Step-parent woes


I'm a step-dad to two girls 16 and 13. I have a daughter of my own 14. I'm having a difficult time with Perspective regarding raising teenagers as I have no clue. I like people to do things and get things done and a teenager is the exact opposite (Duh). My finance says most of what they do (leaving food out all day when were at work, hours of smartphone use, rooms are a mess) is really "Not Hurting Anything". I'm thinking these kids should be doing more around the house, cleaning their room, being accountable for their actions. The mistake my fiancé and I have made is that we allow them these phones that run their life day after day, hour after hour. I cringe when its time to leave work and go home. I try and hold the kids accountable and they don't like me for that especially the step kids. Can you please provide me some thought processes / perspectives to help me get through these next 6 years?


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