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4.5 year old push/hit/tantrum


Hi there,
We have been working with my 4.5 year old son with hitting/pushing and tantruming behaviours. His tantrums include loud wailing when he doesn’t like what he’s told to do. We’ve kicked him out of the Garden and not permitted toys, tv, playground or bday parties until he goes 30 days without a single episode. This is the toughest thing we’ve ever had to do! He usually goes about 5 days then he does some sort of physical aggression thing, or loud crying when told no. It’s taken him 2 months to get to this point of accumulating 17 stickers.. but today at kinder, he’d repeatedly flicked friend A’s face with a plush Dinosaur tail with friend B. Despite being told to stop by friend A, my son kept going. Friend A complained to his mother. My son claims he was just playing (probably true) but it’s a bit of a grey area.. I’ve asked him to go to his room for ignoring other people’s physical boundaries (yet again) - and he’s started crying. Now I’m not sure if this kind of crying classifies as a tantrum - I did tell him if he doesn’t stop crying, his stickers will go in the bin. He responds well to warnings and usually stops himself before escalating. It’s our way to helping him out of it. Seems to help him control himself. But Do you approve?
Furthermore, I am also not sure that this kind of playful hitting counts as physical aggression. I’m tempted to make him restart from day 1 but don’t want to be unfair. What are your thoughts?

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