Question
My husband and I have 50/50 custody of his first daughter & son (14 & 11) and have for 6 years. Within the last 2 years, we've seen a decline in the daughter's grades. She won't do her work. Her behavior at our house has been fine, except in the last month it has changed significantly - telling her dad she hates him, he does nothing for her, she can only rely on herself, C's are good grades and his expectations are too high. She has 1 household chore and is expected to keep her room clean, do her homework and we expect A's & B's (or to see serious effort towards this). Currently because she is not upholding her room expectation (i.e. discarded food and garbage rotting in there) she does not have any privileges such as spending the night out. She tells her mother she hates being at our house (a yarn she spins to both sides). If there is a similar column answer to this type of scenario, please forward it as I haven't found it yet. How do we learn to accept this attitude from her? We cannot punish or take away anything more as there is nothing left - no cell phone, no extracurriculars,etc. She accepts her low circumstances with defeat. We know we cannot make her want to do better in her life, but we want to help her. My husband is bitterly disappointed that she has the tools to succeed and refuses to even try.
