John's Articles
Stepfamily or Just "Family"
Posted on 6/20/2011
A journalist called me the other day wanting me to make some pithy, erudite comments on the subject of the so-called "stepfamily." I am eminently qualified, I propose, to remark on the subject...
Read MoreRaising Children to be Good Neighbors and Good Citizens
Posted on 5/3/2011
I'm reasonably certain that my parents never used the term "John's needs." Since having this thought, I've asked a handful of folks my age, "Do you think your parents ever talked about your needs...
Read MoreParents Giving Instruction to Children
Posted on 4/19/2011
To thank or not to thank kids, that is the question Q: When a parent is giving a child an instruction, like "pick up your toys, " should the parent use "please"? My wife says we should model...
Read MoreBoundaries with Children
Posted on 4/12/2011
Moms must enforce boundaries with children A journalist recently began an interview with me with this question: "What is the biggest problem in American parenting today? Is it sex, drugs,...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Neediness
Posted on 4/5/2011
I'm-growing-up list for neediness Q: My daughter, who is 5, relies on me far too much. All through the day, she asks me to do simple things for her like get her a glass of water or help her put...
Read MoreDiscipline Issues
Posted on 3/22/2011
Flyswatter approach to discipline fails The human desire for short-term gratification is getting stronger all the time as technology and fast food, among other things, deliver satisfaction in...
Read MoreCharlie Babbit's father was right as rain, man
Posted on 3/8/2011
In one of the more paradoxical scenes from the movie Rain Main, Charlie Babbitt, the character played by Tom Cruise, tells his girlfriend the presumably poignant story of how a dispute over a car...
Read MoreLearned Helplessness
Posted on 2/1/2011
'Tiger mom' says she was kidding? Please Stop the presses! I interrupt this column with an important update: Infamous Chinese Tiger Mother Amy Chua, whose account of her parenting methods...
Read MoreUse of The Doctor to Resolve Parenting Issues
Posted on 12/21/2010
The Doctor is a benign, effective invention William Meyer, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Duke University, objects to a recent column of mine in which I recommended that parents move a...
Read MoreGrowing Up in the 1950s
Posted on 8/31/2010
What today's kids are missing What do today's children seriously lack that children in the 1950s and before enjoyed in abundance? To assist the reader in figuring out the answer before it is...
Read MoreEffective Parent Leadership
Posted on 8/24/2010
Effective leaders earn and show respect Q: I recently read an article that said adults need to earn the respect of children. That seems like one more "progressive" attempt to undermine parental...
Read More13-Year-Old Girl Making Bad Decisions
Posted on 6/22/2010
Do right, even when kids do wrong A headstrong teen's bad decisions can test parents' resolve and confidence. Q: Our 13-year-old daughter recently told us that she wants to be like everyone...
Read MoreFundamentals of Leadership Parenting
Posted on 6/15/2010
Leadership takes only a few words A teacher from San Diego recently attended a workshop of mine in which I explain the simple fundamentals of "Leadership Parenting." The fundamentals in...
Read MoreChildren Need Leadership
Posted on 6/1/2010
Children need leaders, not managers Over 40 years of behavior modification propaganda has the typical American parent convinced that the discipline of a child is accomplished by effectively...
Read MoreWhat Would Grandma Do?
Posted on 4/20/2010
I travel the country eight months a year, making presentations to various groups, and parents ask me lots of questions, usually of a "What should I do?" nature. The issues run the gamut, but most...
Read MoreToday's Mothers Need to Have More Authority Over Their Children
Posted on 9/22/2009
I was talking to a mother about a disciplinary issue she was having with one of her children. At one point, she said: "I feel like it's my job to be the nurturer." That told me why she was...
Read MoreAmerican Parenting Began Downhill Slide in the 1960s
Posted on 5/26/2009
KIDS NEED LIMITS, EVEN WITH LOVE My recent series, "I'm ready for the 1960s to be over and done with, " set off nervequakes in some readers. (The entire series is still available at...
Read MoreDemocratic Family Creates Tyranny
Posted on 3/31/2009
DEMOCRACY WITH KIDS IS REALLY TYRANNY This week, as I continue taking issue with parenting styles born in the '60s, I explore the notion that the family should be democratic. My wife,...
Read MoreBecause I Said So 3
Posted on 3/24/2009
'BECAUSE I SAID SO' SHOULD SAY IT ALL Last week's column concerned the corrosive 1960s idea that children should be allowed to express their feelings freely, which all too many of today's kids...
Read MoreChildren Should Not Be Allowed to Freely Express Anything
Posted on 3/17/2009
'60S ARE OVER: FREE EXPRESSION IS OUT I don't know about you, but I'm ready for the 1960s to be over and done with. That destructive decade has ruled American parenting for 40 years and pretty...
Read MoreMore Parents Saying Yes to No
Posted on 3/10/2009
A POSITIVE SIGN: MORE PARENTS SAYING 'YES' TO 'NO' While walking through one of my favorite discount stores the other day, I happened upon a scene that gave me hope for America's future. It was...
Read MoreParenting Does Not Produce the Child
Posted on 2/24/2009
PARENTS' GUILT IS OFTEN MISPLACED One of the defining features of today's parenting mindset is guilt. Today's moms seem to be especially susceptible. Fifty years and more ago, before the...
Read MoreParents' Firm Stance Brings Fast Results
Posted on 2/17/2009
PARENTS' FIRM STANCE BRINGS FAST RESULTS This column is about a school-age boy who recently learned a valuable lesson in the hardest of ways. At their most recent conference, the boy's...
Read MoreDon't Substitute Relationship For Leadership
Posted on 2/3/2009
ADULT LEADERSHIP PROMOTES THE BEST DISCIPLINE A recent column in which I said that behavior modification doesn't work on humans stirred things up. Not surprising, given that some of today's...
Read MoreUse Chair of Wisdom for 8-Year-Old and 10-Year-Old Girls
Posted on 1/27/2009
IF 'NO' DOESN'T WORK, GET THE CHAIR OF WISDOM Q. Our 8- and 10-year-old daughters came to me and asked if they could go to the movies with two friends from school that they wanted to "get to...
Read MoreParents Should Make Decisions for Child
Posted on 12/16/2008
KIDS SHOULDN'T MAKE CHOICES; THAT'S FOR PARENTS My wife and I were seated in a restaurant when a family was shown a table near us. Immediately the parents began asking their little girl...
Read MoreParents' Hard-Line Stance Will Serve Their Sons Well
Posted on 12/9/2008
PARENTS' HARD-LINE STANCE WILL SERVE THEIR SONS WELL Every so often, and usually just as I am about to resign myself to the folly of postmodern parenting, I run across a story involving parents...
Read MoreParenting 101: More Chores, Less Electronics
Posted on 12/2/2008
MORE CHORES, LESS TV GOOD FOR KIDS This is the conclusion of Parenting 101, a two-part overview of the fundamentals of parenting. We've established that parenting is about leadership and...
Read MoreParenting 101: Effective Leadership, Marriage First, Boundaries, Say No More Than Yes
Posted on 11/25/2008
THE FIRST RULE OF PARENTING: YOUR MARRIAGE COMES FIRST Welcome to Parenting 101, a two-part introduction to the fundamentals of effective child raising. Upon passing this course, which will...
Read MoreChildren Love to be Ignored
Posted on 11/11/2008
CHILDREN WOULD PREFER TO BE IGNORED Here's something you already know, but don't know you know: Children love to be ignored. Mind you, I'm not talking about neglect. I'm talking about ignored,...
Read MoreParents Should Not Be Involved With Their Children
Posted on 10/14/2008
LET KIDS LEARN LESSONS VIA TRIAL-AND-ERROR Q: In a recent column you had the audacity to say that parents should not be involved with their children. Can you elaborate and explain? A....
Read MoreCouples are Husband and Wife Before Father and Mother
Posted on 9/30/2008
CHILDREN DON'T BENEFIT FROM OBSESSIVE PARENTS A journalist recently asked me to name the No. 1 problem facing today's family. To her surprise, I said, "A confusion of roles." In today's...
Read MoreParents Talk and Explain Too Much
Posted on 7/1/2008
LET ME EXPLAIN: KIDS AREN'T ALWAYS DUE AN EXPLANATION In the mid-1970s, I attended a seminar that promised to train me to become an instructor in positive discipline methods. It turned out that...
Read MoreHIgh School Girl Blame Game
Posted on 4/8/2008
A LITTLE HUMOR WILL BURST TEENAGER'S INFLATED EGO Q. Our daughter has average ability but a better than average view of herself. She's in high school and her self-esteem is getting in the way...
Read MoreA Father Undermining A Mothers Authority
Posted on 1/1/2008
Q: My husband often undermines my authority where the kids are concerned. For example, I believe that my children should eat what ever I put in front of them for supper. I refuse to be a...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Taking Things From Parents Without Permission
Posted on 12/25/2007
IS 5-YEAR-OLD MANIPULATIVE? NOT REALLY - SHE'S JUST CURIOUS EDITOR'S NOTE: John Rosemond is on vacation. This column first appeared in 1985. Of all the myths associated with children and...
Read MoreParent Leadership 101
Posted on 12/18/2007
WANT TO BE A GOOD PARENT? THEN LEAD If in a 50-employee workplace, several employees are misbehaving, the problem lies with the employees. But if half of the employees are misbehaving, the...
Read More3 - Year - Old - Child Controlling Parent
Posted on 11/20/2007
Don't let child control you Q. My 3-year-old is a control freak. She's usually agreeable and obeys the first time more often than not. However, she often attempts to control her...
Read MoreParent Leadership: Effective Parents Act Like They Know What They Are Doing
Posted on 9/25/2007
A GOOD PARENT IS A DECISIVE PARENT I've said it before, but it cannot be said often enough: The discipline of a child is not accomplished by manipulating reward and punishment. Yes, a child...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Throwing Tantrums
Posted on 8/7/2007
SENSE OF HUMOR IS ESSENTIAL FOR HANDLING REBELLIOUS CHILD Q. Our middle child, 5, is aggressive, loud and disrespectful when anyone dares to deny her or make her do something she doesn't...
Read MoreBe Firm, Patient With Keyed-Up Child
Posted on 7/10/2007
BE FIRM, PATIENT WITH KEYED-UP CHILD Q: My 5-year-old son has an enormous amount of energy and is very excitable. When he gets keyed up, he often acts without thinking. Yesterday he was hugging...
Read MoreEffective Parent Leaders
Posted on 5/22/2007
TO RAISE RESPECTFUL CHILDREN, YOU MUST BE A GOOD LEADER The term "parenting," which didn't come into vogue until the late 1960s, obscures the fact that raising a child is no less a leadership...
Read MoreToo Big For Their Britches
Posted on 5/8/2007
HAVE YOU LET YOUR CHILDREN GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES? When I was a child, my parents found frequent reason to tell me that I was a small fish in a big pond. Sometimes, to keep me on my...
Read MoreCannot Talk an Aggressive Child out of Misbehaving
Posted on 4/17/2007
YADA-YADA DISCIPLINE DOESN'T WORK WITH AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN In a recent article on co-sleeping - the peculiar practice of sleeping with one's child or children to facilitate "bonding" - I made...
Read MoreDiscipline is Leadership
Posted on 3/6/2007
KIDS BALKING? TRY LEADERSHIP I have said many times before, but I cannot say it often enough: Discipline is leadership. It is not punishment-ship, reward-ship, or consequence-ship. It is the...
Read MoreRespect, Responsibility, and Resourcefulness
Posted on 7/18/2006
PARENTS HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SHAPE A CHILD'S CHARACTER One of the great ironies of our time is that today's parents, with more professional resources at their disposal than ever, are...
Read More10 Ways Parents Can Raise Well-Adjusted Kids
Posted on 7/11/2006
<b>How to grow a happy child, part one:</b> If you are married, have a more active relationship with one another than you have with your children. Spend more time in the roles of husband and wife...
Read MoreDiscipline of a Child is not Primarily a Matter of Applying Right Consequences
Posted on 6/27/2006
CONSEQUENCES ARE IMPORTANT, BUT THEY DON'T CHANGE BEHAVIOR Last week's column left the reader in suspense. In keeping with my contrarian nature, I said that the proper discipline of a child is...
Read MoreAdult Leadership is Key to Effective Discipline of Kids
Posted on 6/20/2006
ADULTS' LEADERSHIP IS THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE OF KIDS The question journalists most frequently ask me: "Is there one question parents ask most frequently?" Actually, there is, but...
Read MoreParenting is Common-Sensical
Posted on 5/30/2006
YEARS OF PSYCHOBABBLE HAVE CLOUDED OUR COMMON SENSE A few questions recently asked me by several people, including a journalist, and my answers (these have been edited and modified for...
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