Custody Battle

Question

I am considering relinquishing my rights to my son for the fact that I can not continue with the father micromanaging my life and the LIES and deceit he brings to court and I feel so RELIEVED TO RID THIS FATHER but grieve over my son! This has been going on since birth of my son who is 9 years old with disabilities that father has used as a part of his alienation of me and my family. Father has BRAINWASHED child, I am convinced! Court doesn't see that father has never tried to be a COPARENT but a destroyer of our relationship!
This has been 9 years of him dragging me to court and the judge we had in beginning was seeing through fathers lies and deceptions but she retired and oh by the way the father works for the state and has gained favor and can afford the best of attorney in state of Ky and I have had to go with one who I am convinced did not know what she was doing!
Can you please HELP ME understand why I keep getting shut down by this judge a fathers attorney running the courtroom! I have had my son to tell me things that I didn't ask for that "daddy said " but I can't say what he says that shows that father has planted damaging seeds in his brain! At this point my son as his dad tells court, is resistant to be around me and my family! That he is having severe anxiety at the mention of ME!

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