Homeschooling a Defiant 5 yo


I thought my son had ADHD issues but I now realize he mostly has parenting issues. I wasn't parenting from a position of leadership or authority. I was allowing him to be manipulative, argumentative, distracted & disrespectful. I received confirmation when my husband told him to sit in time out for 30 minutes and he obeyed. No ADHD issues when daddy's in charge. However he's very smart, quick & creative and still lacks impulse control regardless of who's in charge. I believe this will improve as he matures and as we teach him to have self-control. I am now parenting from a position of authority & "lowering the boom" but my 5 year old son hasn't realized that I have changed & that he needs to be respectful & obedient. My husband tells me that I need to be patient and consistent. My concern is that we are homeschooling. I'm exhausted by noon from teaching & dealing with discipline issues at the same time. He's disrespectful & distracted during school and it affects my daughter's school. My husband isn't open to sending him to public school. He says that will only make the issues worse and that my son must learn to respect me. We had similar issues with my daughter and she's very respectful & obedient now. My son is tougher, stronger, & more difficult. My husband said that if he isnt respectful & obedient during school, then he should be in his room all day. And then my son will deal with the "superintendent" when he gets home. How do I not allow my sons behavior to affect my daughters school (because when I send him to his room, he keeps coming out & I keep sending him back)? In a situation like this, do you ever recommend sending one child to school while the othe one is homeschooled? How do I prevent discouragement when I don't see the changes I want to see? I know I want a "microwave behavior modification method" and there are none. . . be consistent and be patient.

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