Follow up question:
After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same for them both. They would loose tickets constantly (high misbehaviors). I did it for several weeks and it was rough bc they kept loosing tickets so often and fast. I heard advice I think from the podcast that for a child who fails to do a task/chore completely or timely to make them complete it or do it over and over until they learned to do it properly. Like, if you do it right the first time, then you have more you time or you can keep repeating the chore until it’s done right. Which is why I was enforcing them to do their chores/task but by doing this, there was never time left for them to be confined to their room.. It seems they are lazy and getting sent to their room was to their benefit. Plus, I’ll admit, it’s frustrating for me to have to do their chores/tasks when I don’t always have time and I see them as capable. So, I’m confused and conflicted on this part. But, I’m happy to follow the advice and send them to their room and I’ll tough it out and do it for them if this is what I need to do, but I’m confused by the opposite advice given.
My mother in law watches the kids when my husband and I are at work and she was even fed up with them - which is big! They wouldn’t obey her and were very disrespectful (back talk, saying they didn’t have to obey her, name calling, shouting/yelling/storming off etc... and she suggested they needed the garden kick too. BUT, when we did the garden kick, I missed the part about room confinement - yikes! I see they’ll be in their room for weeks and I’ll be making up for all their slack. But, what encourages them to obey when it’s seems laying in bed is to their benefit? I would like them to see value and pride and meeting their obligations. Most of their day is occupied with school and then church on the weekends, also limiting room time. So I guess I’m saying it seems like room confinement seems like short breaks and never long enough to make a dent? Unless I’m misguided in my understanding of this. Also, they have pet rabbits that need attending to (ok, so I can make up and feed/clean) but the rabbits requires play time and bonding with them - do I deny that too?
Thanks for helping me understand better!