Question
1. Our daughter has been taught how to properly take care of herself after using the bathroom and knows to wipe, flush, and wash hands after using. When I was teaching her she was able to do all these things very well to my amazement. She was very resilient to following the steps though and wanted to do it HER way she does not respond well to anyone telling her what or how to do something, very defiant attitude. Nonetheless she did what she was supposed to in front of me and she had no dirty underwear during this time. For a little while I stopped going with her and quickly saw that she was playing in the bathroom, taking much longer than needed, not wiping correctly, taking extra long to wash/play with the soap and water. Pretty sure she's not using enough toilet paper either and not fully wiping after peeing, underwear's are yellow and she started to stink. I think she is not going to the toilet at preschool either and holding it for fear of missing out or she's speeding through the process and not wiping well enough. When she goes to the bathroom on her own terms she takes her time and plays, but when I send her like before leaving the house or before dinner she speeds through the process so quickly that I know she did not do it correctly or she will forget to wash hands or flush.
2. We had given her full responsibility with taking herself to the bathroom and not needing to tell us when she needed to go in the past. We had a similar issue happen then too. She was constantly in the bathroom after being put to bed or days she was sent to her room the bathroom quickly become a favorite activity going frequently, playing with water, toilet paper. Etc. If she woke up early she was going back and forth multiple times before it was time to get up. Needless to say we quickly put an end to that and she had to tell us when she was going to the bathroom and we would just give her the ok that she could go.
We would like her to take herself efficiently since she can do all of it herself IF/WHEN she puts her mind to it. We would like to eliminate the "audience" here as she finds it amusing if we have to wipe her and stand there to see that she's doing what she needs to. How do we handle the "extra" times she would go after bedtime,during consequences etc. ?
P.s If we tell her that she is to now go by herself and that she does not need our okay to do so what do we do if she does not go like during the middle of the night or morning since she is used to hearing an "okay go ahead" she would just wait till she had an accident. She does the same thing if she is told to go to the hall carpet to finish her whining and specifically told she can come back when she is done, but she will not do it on her own terms.
