Question
My husband is inconsistent with discipline when he chooses to discipline. He has created a monster in our 8 year old daughter. Everyone sees this but him. When she was younger and I would discipline her he deemed me "mean mom" He tries to talk with her and reason with her to correct her behavior.
This situation has ruined our marriage. I have no respect for him at this point as a husband or father. His parenting failures have made our lives so difficult. I can barely take this child out in public. Other children run from her because she is selfish, loud, mean, and abrupt.
Recently while I was out of town a slip came home from her teacher stating that three times in one week she talked in class or bossed another child in her class. It had to signed and sent back to school. He "talked" to her about it and went about a very fun filled weekend of birthday parties, movies, and outings. He said he was waiting for me to come home and discuss discipline. My take is he didn't want to miss out on any of the fun either so delaying discipline was an excuse. Our pastor told him he felt waiting for me was a respectful act and I was wrong in getting angry that he didn't handle it.
We have only been in school 3 weeks and we get these notes every year!!! I felt she should have missed the birthday party or had a dull weekend instead of a fun filled one.
This happens frequently. So I shoulder all the burden of her behaviors with teachers, friends, and her sibling. I am exhausted.
My question is should he have handled it in my absence? We don't have a spoken rule that we discipline together. I do it all day while he is at work. My second question is how do I "fix" her behavior if he is never going to be on board?
Thank you