Question
We are a blended family with 5 children. However, I'm having a very hard time with my 13 year old step-son. He is awful at our house. Not in public. Not at school. And not at his mother's. Kicking and punching walls when he's told to do his chores (our rule is that we shouldn't have to tell them to do it, so clearly, he's already off to the wrong foot), screaming in mine or my husband's face when he's told no, just laughs when spoken to, or does the exact thing he was told not to do...all in front of our other children who behave appropriately (but are starting to test the waters, 'because if he can...') We feel that we've tried everything. Nothing is working. It's like he gets pleasure from it. He is only at our house every other weekend, or equivalent to 4 days a month, but those 4 days are torture. His suggestion to his behavior improving was to come to our house less. Last night we decided that he will not be joining us while we attend a holiday family outing. He was completely fine with it, but wanted to make sure we knew he still wanted to attend Christmas morning and family parties. But in the breath before, said he wanted to come here less...clearly receiving presents is priority. I'm to the point of putting whatever presents he gets into a bag and dropping it off at his mother's with a Merry Christmas tag. If he can't be a part of our family on any given Tuesday, am I wrong for thinking that he shouldn't get the perks of it? My husband is angry and disappointed and hurt, but we're at a loss. He gets rewarded by his mother when he 'chooses' to stay with her over us. We'll never win, but we still have a house to run. We need help!! What should we do? Thank you!!!
