"In the eyes of a child, parents are "mean" when the child discovers that they mean what they say. "



My 8 1/2 yr old son has been using a bed-wetting alarm off and on for 1 1/2 years. We started using it initially by his request, he caught on quickly and had only a few accidents before he was dry for 3-4 months straight. Then he started having an accident occasionally, then more often, till he was wetting every night again. Then we started with the alarm again. We are on our 3rd go-around with the alarm, this time we've been using it for about 6 months. He'll be dry for about 2 weeks which is when he gets to switch to every other night on the alarm, but then he starts with the accidents again. Any time he absolutely HAS to stay dry (sleeping on the floor at grandmas for example) he does. I have always heard that you aren't supposed to punish kids for accidents, but I'm not convinced they're accidents anymore. He's often upset when he wets (or maybe he's upset that I'm disappointed), but he can go for so long without any accidents too. He has also occasionally taken the alarm off after we put him in bed because he thinks he'll stay dry. We are trying to make it HIS problem when he's wet. We get up with him in the night if his alarm goes off, but if he's wet in the morning, he has to change his sheets, take a shower, and sleep the following night without blankets. That doesn't seem to be a big enough inconvenience to make sure he stays dry. We would have no issue helping him through a problem if he has one, but getting up regularly in the middle of a night with a kid who is maybe just lazy is getting on our nerves! My next thought is to put him in pullups and make him earn the money to pay for them. We really think he can stay dry we just need some suggestions on whether we need to be in motivation mode or punishment mode, and how to make this his problem.

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