"As children grow older, parents must give them greater freedom, including greater freedom to make mistakes. "

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Being consistent.

Posted yesterday

Our 9 year old daughter has a legion of home and school misbehaviors (primarilly tantrums/hitting at home and agression/defiance at school) that have been occuring for years. After reading "The...

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10 Year Old's Life of Disobedience

Posted 4 days ago

My very bright 10-year-old son simply refuses to obey. He is child #2 of 4 kids. He seems to take up all of our parenting energy. He spent a lot of time in the office for the first half of grade...

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5 yo refuses to stay in room

Posted 5 days ago

Sort of follow up on last question/sort of a new question - for my almost 5-year old - I have been doing the pass system at night for 3 weeks and it's not going well. He ends up spending several...

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Bedtime woes

Posted 1 week ago

My older son will be 5 next month and shares a room with my middle child, who is 3.5 years old this month. My almost-5 year old has started having nighttime fears and is coming out of his room a...

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8 yo No Birthday Celebration While Punished?

Posted 1 week ago

This is follow up question that was answered by Tim Bonzagni regarding "8 yro hurting others using ticket system." After having the discussion with the 8 yro about hurting others and the lack...

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7 Year Old's Nihilistic Talk

Posted 1 week ago

I have a 7 year old son who just happily started second grade. He is extremely bright and normal in every way. No major discipline problems, no unexplained behavior. Sometimes he complains...

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Can't tell who is in charge.

Posted 1 week ago

What is the impact on a child when one parent challenges, contradicts, minimizes, dismisses the other parent's dealing with a child in front of the child? We just spent a week of vacation with...

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Bullying or Belittling?

Posted 1 week ago

Sibling Bullying vs. Belittling Our 12 and 10 ½ year old sons are very different kids. We call the oldest “the lawyer.” He’s an over-achiever, good in sports, and highly...

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Disciplining Foster Children

Posted 1 week ago

My husband and I have four foster children in our home. The youngest two boys (ages 5 & 6) struggle with self regulation (worse when tired, like the rest of us), and with their history (severe...

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Protecting Great Grandson

Posted 2 weeks ago

We have had legal guardianship of our great-grandson for the last 2 years. He is now 4 years old. The grandfather is disabled and both his parents are drug addicts. My question is should we...

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Toddler training

Posted 2 weeks ago

My husband and I are looking for advice on how to discipline our 16 month old. He is a very energetic toddler, running around and getting into everything he can. We have a baby gate up to stop him...

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16 Year Old Daughter's Continued Rebellion

Posted 2 weeks ago

I wrote a few months ago about my daughter who I caught drinking. It turns out that it wasn't a blip on the radar with her. Given her behavior of late (defensive, sneaky), I tracked her location...

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15-year-old doesn't like being "un-hinged!"

Posted 2 weeks ago

We have an adopted son, almost 16 yo, who has been with us for 2 1/2 years. He spent most of his earlier life in an over-crowded orphanage, with very little male influence and little supervision....

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Terrible Transition to Three

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 3 year old is a bully. She is starting 1st pre-school soon, Picks on 2 year old sister (sleep in same room, in cribs but climbs out) uncontrollable screaming when not going her way, snatches...

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4 Year Old Bedwetting Trials

Posted 2 weeks ago

Our 4.5 year old son has been day time potty trained since 22 months but has NEVER been night time dry. He had his tonsils and adenoids out a few months ago and our pediatrician said that may help...

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Sleepng arragements that got out of hand.

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have 3yo twin boys. We are dealing with terrible sleep issues. They used to sleep through the night from 12 months to 2.5 years. We did have to do "cry it out" method at 12 months for one of...

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Mom has authority - needs follow through.

Posted 2 weeks ago

How do you "make" your child listen? I have 3 year old twins boys that when I say "pick up your toys" or anything of the like they say "no, i will not pick up my toys". How do I make them? If...

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5 yo disrespect must be nipped in the bud

Posted 3 weeks ago

My 5 year old son is willfully disobedient, defiant and enters into a rage when disciplined. He will hit, kick and throw things at me and tells me he hates me and threatens to "cut my face off"...

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Consequences when Room Sharing

Posted 3 weeks ago

We are using the ticket system with great success! It is really helping. Thankfully we have not had to send any kids to their rooms for a super long period of time but I want to be prepared for...

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How to decide on extracurriculars for 7 & 8 yo

Posted 3 weeks ago

We want to start preparing for the school year and get a game plan for our family. Couple of questions...what are your thoughts about extra curricular activities? We have fought the battle of...

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Appropriate After School Schedule

Posted 3 weeks ago

What is an appropriate afterschool game plan for a 1st grader and 3rd grader? Can you give me some advice on how to handle homework, chores, and bedtime for this age? What type of expectations...

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Cry Baby 3 year old

Posted 4 weeks ago

Hi, I have a 3 and a half year old boy that I need help with. He has always been more sensitive than your average child (I also have a 5 and 2 year old girls so I do have a comparison of what...

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Challenges of the two parent home.

Posted 4 weeks ago

Hello, I have 2 boys, 14 and 16 years old. I am divorced from their father. Their father and I have a civil relationship regarding the boys. We have always disagreed in the general rearing of the...

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!1 Year Old Trouble Adjusting

Posted on 7/22/2017

My son is 11 yo. He has autism. Tonight he told me that he should not live because he will never be able to achieve his dreams, that he will not be able to have a wife and children because he...

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Sibling Conflict

Posted on 7/22/2017

Our 13-year-old son teases his eight year old sister to no end. She reacts dramatically to the teasing (he loves getting a rise out of her, so I'm sure her reaction is his reward). She'll scream...

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When an Adult Child Needs Help

Posted on 7/20/2017

Our 29 year old son was essentially a model child growing up- a good student with very few behavior issues. He graduated college in 2010, during which time he was was charged twice for...

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Diet is a 4 letter word

Posted on 7/18/2017

I wrote before about my 7 year old son asking if he’s fat and complaining about his thighs. While I agree that it’s a teaching moment about treating others kindly, the truth is he probably does...

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How to Stop Mommy-Hitting Toddler

Posted on 7/18/2017

Hi there, my 22 month old likes to slap/hit me when he's upset. At home I've started using timeout, which helps. What do I do when I do when he does it in public? I've read Making the Terrible...

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Too young for consequences?

Posted on 7/18/2017

My 20 month old son is doing typical 2 year old behaviors testing limits. More and more often he completely ignores my instructions. The past few days I have put him in his tantrum spot, his old...

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Diagnosis and parenting.

Posted on 7/17/2017

Our 8-year old daughter was psychologically evaluated upon a request from her school and pediatrician. This was done for a determination of possible ADHD or Autism Spectrum issues. The results of...

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Toddlers and Tickets?

Posted on 7/17/2017

Firstly, thanks for your response about the difficulties with potty training. I had discussed using stickers as an incentive for pooping in the potty, and I am seeing the light of not using...

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Never argue with a 5 year old.

Posted on 7/16/2017

My one and only gives the vibe she is superior to her classmates by contradicting them, telling them they are wrong or having show off behaviour. I'm afraid she will not have any friends, but am...

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2-yo instigator needs the Doctor's orders

Posted on 7/16/2017

This is a follow up question to Toddler Bedtime Bedlam. We've been following the advise to calmly tell our 3 and 2 year old they must stay in bed every night, sometimes we go in up to 7 times a...

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2yo testing limits

Posted on 7/16/2017

Hello, my 22 month old is testing his limits- hitting me, screaming when he needs help (he has a speech delay), spilling water from his cup and doing it again after being told not to, etc. I've...

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Require respect from college-age daughter

Posted on 7/16/2017

Our college student, who holds down a full time job in the summer and a 20-hour part-time job during the school year when she lives on campus, seems incapable or unwilling to follow through on the...

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Morning Mealtime Meltdowns: Four-Year-Old Edition

Posted on 7/11/2017

I'm afraid we've created a mealtime monster. My daughter just turned 4. She is not a morning person. She's also a suspected hypoglycemic. This has not been medically confirmed because when I...

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8 yro hurting others using ticket system

Posted on 7/11/2017

Our 8 year old son has had some instances of badly hurting others. He's aggressively hurt kids at school twice and the school has intervened. In both instances, we have punished him at home as...

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Adjusting to Toddler Bed

Posted on 7/10/2017

Hello, my 22 month old is now sleeping in his toddler bed. Of course, he is getting up frequently. We have a baby gate at his doorway. My question is- what do you do when he gets out of his bed?...

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Chaos ensues when a 3 year old is in charge.

Posted on 7/10/2017

Hello Dr. Rosemond- I am a mother of two boys- age 1 and 3 (almost 4 on the 19th of July). It is the 4 year old I am writing to you about. I know much of his behavior is typical toddler...

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Dangerous 2 year old behavior

Posted on 7/8/2017

My 28-month-old regularly loosens his car seat straps by pushing the button between his legs and using the weight of his shoulders to loosen the straps. I tried making the straps very tight, but...

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9 yo Sensitivity to Clothes and ADHD

Posted on 7/6/2017

My son who is 9yr old has had sensitivity issues for a long time. Tags rubbing on the back of his neck, tight clothing, loose clothing etc drives him crazy. His two other siblings don't...

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Whining

Posted on 7/6/2017

I have read quiet a bit of John's articles, books and listen to his podcasts. He doesn't talk about whining. Our kids drive us absolutely crazy with whining all day long. They complain...

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3 yo Hitting

Posted on 7/6/2017

My boys are 11 months apart just turned 3 and 2. The older boy has taken to hitting and kicking the younger one lately. At first it wasn't too bad and I tried not to make an issue of it. I would...

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Bedtime solution requires consistency.

Posted on 7/5/2017

My 9 year old daughter is afraid to sleep in her own room. She has comes to us numerous times before falling asleep. She will often have nightmares and come to us in the middle of the night. She...

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9 yo Worry Wart

Posted on 7/5/2017

Our 9 year old daughter is worrying about everything! This started a few months ago. She worries about liking boys, wrong thoughts about other people's race or weight, thoughts about kissing or...

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22 mo Hates the Potty

Posted on 7/4/2017

Hello, my 22 month old son HATES the potty. I use the timer and tell him it's time to go pee-pee. He kicks and he screams while putting him on there. Then, he yells at the top of his lungs the...

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Potty Training Twins

Posted on 7/4/2017

Hi John and team, We have 2.5 year old twin girls. One cares not at all if she wets or poops herself, so naked and $75 is not working for us. The other twin gets severely constipated we're not...

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Toddler Can't Sit on Potty

Posted on 7/4/2017

Hi there, if my toddler is having trouble balancing (sitting and standing from his potty), what can I do besides me doing it for him each time? Thank you!

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10 yo girl adores/imitates bad boy 14 yo brother

Posted on 7/2/2017

My 10-yr old daughter adores her 14-yr old brother. My son (the 14-yr old), however, is currently going through a period (I hope it's just a period) where he is being deceitful, sneaky, and...

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Shoplifting teen blames Mom

Posted on 7/2/2017

I'm feeling guilty. In the last couple of months my son has been in trouble with the police,(for shoplifting) and at school. Home life has been very difficult. I have made him take responsibility,...

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