Co-parenting woes.


Tonight I spoke with my ex-husband about disciplining our 4-year old daughter, of whom we share 50/50 custody. That's another question for another message. He said that in the midst of the situation, she asked him why mommy and daddy don't live together. He told her, and I'll try to get this as close to a quote as possible, "Mommy left daddy. Daddy was sick (when asked what "sick" meant he said "daddy was very sad"), and mommy left because she felt it was the right thing to do to protect you. Mommy and Daddy said lots of mean things to each other, which is one reason I want you to learn not to say mean things." He says God gave him these words of explanation in the moment.

I feel like this was a whole lot to lay on a 4 year old's shoulders, and has the slippery slope potential of worries like "Will Mommy leave me if I'm very sad or sick?"

Regardless of all the ways his answer was manipulative and inaccurate, is there some clean up I should do here? I feel like if I mention this at all, that it will make it seem important and worth worrying about to her. What SHOULD I say, if anything, if she ever asks me on her own, or you advise me to bring it up with her? Thank you.

Become A Member To View The Answer

Please register and purchase a subscription in order to view the answer. Existing members please log in.


Related Ages

Related Topics

View All Questions