Pre-teen : 10 year old - disobedient and disrespectful

Question

My son just turned 10 and has just completed 4th grade. We have been told he is impulsive, unfocused, etc. at school. My husband and I just realized that his teachers have been talking to us in code about ADHD.
He is a somewhat difficult child. He is messy and doesn't usually obey the first time. He also tends to argue and be verbally disrespectful to me. He does not behave the same way with my husband.
What action plan should I take?

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