"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

Is Adopted Child Happy?

Question

I have 2 children, my daughter is adopted from China. Husband and I make sure she knows she is very loved and wanted, I tell her I am open to ANY questions she has regarding her beginnings. (1yr.old) If I bring it up, she absolutely refuses to discuss her adoption with us. States "I don't know and I don't want to know". That is how she is choosing to deal with this at almost 15. She has never mentioned a situation where a peer has asked? But it is very likely someone has mentioned it to her at some point? As her Mom, I choose not to share this with others as I feel it is her decision, altho' it is somewhat obvious (I do have some Chinese features). She is a bit of a perfectionist, a VERY loyal friend, very perceptive, beyond her years. Pays very close attention to detail, esp. of friend's reactions and emotions. Very sensitive to other people's feelings, she can "read" people very well. I want to do all I can for her, I don't want this to morph into something damaging in later years? Obviously there are wounds that only God can heal but to refuse to speak of this concerns me. My question is, I have a young female counselor in mind who deals with adoption I have suggested a casual visit (I said I would go with or she could go alone) and got a complete refusal "you can take me I will sit there and not say a word". What do you suggest? Let it go or make an appointment. My heart aches for her heartache! Love her so much and we want to help her the best way possible,she is precious. thanks

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