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Self-Destructing Son

Question

I am so thankful for this site and your support. I feel empowered and encouraged.

It seems very recently that whenever my son is asked to do a chore, he injures himself. These are simple age appropriate chores such as put clean laundry away, help clean up dinner, tidy up toys etc. My son always seems to get an eye injury, walk into a wall/piece of furniture or jam his fingers in his child friendly wardrobe etc etc. This has never happened until recently and I think it is a new way of testing me.

Tonight, whilst asked to do chores my son constantly complained, huffed and puffed and spoke to me in a way I would never tolerate from a full grown adult. During this time I had decided it was appropriate for him to go straight to bed afterwards, but before he was done he started hitting his face with a book he was putting away shouting. When he was done, I told him because of the complaining and rudeness he was going straight to bed and because he chose to hit himself with a book, his book basket next to his bed would be removed. This didn't go down well but he knew I meant business and went to bed.

Should I continue what I am doing? I am learning new ways he is manipulating me and keep worrying that I am psychologically damaging him by anything I do. But I have to keep telling myself it is for his own good and I would never tolerate being spoken to or moaned at the way he does by an adult and if this behavior continues he will become very unpopular socially and in the workforce. Sometimes it is difficult to not see my child as an enemy and not feel critical of him though and trying to figure out a balance of love and nurture?

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