"Don't ask a child a question if you don't mean for the child to have a choice in the matter. "

Mom frustrated with resistant 13-year-old daughter


My 13 year old daughter has always had an issue with team sports .She is having self esteem issues and wants to lose weight .She participates in horse riding once a week as the distance is usually 90 min from my place and not helping with her weight loss.she is slightly over weight and wants to feel better i her skin. . we have also altered the diet I have also signed her up in a gym for private classes which is pretty expensive as she refuses to be part of a group .Im at my wits end with this behaviour .She is a loving child and has anxiety and every now and again it only manifests when i mention i have decided to put her in a team sport such as swimming as its the most convenient in terms of location and cost effective.i insist on swimming as she enjoys it as its local and also i have tried to engage her in every sport under the sun but to no avail.She even complains about walking when i ask her to join. she is desperate to lose weight and now insists that she will train herself .i have decided im going to call the shots without any consideration to her anxiety as i think im fueling it trying to cater to every comfort and need of hers.and have her deal with being part of a team .i have observed her and she seems to recover from the social anxiety pretty quickly but gets really stubborn when i mention enrolling her .Overall she seems a happy and well adjusted except when i make mention of sports.Please advise the best way to open the conversataion with her .

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