7 yo Micromanaging Allergies?


Concerning my previous question, I tried to talk to my husband about removing the toys from my 7 year old's bedroom for acts of violence. But my husband will not allow this and still dismisses my careful discussions about Dr. Rosemond's techniques. I have decided that it is more important to support my husband's judgements, encourage him to follow through even when I disagree and follow through when he second guesses himself or makes excuses for the kids. I don't usually agree with his mild approach or when he messes up my ticket system - but I try to back him up anyway. And he's started backing me up as well. Now, something crazy is beginning to happen. The children are beginning to obey him! He has stopped yelling too. I am just beginning, but we are starting to experience a little bit of peace in our house for the first time.

Here is my next question. My 7 year old son is severely allergic to grass when it comes in contact with his skin. When exposed, his entire body is covered in sores for 6 weeks. I won't go into details about what happens, the severity of the condition or what we do to prevent it. But, I will say that last year, I micromanaged and hovered over every detail of his outdoor life. We have taken the necessary steps with doctors to do all we can for the last year. So, today, I turned him loose without supervision with a set of instructions (which he followed half-heartedly). He had a reaction. We are waiting to see the severity of the reaction. How much freedom should I give him? Should I go back to hovering and covering every inch of his body when outside? Should I give him freedom, at this age to make bad decisions, filling his body full of chemical medicines and steroids when it happens, risking that it could get worse with each exposure, his body covered in sores? At what point/age does he take responsibility for his actions for a serious, life-altering, but not life-threatening condition?

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