Question
I feel I am constantly punishing for behavior I never see. My son (almost 5 yrs old) bullies little girls and passive boys at school. I never see near the intensity of the behavior they describe at school...and it isnt I dont believe them, I do. Usually kids misbehave for parents but are angels at school. I read The Well Behaved Child and agree with the philosophy and methods. I stripped his room almost a month ago (before I had read your book and had just read your columns...the book brought so many loose ends together). He has missed his field trips at school at my request. He will do OK for a few days and then he will hit, kick, punch, poke,spit, yell in kids faces and make mean comments telling the adults "I just cant behave". I institued the charts this week. Yesterday I ended up retrieving him from school for punching a little girl. This just seems like it is never going to end. everytime I think he has turned the corner, he finds another form of bullying and tells me "I didnt kick anyone" like he thinks he deserves some kind of recognition for that.I feel a bit better as now I have a plan. Everyone I talk to tho, because it is taking so long to "fix" this way, wants me to medicate, to have "experts" brought into the classroom, label him so he can get additional services...I do not want any of that. I think the only syndrome he has is BS...Brat Syndrome. People always tell me it is because he was in foster care and neglected for the first year and a half. How many days is reasonable to expect a run of appropriate behavior before I start giving him his stuff back? HELP!!!
