Mother Wants to Stop Micromanaging


Micromanagement. I definitely do it. My husband does it. We catch ourselves, but need to rid ourselves of it. The problem is that I have a hard time knowing when I'm "parenting" and when I'm "micromanaging" sometimes. Can you guide me? For instance, I know that hovering over breakfast and telling my kids to finish their milk and eat more eggs, etc. is micromanaging, but we have rules that you must eat at least one bite of everything on your plate and must finish it all to get anything else. I know I need to step away, but what if they don't follow the rules?

After dinner for my 7yo boys includes shower, pajamas, teeth brushing, then back downstairs for reading, and then any family time. What if they leave clothes all over the floor or don't clean up the bathroom (towel, bathmat, toothpaste, etc.)? It seems like micromanaging to follow behind and tell them to come do those things. Or, what if the shower, pajamas, and teeth brushing go on and on for over an hour. We've resorted to setting a timer now, but the effectiveness of that seems to be wearing off. Running out of time to enjoy any time with family and having to go right to bed doesn't seem to matter to them. Harping on them to finish up or giving a time limit seems like micromanaging, but what should I do?

Basically, I'm not sure how to "let go" but not let my children "get away with everything." Does that make sense? I truly want to fix my behavior so as to turn things around, but I think I'm too involved to figure out how to step back and still be the parent.

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