Dear John,

We have a daughter, 14, who has developed bulimia.

She has always tended toward sweets. I prepared healthy, homemade food and always told my kids my mom's rule: you have to try it. I didn't prepare something separate for her and kept the processed food to every once in a while. My daughter would eat a little dinner, then want dessert. I didn't want to get into a food fight, so, as long as she finished some dinner, I'd let her have dessert. I felt like I had a balanced approach, but I must have gone wrong somewhere.

About six or eight months ago, we notice her becoming VERY thin. Her period, which started when she was 13, stopped. Then my husband noticed vomit in the toilet. Her friends alerted me to her vomiting and lack of eating. We took her in for counseling and the counselor said she needed an eating disorder specialist. We are devastated and I am full of guilt. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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