of a newspaper, a reader writes (referring to me), "If we must have a 'parenting expert,' aren't there some out there with fresh and original thoughts?" Without...
Read MoreDiscipine is a Matter of Leadership
Posted on 10/30/2001
DISCIPLINE IS MATTER OF RULE, NOT RULES As you might have guessed, parents frequently ask me for advice concerning discipline problems they are having with their children. Almost as...
Read MoreLower the Boom on Misbehavior
Posted on 4/24/2001
'THE BOOM' NIPS MISBEHAVIOR IN THE BUD I've asked several recent audiences, "Raise your hand if you think the punishment should fit the crime." Every time, nearly all hands go up. There...
Read MoreNo Nonsense Approach to Parenting
Posted on 1/2/2001
WARNINGS CALL FORTH DISOBEDIENCE, AND YOU CAN'T LET THAT SLIDE Q. Do you recommend giving children choices when they don't want to do what they are told, as in, "You can either sit in this...
Read MoreEffective Discipline is Nothing More Than Loving Leadership
Posted on 12/26/2000
PARENTS NEED TO LEARN ART OF LOVING LEADERSHIP Effective discipline - the essence of effective child rearing - is not a set of techniques properly used. It is not spanking or time out or...
Read MoreLevy a Punishment That Does Not Fit the Crime
Posted on 9/19/2000
KIDS' PUNISHMENT MUST BE STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE AN IMPACT Some time ago (the statute of limitations has passed), a good friend told me his 5-year-old, in complete disregard of the rules, rode...
Read MoreParents Should Tell Children What To Do, Not Ask.
Posted on 9/12/2000
Today's parents frequently complain that their children don't do as they are told. That simply isn't true. Almost every child will do what he or she is told, most of the time. (I estimate the...
Read MorePsycobabble Convinced Mom that 7-Year-Old is Depressed
Posted on 5/30/2000
PSYCHOBABBLE CAN OBSCURE THE NECESSITY OF DISCIPLINE Today's parents have been brainwashed by psychobabble dispensed in well-intentioned ways by parenting "experts." As a consequence, they...
Read MoreParents Making a Difference
Posted on 5/9/2000
YES, PARENTS CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE I began soliciting "Parenting at its Best" stories about six months ago and have received quite a number of good ones, but this one is in the top 10....
Read MoreParenting at its Well-Intentioned Worst
Posted on 3/21/2000
HEREIN LIES THE TALE OF 'PARENTING AT ITS WELL-INTENTIONED WORST' A few months ago, I told the story of how two friends of mine had handled an incident of flagrant disobedience on the part of...
Read MoreMost Essential Element of Successful Discipline is Good Communication
Posted on 7/20/1999
Q. Overall I feel you place too much emphasis on strict discipline and not enough on the need to be a relaxed, affectionate parent. Don't you agree that being relaxed is essential to good...
Read MoreStrong Love vs Weak Love
Posted on 6/15/1999
LEARNING THE HARD WAY IS SOMETIMES THE BEST WAY Parents of the sort who read this column are concerned, conscientious, caring and committed. They are certainly well-intentioned, but none of...
Read MoreRandom Parenting Thoughts
Posted on 6/8/1999
NO EXCUSES, PARENTS; A DIFFICULT CHILD IS NOT BORN THAT WAY A few random thoughts occurring at 35,000 feet, on my way to Hollywood for a guest appearance on "Politically Incorrect.'' Who? Me?...
Read MoreParenting Philosophy
Posted on 3/16/1999
CHILD LEARNS BEST WHEN HE SUFFERS FOR HIS MISTAKES Several journalists have recently asked me to describe my parenting philosophy, so I thought I'd share my answer with my readers. Where...
Read MoreChild-Rearing Myths - Part 2
Posted on 2/9/1999
MORE MYTHS ABOUT RAISING A CHILD Last week's column dealt with several contemporary child-rearing myths, beginning with the notion that "good self-esteem is always good.'' This week, I...
Read MoreChild-Rearing Myths - Part 1
Posted on 2/2/1999
PAYING THE PRICE FOR BAD BEHAVIOR IS FAIR, EFFECTIVE Thirty or so years ago, experts began telling parents that high self-esteem would lead to better grades and better behavior, and prevent...
Read MoreChild-Rearing and Family Life - Part 2
Posted on 1/5/1999
WITHHOLDING DISCIPLINE LETS FRUSTRATION BUILD TO A BOIL More musings on child rearing and family life: * Proverbs says the parent who holds back the rod of discipline hates his child. This...
Read MoreChild-Rearing and Family Life - Part 1
Posted on 12/29/1998
MUSINGS ON FAMILY LIFE IN '99 CONSIDER THIS ON MONEY, SCHOOL, GUILT A few musings: * A family financial counselor tells me that two parents who both work outside the home are usually...
Read MoreWhy Do Parents Today Have So Many More Problems with Their Children?
Posted on 12/1/1998
KIDS ARE IN THERAPY, AND IT'S ALL PARENTS' FAULT PUT RESPONSIBILITY WHERE IT BELONGS Why,'' asked a journalist, "do so many of today's parents take their children to therapists?'' The...
Read MoreThoughts on Children, Parenting, Families, and People in General - Part 2
Posted on 10/20/1998
LET'S BE HONEST: WELL-BEHAVED KIDS ARE THE ONES WE LIKE TO HAVE AROUND More random thoughts on children, parenting, families, and people in general, written during a speaking trip to...
Read MoreThoughts on Children, Parenting, Families, and People in General - Part 1
Posted on 10/13/1998
TOILETS, LIKE OBLIGATIONS, MAY FINALLY FADE AWAY Random thoughts while winging my way to recent speaking engagements in Daphne, Ala., and Birmingham, Ala. * Responding to the fact that...
Read More3 Step Plan To Get Kids To Do What They Are Told To Do
Posted on 8/11/1998
3-STEP PLAN WILL GET KIDS TO DO WHAT THEY'RE TOLD "How can I get my children to do what they're told?'' More people ask me this question than any other. The answer is a relatively simple...
Read MoreParenting's Great Paradox: There are no Guarantees in the Raising of any Child
Posted on 7/14/1998
WHOA, PARENTS - DON'T EXPECT TO OUTDO GOD A couple approached me during the break at a recent speaking engagement and asked a couple of questions concerning their 14-year-old daughter. After...
Read MoreExpert Parenting Comes From the Heart and the Gut
Posted on 4/28/1998
I'M AN EXPERT BUT SO ARE YOU, AND SO IS EVERY PARENT In all likelihood, the reason you're reading this column is you think I'm an expert on raising children. And you're right! I am an expert...
Read MoreCan't Try To Have a Good Relationship with Child and Effectively Lead at Same Time
Posted on 4/7/1998
PARENTS MUST LEAD KIDS, NOT JUST RELATE TO THEM Parenting isn't exactly a no-brainer,'' I said to an audience, "but it's close to it.'' Some laughed, and some just looked at me like I was...
Read MoreBest Parents Take Good Care of Themselves So They Can Take Care of Children
Posted on 3/24/1998
WHAT SPOCK REALLY SAID MADE SENSE, AND STILL DOES Dr. Benjamin Spock, pediatrician to America's baby boomers, has passed. He will be remembered fondly, I'm sure, by my mother - for whom...
Read MoreMom of 3-Year-Old Wants to be Friends with her Child
Posted on 2/17/1998
KIDS NEED PARENTS; YOU CAN BE FRIENDS LATER Q. On a recent radio talk show, you said today's parents make problems for both themselves and their children by trying to be friends with them. I...
Read MoreIt is Everyone's Best Interest That a Child be Well-Behaved
Posted on 12/9/1997
TO GET GOOD BEHAVIOR, PARENTS MUST DEMAND IT A month or so ago, I put this question to an audience of some 500 people in Davidson: "How many of you are certain that your children are as...
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