Hello, I am in desperate need of some outside direction/ viewing the situation. I have written a few times, and I honestly feel like a train wreck is in my home. I have a 13 year old adopted daughter that we got at birth. She was exposed prenatally to alcohol, tobacco, and I'm not completely sure about drugs. I have a 19 month old grandaughter/daughter, from an addiction situation. So life is really crazy with other issues. My 13 year old, I'll refer to her as C has always been defiant of anything pretty much. She seems to be getting worse and I don't know how to get a grip on making her obey. We seem to be stuck in a cycle of her mouth backtalking, will not do what she's told, I get so frustrated that I begin to mouth off to her, which I know I shouldn't do, but nonetheless..... I am major stressed. My marriage is not great, my husband of 36 years has messed our finances up terrible through bad decisions, so we are trying to get our house ready to sell, which adds to stress overload. I need to know if there is any way to tell if C has brain effects from prenatal exposure to chemicals, or is she just plain rebellious? I have studied Mr. Rosemond's lit. in the past but find myself overwhelmed to the utmost. I have zero time to study. I also deal with the addicts in my life, stealing and jail and so forth, and ..... menopause trying to knock me around. What I really need is to find out how to tell if Cadie is mentally affected of just choosing rebellion. I need direction really, really bad and am willing to do whatever it takes to salvage our home. P.S. while I was taking the time to write you my sweet, nature loving 78 year old dad was calling, needing me to come to his house to take pictures of a bird with a nest in his tomatoes! Sweet! I inherited his love of nature to the top!