Question
My 4-1/2 yo son likes to question authority/talk back, is argumentative and disrespectful. He behaves this way at home and in school. He is also defiant and when told not to do something again, will oftentimes do it once more. Every once in a while he throws a tantrum, crying and screaming at the top of his lungs. In preschool, he talked back to his teacher, gave her attitude and punched a boy in the chest for saying/doing something he didn't like. This is the first incident where he punched another student, although he has bitten once and hit a few times. When he misbehaves at home, we put him in 4 min. time outs (min. per yr.) and take away privileges (2-3 days max.). His preschool does time out and loss of privilege as well. He is sensitive and always comes to tell me he's sorry for what he did.
I decided to start with the ticket system instead of kicking him out of the Garden of Eden to try the least restrictive method first. I created 3 tickets and put in on the refrigerator. Then I explained to my son I spoke to his doctor and she said he's 4 yo now and he's expected to behave like a big boy. From now on, after 1 warning, the 1st ticket gets taken away and he does a 10 min. time out along with the loss of one privilege. The 2nd ticket is a 20 min. time out along with another loss of privilege and the 3rd ticket a 30 min. time out and a one-hour earlier bed time. It's amazing that in the past 2 days, not 1 ticket has left the refrigerator yet. I hope it lasts!
When a privilege gets taken away, is it for one week? Also, does the duration of the loss privilege start all over again when a ticket gets taken away on subsequent days, making all loss privileges earned back at the same time? When taking away his toys, do I take a few of his favorites or all? Do I eventually take away his books if all other privileges haven't been earned back, leaving him to do nothing?
In regards to the hitting incident, should I tell his teacher to isolate him the next time he hits and call me so I can pick him up? If so, do I isolate him in a room at home with nothing to do except bathroom breaks, dinner and a 1 hr. earlier bed time? FYI: he currently has his own bed in our bedroom as we haven't gotten around completing the renovation of his room.
With that in mind, which book should I purchase first?
