"To be an effective disciplinarian, you must be a model of self-discipline. "

Adult daughter gone - now it is mom's time.

Question

this concerns a 24 year old daughter. I'm disabled and although my daughter just moved out this past week I've been having issues with her telling me that it's not her "job" to help me for instance put on my compression stockings if I ask her to. And she has lived with me up until last week and paid no bills including her own phone bill or any food purchased and I asked her to help me out with getting a bill that is overdue to be shut off paid and she told me I need to grow up and no other disabled people expect their children to help them I should get a nurse and take advantage of programs for the disabled and that I am the only parent that does not pay for everything for their kid until they get moved out. So why should she have had to pay for anything. When she moved out she left all my clothing in the laundry wet and it mildewed and she left everything including her room in a mess and she told me that she had just gotten tired of doing things for me so she just quit doing it. When she moved out she also left all the trash that I had been asking her to carry out with her any time she left for work sitting. Multiple bags. I am in constant pain from my disability and would like to think that it's OK for me to ask for help. I am also a single parent with the father leaving years ago and no support. I am not sure how to handle our arguments over this as right now I just beg and then feel bad when she hurts me with her words of she thinks I owe her and she owes me nothing. Thanks for any helpful ideas how I should handle my relationship with her I am at a loss.

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