Question
My stepdaughter is 14. She makes good decisions but has anger issues. Yesterday I caught her climbing over a gate to the jacuzzi in our condo complex — we have a key, but she didn’t want to get it. We have told her not to climb gates. When I told her to get down and get the key, she argued with me. As she walked away, she ranted about me to her friend, so I told her no more hot tub. She gave the the middle finger discreetly but I saw it. Later her dad and I assigned her to copy 200 sentences about respecting authority. She started crying and I know she felt the sting of the punishment. She has begun completing the sentences, which need to be done in the next few days to avoid a bigger consequence. I’m still struggling with anger because she hasn’t shown remorse or apologized to me. She told a friend she didn’t do anything wrong and she’s the victim. How should we handle her lack of remorse in this situation to help develop her character instead of just giving consequences?
