Question
I have sole legal custody of my grandson who is 9. He has been with me since the age of 4. He was exposed to some pretty rough behavior including domestic violence, drugs and alcohol abuse. He was initially prone to angry outbursts and refusing to communicate. At about the age of 5, I took him to child counselors who did little more than let him talk. I saw little value in that and finally discontinued it when the counselor defied a court order to appear at custody hearings and testify. Through a lot of love and firm guidance he has made a lot of progress. He is now very loving, emotionally open, and eager to have healthy relationships. He loves to worship, pray and read scriptures. The problem is that he also often reverts back to lying, stealing, manipulating other kids and very cleverly covering his tracks in order to get the acceptance and gratification he so desires. Particularly at public school and occasionally away from my supervision with other adults who have a different (softer) parenting style than mine. I think this is to be expected, all things considered, and although serious, can be handled through godly, patient, methodical and wise parenting. Still, a few friends, including his godparents, seem to think he needs a mental health professional. He was recently caught stealing from other kids and was defiant with the teacher when caught. While I am concerned by his ability to casually lie at times and work to maintain his lies until caught red handed, I am not so sure that putting more focus and potentially a label or two on his behavior might not do more harm than good. What approach, book, next steps would you recommend?
