14 YEAR OLD USING FOOD AS A TOOL OF CONTROL

Question

14 yr old son - food a power struggle

Started out legit - rare dysautonomic condition (genetic) that makes a lot of food problematic. Also issues with low blood sugar. Picky eater out of necessity but learned to use it for power. Yes, I know that's my fault:(

Won't eat food provided 75% of time. If we want him to eat, we have to eat what he will eat. I refuse to be a short order cook.

Read a lot in Parent Guru and have read TeenProofing - confused about how to handle....

1 - cut him loose? he'll eat or not eat and all consequences will be his.

2 - make it a discipline issue? being hungry affects his performance in all areas . He'll eat what he's given or there will be disciplinary consequences for disobedience.

3 - autonomy? help him with a food budget & give him what we'd spend on him for the week. he makes the menu/list and does all shopping/prep/cooking.

When he was younger, no choice -it had to be a discipline issue.
Now?

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