14 year old wants to live with his father


I’ve been remarried for 3 years to my husband who has 2 other children. My 14 year old son spends 50/50 time with us and my husband’s two kids see us every other weekend. His father has since remarried and divorced with one son. My son wants to go live with his father. He blames my husband for his father’s unhappiness. His father encourages our son’s negative feelings and disrespect towards us. His father has given him a smart phone, laptop and unlimited freedom. My husband and I have strong feelings about raising kids with traditional family values. My son’s father treats women with disrespect, doesn’t manage money well and believes that a teenager should be allowed to “live his own life.” A year ago, they claimed that my husband and I were abusive so they could get an emergency hearing for custody and visitation. The judge would have dismissed the case except for the fact that my son had experimented with cutting just prior to this event. The judge saw through my son’s manipulation, but was concerned about him acting out to get his way so he split visitation 50/50. Now reaching age 14, my son keeps talking about living with his dad. His father has bragged to people we know that he’s going to get our son to come live with him and get back at me by making me pay child support. I’m torn about whether to let my son go or keep him in a safe and healthy environment.

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