15 yo Disrespect--Should Parent Apologize?


My husband and stepdaughter (15) had an argument. She lives with us full time but violated a rule, was called out on it and she escalated with (what she thought) were hurtful statements. One of which was the textbook "I want to go back to mom's". She was rescued and has since been at her mother's. Her mother is asking my husband why he hasn't called to apologize to her and that she's waiting for it. He never lost his temper or raised his voice, but he was angry with her.

So my question in general is - when an argument escalates (by the child only) and the child is disrespectful - is an "apology" necessitated on the part of the parent? My husband is going to sit down with her and her mother and spell out what he thinks should happen going forward, but doesn't see any need to apologize. When we got in trouble as teenagers, we apologized to our parents, we didn't argue back. I've polled some friends and they all say they'd apologize to their kids - but perhaps just a general "I'm sorry the conversation escalated?" I'm interested in some other thoughts. Thanks.

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