"As children grow older, parents must give them greater freedom, including greater freedom to make mistakes. "

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We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on the 6th misbehavior. His three target misbehaviors are tantrums, trash talking, and no first time obedience. We saw a big improvement the first weeks we implemented the ticket system. We have kicked him out of the garden in the past. His trash talking and tantrums are still big issues. Are we doing the chart system wrong?


Hello, and thank you for your question. I recommend that you go back to the 3 tickets a day system, especially because you state that you saw significant improvement. The six block chart may be too vague and not motivating enough for him to change the behaviors you are targeting. It's also a lot for you to keep track of, and when a discipline system is cumbersome we tend to abandon it.

He will start each day with three tickets, and when they're gone he is isolated in his very boring room or other designated space. He can have access to books, paper and crayons and nothing else. Make sure he understands which offenses are ticket losers. Keep your calm, cool and confident demeanor as you tell him that he's lost a ticket because of _________. For example, you might say "Son, you didn't do _______ when we told you to. That's a ticket."

Expect that things may get worse before they get better. Stay the course, knowing you are doing right by him!

Wendy Faucett
Certified Leadership Parenting Coach
Facebook: Love & Leadership Parent Coaching

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