John's Articles
Impulse Control: A Hallmark of Life
Posted on 8/5/2014
A mom recently asked me what I would say to my son if he was twelve years old and wanted a Mohawk haircut for the summer. I told her I’d say no. “But is it really that...
Read MoreTo Help or Not To Help?
Posted on 6/3/2014
I recently asked a group of 50 teachers: “Raise your hand if you agree that when a child comes to an adult asking for help with an academic problem, the adult should help.” ...
Read MoreDoes Animal Torture = Sociopath?
Posted on 4/15/2014
Q: My 18 year old son and a slightly younger friend recently found some mice and decided to dispose of them. They drowned one and set the other one on fire. When I confronted my son for torturing...
Read MoreBiting Finger Nails: What to do?
Posted on 1/21/2014
Q: What can be done to stop a nineteen year old from biting his finger nails? This has been an ongoing habit from early childhood. He's obviously damaging his fingers and maybe even his teeth....
Read MoreConsequences
Posted on 11/12/2013
Q: We have discovered that our 17-year-old son recently went to school, checked in, and then, a short time later, left. To our knowledge, he's never done this before. His explanation was that he...
Read MoreTheir Biology Makes Them Do It!
Posted on 10/22/2013
The "their biology makes them do it!" hypothesis concerning the oft-horrid behavior of today's teens keeps on rolling along, charming parents of said teens into the comforting belief that...
Read MoreKicking Out of the Garden of Eden [Explained]
Posted on 10/6/2013
Kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden John's "Garden of Eden" statement: Other Q and A or articles about this method may be searched by using the keyword "Garden" Below is detailed...
Read MoreMy Son Hates Me
Posted on 5/14/2013
Q: I went into my 17-year-old's bedroom to wake him this morning. After some urging, he eventually got up and then told me he hated me. What is the appropriate consequence for this sort of...
Read MoreShould I Let My 17-Year-Old Son Go on 'Senior Beach Week'?
Posted on 3/12/2013
<b>Q: In our city, most of the high school seniors participate in “Senior Beach Week” during spring break. They rent beach houses and condos and party like there’s no tomorrow. Alcohol, marijuana...
Read MoreLast Chance for Major Change
Posted on 2/5/2013
Q: Our 17-year-old is a highly spoiled underachiever. As a junior in high school, he's failing two classes and borderline in the rest. We know that his problems are largely due to our parenting...
Read More16-Year-Old Girl Sports Issue
Posted on 12/6/2011
Teen backs out on sports role Q: Our 16-year-old daughter has said three times over the past two years that she wants to play on the traveling soccer team. The coaches have actually asked her...
Read More17-Year-Old Girl Dating Issue
Posted on 11/1/2011
Daughter is 17, but dad forbids dating Q: My husband won't allow our 17-year-old daughter to date. She is an excellent student, very involved in activities at school and church, and has never...
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Should Shoulder Responsibility
Posted on 5/17/2011
Teen should pay for rejected glasses Q: My 16-year-old son refuses to wear his glasses. For the past two years, I have offered to get him contact lenses for his birthday, but he has refused. He...
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Disrespecting Parents
Posted on 5/17/2011
Behind their backs Q: Our 16-year-old son is respectful to our faces. He does what he is told and is generally a good kid. On a number of occasions, I have overheard him speaking with his...
Read MoreTeen-age Boys Restrictions
Posted on 5/17/2011
Easing restrictions Q: Because of some grade problems, our two teenage boys were told to stay on campus for lunch in order to catch up on their studying. We found a suspicious receipt, so we...
Read MoreCell Phones and Texting
Posted on 3/29/2011
Teach teens cellphone manners A reader asks if I have ever written a column on texting while eating in restaurants. She writes: "Recently my husband and I observed a small group at a table near...
Read More15-Year-Old Boy's Grades Dropping
Posted on 3/8/2011
Hold fast to restrictions on slacker son Q. Our son, a 15-year-old high school sophomore, was an honor student until he got to high school and took up with kids who think good grades are...
Read MoreCharlie Babbit's father was right as rain, man
Posted on 3/8/2011
In one of the more paradoxical scenes from the movie Rain Main, Charlie Babbitt, the character played by Tom Cruise, tells his girlfriend the presumably poignant story of how a dispute over a car...
Read MoreKids Hitting Parents
Posted on 2/22/2011
A hidden abuse problem: Kids who assault parents One of the more heartbreaking consequences of the "psychological" parenting philosophy and style that American parents began adopting in the...
Read More16-Year-Old Girl Lying
Posted on 12/28/2010
Q. We allow our almost 16-year-old daughter to text on weekends if her grades through the week have been good. She knows I read almost all of what she writes. It disturbs me that she's telling...
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Delusional Plans
Posted on 12/14/2010
Sometimes a kid has to dream Q: Our 16-year-old son is talking of going to a local community college after high school and living with one of his friends. He says he needs to find a job soon so...
Read More17-Year-Old Boy Underachiever
Posted on 2/9/2010
Getting back on track Q. Our 17-year-old is a perennial underachiever. He's had up and down grades all through school. Other than this one problem, he's a great kid - respectful, sensitive,...
Read More18-Year-Old Girl's Body Piercing
Posted on 1/19/2010
LEARN TO PICK YOUR BATTLES TO WIN TEEN WAR I'm painfully aware that because I have a deserved reputation for taking a "no nonsense" approach to discipline, I am generally expected to always...
Read MoreClarification on Military Accepting GEDs
Posted on 12/8/2009
CLARIFICATION ON MILITARY ACCEPTING GEDS A recent column in which I advised the parents of a teen to let him drop out of high school, get his GED, and join the Army has been challenged by some...
Read More15-Year-Old Boy to Drop Out of School and Join Military
Posted on 11/24/2009
Corrections: The following correction appeared after this story was published: A recent column in which I advised the parents of a teen to let him drop out of high school, get his GED, and join...
Read More16-Year-Old Driving Privilege
Posted on 11/10/2009
TEENS, CARS, DRIVER'S LICENSES - A RECIPE FOR DISASTER, PAIN My oldest grandson, not yet 15, is taking driver's education. In fact, he's already been behind the wheel with his instructor, on an...
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Cursing
Posted on 8/18/2009
HOW TO CURB 16-YEAR-OLD'S CURSING Q: My 16-year- old son has started using curse words in our home. What's the best way to deal with this? A. I would imagine that a youngster who has never...
Read MoreTeen Drivers
Posted on 6/16/2009
STICKER MAY BE BIGGER HAZARD THAN TEEN DRIVER The legislature and governor of New Jersey have lost their collective common sense, which is to say they are politicians. The former passed and the...
Read MoreGive Older Children Some Freedom
Posted on 10/21/2008
GIVE OLDER CHILDREN SOME FREEDOM TO ROAM From the time I was 12, my parents would let me walk from our house in Westchester, Ill., to the bus stop five blocks away, catch a bus to the...
Read More16-Year-Old Girl Tells Younger Siblings What To Do
Posted on 9/9/2008
TRY HUMOR TO DISCOURAGE KIDS' DRAMA Q. Our 16-year-old daughter constantly tells her younger siblings what to do and how to do it, and that the way they do things isn't good enough. It creates...
Read MoreHIgh School Girl Blame Game
Posted on 4/8/2008
A LITTLE HUMOR WILL BURST TEENAGER'S INFLATED EGO Q. Our daughter has average ability but a better than average view of herself. She's in high school and her self-esteem is getting in the way...
Read MoreTeenage Girl Sneaks Out of the House and is Disrespectful
Posted on 4/1/2008
Q. Do you believe in sending children to military school? Our young teenage daughter has twice snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. We are shocked and hurt by her lack of respect for...
Read More18-Year-Old Boy Defiant
Posted on 3/11/2008
Defiant 18-year-old Q. We have a son who just turned 18 (but is still a junior in high school) and a 14-year-old freshman daughter. While my husband and I were away, our son went to visit his...
Read MoreHigh School Girl's Dropping Grades and Attitude
Posted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read More17-Year-Old Boy Wants to Skip College
Posted on 1/29/2008
17-YEAR-OLD WANTS TO SKIP COLLEGE Q. Our 17-year-old son doesn't want to go to college because he hates school, says nothing interests him, and that going would be a waste of our money. He...
Read MoreSchool Uniforms Restrict Kids Choices
Posted on 8/14/2007
SCHOOL UNIFORMS RESTRICT KIDS' CHOICES (THAT'S A GOOD THING) Whenever I hear parents arguing for their children's "right of expression," I can't help but suspect that these are parents who...
Read More17-Year-Old Does Not Want To Go To College
Posted on 6/26/2007
HELP! OUR 17-YEAR-OLD SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE Q: Our 17-year-old son just graduated from high school and doesn't want to go to college. I think he should get a job and take...
Read MoreAre All Teens Crazy?
Posted on 2/27/2007
Are teenagers basically nuts? Michael J. Bradley thinks so. An educational psychologist and therapist, Bradley's the author of "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind."...
Read MoreHigh School Boy Likes Playing with Younger Kids
Posted on 10/31/2006
Young playmates Q: Our son, a high school sophomore, continues to play with neighborhood kids that are still in elementary school despite us asking him to hang with kids more his age. We have...
Read More17-Year-Old Dating Issue
Posted on 7/25/2006
SON MAY BE INDISCREET, BUT HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED Q: My 17-year-old son came home with a large red hickey on his neck, presumably given to him by his girlfriend. I'm inclined to...
Read More18-Year-Old Wants to Drive Across USA
Posted on 6/13/2006
Females face more dangers Q: Our 18-year-old daughter, who just graduated from high school, has announced that she and two of her girlfriends want to drive across the United States and back...
Read MoreTeenage Articles: Co-Ed Slumber Party and Teenage Research
Posted on 4/4/2006
A 'SUPERVISED' CO-ED TEENAGE SLUMBER PARTY? VERY STUPID IDEA A journalist recently asked me to name some of the dumbest things I've heard concerning teenagers and their parents. I immediately...
Read MoreIt's Never Too Late to Teach the Three R's
Posted on 3/17/2006
In order for a child to become successful at the three R's of reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic, their parents must first teach them the three R's of respect, responsibility, and...
Read MoreTracking Devices and Child's Right to Privacy
Posted on 11/22/2005
TEENS' SAFETY SHOULD ALWAYS TRUMP PRIVACY Have you heard the news? New-generation high-tech devices will allow you to track your kids' movements, what they are eating, and even whether or...
Read MoreAmerican Parenting is Producing Children, not Adults
Posted on 10/4/2005
WHEN CHILDHOOD GOES ON TOO LONG A fellow who is unhappy with my point of view recently wrote a letter to John K. Rosemond which closed with "After all, it takes 18 to 20 years to 'grow a...
Read More11- and 14-Year-Old Computer Use
Posted on 9/13/2005
SUPERVISE CHILDREN'S INTERNET USE ESTABLISH FIRM GUIDELINES, AND THAT SHOULD INCLUDE LOOKING AT THEIR E-MAILS Q: My husband and I have allowed our 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son...
Read MoreCo-Ed Teen Sleepovers
Posted on 9/6/2005
2 FREQUENT QUESTIONS ON TEENS I've received a good number of inquiries of late concerning two subjects of interest to parents of teens. One is: "What do you think about co-ed...
Read MoreBuying a Car for a 16-Year-Old
Posted on 9/6/2005
The other popular subject: "Should I buy a car for my 16-year-old?" In the hands of a teenager, a car is a potential weapon. The only teens who should be allowed to put the lives of others at...
Read MoreShould 15-Year-Old Try Alcohol at Home?
Posted on 6/28/2005
SHOULD WE LET OUR 15-YEAR-OLD TRY ALCOHOL AT HOME? Q: I have a very interesting problem and I am not sure how to handle it. My 15-year-old honor student, an all-around good kid, recently...
Read MoreMom Can't Control How Ex Handles 15-Year-Old's School Issues
Posted on 4/26/2005
MOM CAN'T CONTROL HOW EX-HUSBAND HANDLES SON Q: Two years ago, my husband and I separated after 25 years of marriage. We have a daughter who lives on her own and a 15-year-old son who chose...
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