I'm at a loss for direction. I tried lumping my kids together with a chart just to find how different they are. My 4 y/o loves to relentlessly antagonize my 5 y/o whiner, and my 7 y/o loves to "mother". It's constant and this mom is done. Help!
Thanks for the question. I suspect from both questions that your children don't believe you which is a common problem today. It is an easy fix. I would sit your children down, with dad, and present what you discovered when you visited with a doctor who specializes in children who tease, whine and boss people around. He said the reason you are behaving this way is because you are not getting enough sleep. So, starting tonight right after supper you will all be in bed. This means if you have any activities planned such as birthday parties, visit with grandma, sleepover, sporting events etc, they are canceled until you get enough sleep. How will mom and I know you are getting enough sleep? When you stop teasing, whining and bossing people for a week. Then we can start to add back some activities. However, if the behaviors return then we will go back to needing more sleep and bed right after supper. Remember, one week not 5 days.
This is a perfect opportunity to reestablish your authority and get your children to pay attention. You must use leadership speech which is defined as confident, calm, conveys an attitude that this will be accomplished, telling not asking. Your body language has to emit positive affirmation of what you are saying. If you stay the course, with no compromising you will be amazed at the results. It may get worse before it gets better but stay the course.
Tim Bonzagni - certified parent coach/ retired educator/retired pastor
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